Tips for keeping pre-teens safe online

[Drame]

DS is 11 and has an iPhone (given to him by his dad). I’m ok with him having the phone but I think his internet usage should be closely monitored with no opportunity for him to do any browsing or create social media accounts without us knowing about it. I have an iPhone too but his is registered under his dads email address so I don’t know if that would be a problem in terms of me getting access to his screentime records, blocking inappropriate content, etc. His dad and I are on good terms but he is of the opinion that he should just be left to his own devices online.

Any advise welcome! Do you have any apps or anything that helps you monitor your children’s phone usage?

Dad is being a bit naive here if he's allowing unfettered internet access with no controls and presumably not monitoring the phone.
If he won't budge, set your own rules for your house - to which I would include DS has to give you the access code to the phone so you can check it. If he refuses, then the phone doesn't come to your house. Ditto rules around usage at night and during things like sleepovers.

Our rules around checking were that we wouldn't necessarily check it all the time, but we reserved the right to check it at any time and without prior warning or permission being required. Or no phone.

DD13's phone is part of my "family" on my phone, so I can monitor phone usage, app downloads and it also locks at 9pm (later at weekends.) I can't remember how I set it up but it was easy enough. I would definitely recommend doing this, and also going through your settings on your broadband to limit what he can watch and search for.