Proud of myself - said no

[riverpebbles]

One of my neighbours just asked me to speak to another neighbour about access for works, because there is 'awkwardness' between them. I said no! Politely. But I did say no, on the spot without hesitating.

I said, 'If she has any questions I won't be able to answer them, if there's a difficulty of any kind I won't know what to say. I really think you are best placed to ask her, since it is a perfectly reasonable request.' And she basically agreed,saying there was this issue but she was sure she could brazen it out. I said,' I really think you can.'

I am normally quite bad with being soft, especially if caught unawares without time to think. So I am proud of myself.

Well done.

I'm also one who finds it hard to say no to others.

Your neighbour was a safe person to say no to, and they respected that.

Good for you. That sounds like it has the potential to turn into an absolute nightmare for you! I'd have said no too!

Well done. It’s very liberating and powerful when you can start saying no. It took me a while to get there.

Just remembered this particular neighbour also started being but cheeky about something else and I nipped that in the bud. She started talking about an issue with her garage (which is on our shared drive) and talking about what 'we' should do about it. This got my spidery-senses tingling and I said, 'I think you have lots of good options and should do what you think is best.' And she hasn't referred to it since. Result.

Well done OP.
Once you start saying no to people it gets easier to keep saying no.
And once people know you are likely to say no, they think twice about asking, because cfs somehow know who to target.

And a new neighbour on the other side discovered rat holes in her lawn and kept asking me what 'we' should do about it. So I said 'I think you need to call the council' and she was clearly angling for ME to call the council. So I said really firmly, 'It is your property and you will have to allow them access so you need to call. I will do what is required if they give you advice, but it is really. Your responsibility.'

Maybe I'm not such a pushover after all!😅

Good for you! I am starting to say no and it’s important!

But why would you say yes to any of these things

Indeed! But my first thought in response to any request is usually 'How can I help this person?' so I was pleased that my first thought was 'That is crazy, no way'

Not only are these 'no's' good for you, it sounds like they're actually good for the other people too!