Holiday rental must have/have nots

[TitaniasAss]

What do you look for in a holiday rental property. What are you 'must' haves, your 'would like' and your 'absolutely puts me off's please?

None of those scratchy glass chopping boards. Knives that can actually cut.

Especially if it’s a family sized property near the sea in the U.K., then a tumble drier or at least a heated airer, for drying beach towels.

I don’t care about fancy crockery, as long as there’s enough of it. One place we stayed at had very pretty mismatched crockery.

Ditto to the kitchen equipment already mentioned, cheese grater, etc., and a cylinder one, please, not a box grater.

Good Wi-Fi.

A king size bed in the main bedroom - I won’t stay anywhere without, but too many owners are too stingy to provide them, even when there’s plenty of room.

A choice of duvet weights - not just the same ancient one whatever the weather or season.

Absolutely agree that obtrusive owners/owners on site are a dealbreaker. I've once had a decent holiday where we were in cottage in the owners' garden, but it worked because they were absolutely professional and we never saw or heard them. In general, it drives me absolutely nuts.

Likewise, loads of notes. Once place we stayed it, there were notes saying not to use the draining rack to drain things, not to swim in the swimming pool, not to park in the parking space ... it was bonkers! The people who owned it were bemused and thought it was totally normal to expect people to dry everything by hand and immediately (there was no dishwasher), and to park 1/4 of a mile away and walk to the house. They were worried about water damaging the draining rack (it was wooden) and oil staining the parking space.

A knife sharpener.
Rope and pegs (lots of pegs) if you have a washing machine.
Matching wine glasses - I always seem to end up with the sherry thimble while others are drinking out of buckets.
A clean fridge.

Oh, and I'm going to add, if the location of your property is non-obvious, get someone who doesn't know the area to help you write directions. So that we are not driving round in the dark/getting out of the car and lurking in driveways peering at houses/getting increasingly fed up as we try to figure out where the hell the cottage is. For the last one we stayed at, there were a couple of signs but a) they were only visible from the other direction than the one we came from, and b) it was dark and we didn't spot them. Instructions had things like "Turn left at the cottages" (which bloody cottages?) They could have added "by the bus stop" as it was the only bus stop in the area.

In Portugal one time we had a similar situation, but maybe worse, as when we found it we didn't know we'd got the right place. It was cottages at the back of someone's house, but there was no sign up, and photos had been taken from the back, so we couldn't be sure we were in the right place. The house was in darkness, and when I rang the bell no-one answered. Thinking we had gone wrong, we drove away, hunted round again and ended back at the same place. I phoned up in the end, and the couple's daughter answered (she managed it for them), then she phoned her parents, who came out to greet us. a) put up a house name sign FGS, b) take recognisable photos of the property or location, and c) answer your goddamn bell when you're expecting guests.

It's clear from some of the posts here that you're never going to satisfy everyone @TitaniasAss!

Don't sweat the small stuff - e.g. round instead of square cheese graters - but there are some very common themes here which is the big stuff, e.g. enough chairs/seating/glasses crockery for the number of people, etc.

Not sure if you already have a holiday property or you're planning one, but one thing friends of ours did when they bought a place in France was made it available to friends (for a nominal rent to cover costs) so that we could 'test run' it for them.

Decent shower. Preferably walk in.

A socket each side of the bed for charging phones.

Washing machine/tumble dryer. Sharp knives and a potato masher.

Decent sized mugs for tea
Pasta bowls
Proper bath sheets not tiny "bath towels" that barely cover my arse
Good shower
Nice plump pillows
Some good knives and generally well equipped kitchen, not everyone eats out all week
Fast wifi
Couple of board games/pack of cards/book selection (plenty at the charity shop!)

One thing I forgot - enough, really comfortable seating. And some cosy throws.

And good, individual bedside lights for reading in bed.

Kingsize bed at least
NO febreeze sprayed items (cushion and sofa covers need to be regularly washed)
No airfreshners
Parking
Enough side tables for sitting in the lounge
Pouffes
If you boast about being near good cycling trails then have somewhere safe to lock away bikes
A proper hoover, not a dyson
Ironingboard and iron, also broom for sweeping and dustpan
Enough toilet roll
Somewhere to put items on a shelf in the shower, think about people who cant see ANYTHING once they take their glasses off
A proper guide to the appliances/guest book
Easy to adjust heating system thta people are not afraid to touch

Parking. Wouldn't rent a holiday place where we have to park on street in a busy area.
Clean. If dog-friendly this is doubly important as I don't want to be in a doggy-smelling house or have DH sneezing all week.
Adequate mugs not thimbles/teacups.
A decent stove and oven that are not just for show, with decent pans and baking sheet - I'd like to be able to cook some meals without feeling like I'm camping.
Yes to instructions if harder to find and bring able to get in the place on arrival and drop keys, once in Barcelona we were asked to drop our keys with management place who weren't around and didn't answer phones, we were worried about missing flights we waited so long.

