Agreed reference or stay and fight???

[Moreat]

Any advice gratefully received. I have been offered a settlement which includes an agreed reference. How much of a hindrance will this be? Can managers / recruiters see it is an agreed reference and will they avoid me when they see it? Thank you

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You'll need to see to what extent you can negotiate the reference. Ideally, you want it to be a good reference - saying some good and useful things about your work there, and not coming across as keeping bad stuff back. If you can't realistically negotiate that (the company are unlikely to be prepared to lie, as that would put them at risk), then go for a very basic reference which states your job position and length of service, and states that it is the company's policy to provide standard references only.

In a similar situation. Does it look suspicious to have a prepared reference?

I think it depends. Most professions now only supply a dates reference but if you work in Social Care or Education, there's a lot more to a reference and an agreed reference is then evident a mile off.

I work in a field very closely related to social care, unfortunately. Would it put recruiters off if they spot an agreed reference? I have been offered the settlement due to ill health (caused by domestic abuse). I could continue returning to work but my concern is that they now want me out and will make life very difficult for me if I stay. But at the same time, an agreed reference might put off future employers...

It's pretty much the standard thing in a settlement agreement.

Who's going to know anyway apart from you and your current employer?

OP - sorry to hear about your situation. Are you still with your abuser? If not, you can truthfully explain your reference and reasons for leaving to future employers, with the assurance that your circumstances now are very different. I don’t have any advice from a recruitment aspect if you are still together. Wishing you well either way.

I would go with the agreed reference and move on. Many company references are fairly bland, name, rank, no disciplinary. You could register with a recruitment agency and run the reference by them before agreeing final wording. Hope all goes well. 💐

Thank you for your kind words. No we are now separated but we have children together and he continues to make life very difficult for me as much as he can.

Due to the illness he caused me due to stress I have missed a lot of work and had to take time off at the last minute.

The first time I came back my manager reduced me to tears but they are now denying this happened. They have all closed rank.