Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Horrendous attempt at a smear test today

26 replies

HollyBollyBooBoo · 13/05/2022 22:02

I've always had smear tests, sometimes a bit awkward to find my cervix and I have to do things like put my fists under my
bottom to tilt my pelvis but they've always managed successfully.

Today was horrendous. I don't know where she thought she was going but I repeatedly said no that's my pubic bone, at one point I could feel her on my clit. She tried all 3 sizes of speculum.

Then she said I can't do it there's something blocking me getting in, have you had a prolapse. I said how would I know if I had one? No real reply we were both really flustered by this point so she said let's stop.

She's booked me in an appointment with the GP to check me out. She's really hurt me though, I can't pee without it really stinging and I can't sit properly. What the hell has happened?

OP posts:
Theteapotsbrokenspout · 13/05/2022 22:10

Can’t advise you on what was wrong for you today, but after years of failed, painful smear tests I was advised to switch to the local sexual health clinic. Every smear done by them was fast, more or less painless, and successful - may be something to consider.

carefullycourageous · 13/05/2022 22:14

Poor you. I hope the dr is more skilled!

battlecat98 · 13/05/2022 22:27

Poor you.Just reading your post made me wince. Sounds like she is not very good at smears. I bet it will make you worry about your next one now.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General health Women's health
RosesAndHellebores · 13/05/2022 22:34

I have never yet met a practice nurse who can do them effectively and painlessly. At my practice the mantra is that the nurses do so many they are much better than the GPS so the GPS don't do them. One of our GPS also does three private surgeries every week at the local private hospital. She did one for me once quite impromptu when we talked about it at an appointment I had for something else. Quick and painless. Funny that.

It's worth paying op, I did for years, directly with a gynaecologist. No problems at all and neither did he go ha, ha, it's just your difficult cervix.

Clearly you need a GP apt to check why you are in such discomfort. Mention the problems - the GP needs to know about the competencies of the nurses they employ to do what the practice is paid for.

winterchills · 13/05/2022 22:35

Was she new or training? Sounds horrible. Please don't let it put you off getting them though.

Mariposista · 13/05/2022 22:52

I really feel your pain. I have always had a dreadful time at smears finding the cervix. She managed last time after attempt 4, but it was horrible. The GP will be able to see what’s causing it. Some women have an issue with the vaginal muscles clenching involuntarily apparently. Sending support OP, I know what this is like. And it’s horrible as you tell yourself come on, it’s just a minute but you just can’t relax even if you try.

TragicMuse · 13/05/2022 22:59

I read a thing recently about lying on your side to make the insertion easier if you have a hiding cervix.

It's called left lateral position. Might be helpful for you - mention that and see if they'll try it instead.

MrOllivander · 13/05/2022 23:01

TragicMuse · 13/05/2022 22:59

I read a thing recently about lying on your side to make the insertion easier if you have a hiding cervix.

It's called left lateral position. Might be helpful for you - mention that and see if they'll try it instead.

I always find that easier - my doctors has the bed next to a wall so works better too!
Mine are usually tricky but the last one was so quick and the nurse was great

Bibbetybobbity · 13/05/2022 23:10

You can test for hpv at home. I appreciate you might want to get checked out by a dr now after that palaver, but it’s an option for next time. Easy to order online via Superdrug 👍🏻

tootiredtoocare · 13/05/2022 23:24

That's so awful. As someone who really struggles emotionally with smears, that would cause me so much distress. As previously suggested, sexual health clinic might be a good place to try.

Rubyupbeat · 13/05/2022 23:39

I am fortunate that it has never hurt me, but a friend of mine has sedation as her womb is tilted (think that's correct), so for her its extremely painful.

Northernlurker · 13/05/2022 23:45

Ummm is it possible she was trying at points to get the speculum in to your urethral opening? I wouldn't have thought that was possible until I had a swab done in late pregnancy. My not very good community midwife had a student in with her. She (the midwife) was being all glib and flash with the swab and shoved it in the wrong hole basically. I said 'owww' and she said oh it's just a quick swab then I said 'OWWW' and she realised. Very sheepishly then swabbed my Vagina. But it really hurt afterwards (cos you aren't supposed to ram things in there) so what you said just made me wonder......if a MIDWIFE can fail to find the vagina....
She was going to do some hospital shifts when I was due. Said wouldn't it be nice if she got to deliver the baby. It took all I had not to say 'only if you find the right exit!'