Yes agree with some others there, think about lighting, to be flexible
Sockets that work and that you can put your plugs into as many have wires that come out the bottom so you need space around the plug socket top and bottom to get things into
Outside lighting that actually works and a clear name or number on the gate/door/entrance

Also bedside tables that are big enough to put a glass of water, a book, my glasses, my tissues, my inhaler, plus the lamp that should be there

I've been on the other side of this, renting out our holiday home in Spain. At the start of each season we had matching glass, sharp knives etc etc. By the second or third let the glasses were a mixture from the local bars, the non stick frying pan was well scratched, the oven was filthy. broken tips on the knives, etc etc. We even had the bathroom door broken down.....then they denied it!! It was quite a posh expensive apartment.
I think a lot expect far too much. Bring your own sharp knives etc . You can't expect a home from home....we don't all have identical homes.

These threads usually get owners appearing to say how impossible many of these asks are as guests break/steal everything. But it’s never clear to me why the costs of replacing things to an adequate standard aren’t part of your business costs. Basic home goods are not expensive to buy now.

How can people bring their own sharp knives to Spain without the (often substantial) cost of checking in luggage?

Matching crockery
Decent (not nylon, not crinkly) sheets
Washing machine and dryer (over a dishwasher, though both useful)
Good shower
Proper cutlery - not the cheap lightweight stuff you'd get in a school cafeteria.
The basics: loo roll, bin bags, salt, pepper etc.
honest description about road noise, distance to shops etc.
Proper tv - sky or some cable at least not just a couple iffy free channels - and leaving 100 dvds does not make up for it.
If you allow dogs do not make me restrict them to the kitchen.
And bloody hell leave me alone! I do not want you to come water the plants/check how I'm doing/ change the fire extinguisher/ and so on!

@Doubleraspberry here I am! Cottage owner ready to explain everything.

When I first thought about renting out my house I posted here to get ideas, and implemented most. I like to think my house ticks every box, but after three years I have learnt many things…..

Nice wine glasses - I cannot tell you how many get broken, at least one per let, sometimes five or more. I started this season with 36, I’m already down to 25. It would be lovely if they all matched but it’s become impossible to keep up with the rate of breakages, esp as IKEA must have had supply problems so I’ve had to supplement with others. But they are all similar decent sized ones. Also have gin and flutes, plus 3 different sizes of tumblers.

Enough tea towels for the week - these appear to be used to mop up tomato sauce on a regular basis. I started by supplying 5, only for them all to end up stained and unusable.

More than one key - guaranteed to get lost, then what the fuck do you do; change all the locks?

Dogs - I allow dogs and usually you wouldn’t know there had been any in the property. Only once was there a smell, and tbh I think it was just generally a skanky family, the whole house smelt terribly.

Enough supplies to last the week - I supply two loo rolls per toilet (4 toilets), just don’t have the storage for more, they’re very bulky. Supply large rolls of bin bags, foil, clingfilm and baking parchment, plus washing up liquid and around 10 dishwasher tablets.

Laminated notices - I try not to, I really do, but sometimes needs must. My house sleeps 12 and I can promise you many do not read the instructions for any of the appliances.

Don’t bother with a welcome pack - my reviews often mention how much it was appreciated. If you don’t like it just chuck it away, but it includes ground coffee, coffee pods, tea bags, delicious shortbread, marmalade, milk, butter and a bottle of Prosecco.

Property owners near by - I’m miles away, but looking at posts of Facebook I imagine they are the devil incarnate. There are always complaints about windows open, too many visitors, too many cars, out too late, and the temperature the heating is being run at. Must say it would put me off booking.

I do have sharp knives and supply a knife sharpener in my (always commented on) well equipped kitchen.

The vast majority of my guests are lovely, many rebook, and I have to admit it is a great way to earn a living, making people happy, what’s not to like?

Comfy beds
Decent blackout curtains in bedrooms
Enough coat hooks for at least 2 coats per person staying
Space to put our stuff, only minimal ornaments on surfaces
Space in kitchen to put our food

Enough tea towels for the week - these appear to be used to mop up tomato sauce on a regular basis. I started by supplying 5, only for them all to end up stained and unusable

Buy dark ones then but they're pretty essential.

It’s a business, not a hobby. You need to maintain your facilities as part of your business. It’s of no interest to me what facilities previous customers of yours had.

This is the post my comment was aimed at.

Absolutely - why were the second and third let customers offered those things? The costs of their rental should have covered a good clean, replacing any broken/missing items, your insurance premiums for getting things fixed etc.