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Can I enjoy a harmless crush?
14

SidandAndyssextoy · 14/05/2022 18:11

Married quite a long time, kids etc. Still like my husband a lot and no intention of actually DOING anything but a new guy has just started at work and I’ve got a little crush on him. He’s fun to talk to and I’ve found myself making a bit of effort to look nice when I know I’m going to see him. He’s happily coupled up too and I have no reason to think he has any interest in me.

Is it really wrong to be enjoying this? It doesn’t feel very different to having a crush on someone on TV given the absolute certainty it won’t go anywhere, but he is an actual real person rather than someone on a screen.

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StopStartStop · 14/05/2022 18:16

As long as you keep a lid on it, fine.

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ThreeRingCircus · 14/05/2022 18:40

StopStartStop

As long as you keep a lid on it, fine.

I agree with this. I think it's pretty normal and as long as nothing actually happens and it stays in your own head then I wouldn't worry.

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SidandAndyssextoy · 15/05/2022 00:31

I can’t begin to imagine acting on it! Nor would it be remotely welcome. It’s more like having a crush on a sixth former when you’re in year 9.

In fact, the fact that I feel guilty about just having a bit of a crush probably demonstrates how unthinkable I would find an affair.

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RiverSkater · 15/05/2022 00:41

You can be reading a book and look at the covers of others. But if you neglect current book to dip into the other, and the story of the other book consumes you more you need to stop looking at the other book.

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MrsEricBana · 15/05/2022 00:50

I don't think it's ok, you're asking for trouble and it's disrespectful to your dh if you're changing your behaviour based on whether you're going to see this guy or not.

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VikingNorthUtsire · 15/05/2022 08:18

I've often got a little crush on the go. Been married 21 years and never dreamed of being unfaithful. Harmless IMHO as long as you aren't doing anything about it.

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SidandAndyssextoy · 15/05/2022 09:36

I guess like most of us it’s been a long time since I had any motivation at all to think about my appearance. Working from home a lot, spending 24/7 with the same people, not many nights out. It feels like an outlet for some forgotten urge to stick some mascara on and think about wearing a nice top. I’m not exactly turning up like Bet Lynch in her heyday.

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CambsAlways · 15/05/2022 11:19

you can’t help how you feel I’ve been with my husband 40 years and love him to bits, I’m glad you like yours, that did make me smile op! If it stays in your head it’s harmless! But I did think it’s a bit odd you make a bit of an effort with your appearance when you know you are going to see him! So you want him to take notice of you! What would you think if your husband made a bit of an effort if he took a shine to a woman at work! I’m not judging you btw

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Rubyroseyposey · 15/05/2022 12:08

Its normal and not an issue, so long as it doesnt lead into anything more ofc. Just enjoy for what it is.

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SidandAndyssextoy · 15/05/2022 13:01

I don’t think I expect him to take notice of me in any particular way. I suppose I just use it as a reason to get a bit motivated to make an effort. I don’t have much incentive right now to make myself look different for any other reason! DH watches me do my verruca treatment at night and can see my HRT patches. I suspect if he showed any romantic interest whatsoever I’d run a mile.

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SidandAndyssextoy · 15/05/2022 13:10

The crush, not DH! Despite the lack of glamour, DH continues to show a romantic interest without it scaring me.

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Zippidy123 · 15/05/2022 13:17

I dont see the harm in it, I've had crushes through the years, it's just human nature isn't it? I dont flirt or anything like that (wouldn't know how to even if I wanted to!). If fact I can barely string a sentence together when I speak to someone I have a crush on so there's never any danger of it going anywhere!

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PriestessofPing · 15/05/2022 13:29

I don’t think there is much harm in it from what your describing, but I do wonder whether you and your husband could do with some fresh spark together somehow? Date nights and all that business maybe? Could be fun to get dressed up and make an effort with each other in that way?

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SidandAndyssextoy · 15/05/2022 21:29

I think we probably could do with some time out. We do occasionally go out but it always ends up being very rushed, with sorting kids out and only time to chuck something slightly smarter on and stick a bit of make up on at best; not really properly getting in the mood.

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