Original poster
HollyBollyBooBoo · 14/05/2022 07:47

Thanks all, I'm slightly less sore this morning, still stings to pee so I'm guessing she's grazed me or something.

OP posts:
Strawblue · 14/05/2022 07:49

I was also going to say I wonder if she tried to get the speculum into your urethra opening which would account for the stinging etc?

If it’s really bad over the weekend speak to a pharmacist.

Northernlurker · 14/05/2022 08:49

I reckon that must be it. It did get better quite quickly. I would try and drink plenty and therefore go lots.

Knittingchamp · 14/05/2022 08:50

If this was a routine test for men I can bet they'd never get trainee nurses in to do it. I had a very similar experience to you once OP and almost passed out after it, as I had major fear over having it done and like you, the nurse I had used multiple speculums and I even ended up bleeding then bad soreness for a while after. Horrendous. She was a lovely lady too and was.teting her best but we need better care. No wonder so many of us are so fearful about it.

ZealAndArdour · 14/05/2022 08:56

RosesAndHellebores · 13/05/2022 22:34

I have never yet met a practice nurse who can do them effectively and painlessly. At my practice the mantra is that the nurses do so many they are much better than the GPS so the GPS don't do them. One of our GPS also does three private surgeries every week at the local private hospital. She did one for me once quite impromptu when we talked about it at an appointment I had for something else. Quick and painless. Funny that.

It's worth paying op, I did for years, directly with a gynaecologist. No problems at all and neither did he go ha, ha, it's just your difficult cervix.

Clearly you need a GP apt to check why you are in such discomfort. Mention the problems - the GP needs to know about the competencies of the nurses they employ to do what the practice is paid for.

Oohhh, here she is again with her Nurse bashing comments, it’s RosesandHellaBoring Biscuit

Beginning to think you’re a Tory bot, laying the ground work for the next big media smear campaign on HCP’s - Evil Incompetent Nurses must be about to take the front page of the Daily Mail and The Sun by storm.

RosesAndHellebores · 14/05/2022 11:49

@ZealAndArdour just saying it as I have found it rather than launching a personal attack.

I am.proud to have votes Conservative every election since 1979. But I'm a human not a bot and in a democracy am allowed an opinion that differs from yours.

I wholeheartedly support the dismantling of the NHS and changing how it is organised and funded. A Continental socially funded scheme is long overdue. Do tell me some European countries with worse outcomes than the UK who are hankering after system just like the NHS because it is better. I'd be awfully interested to know.

Clarich007 · 04/01/2023 17:52

I hated the last few smears after menopause. They were so painful, even tbough I asked for a smaller speculum. She told me just to breathe through the pain, put your fists under your bum.
Turned out I had a tilted uterus.
The last one was so bad I went home bleeding and had horrendous thrush for a few days after that. Thank god I'm too old for routine ones now.

YorkieTheRabbit · 04/01/2023 18:13

I’m sorry op, sounds awful.
I loathe having them, many years ago a Fr at a family planning clinic, gave me a smear that was incredibly painful, made me bleed and told me off for complaining and telling her to stop. She absolutely made me feel like a piece of meat to be poked without any concern.
I’ve not had one as bad since but they are always very uncomfortable.
Im now over due, I know I need to go but I’ve been putting it off

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 04/01/2023 18:24

I find it highly doubtful that a nurse would try to fit a speculum into a urethra. The urethral opening is tiny and while it may be possible to inadvertently fit a swab in there a speculum would be pretty much impossible.

Oblomov22 · 04/01/2023 18:30

I hate smears. Many of mine are like yours. They hurt, they can't find it, they can't do it, it's a nightmare. Every sympathy. Flowers

CharlotteStreetW1 · 04/01/2023 18:40

Clarich007 · 04/01/2023 17:52

I hated the last few smears after menopause. They were so painful, even tbough I asked for a smaller speculum. She told me just to breathe through the pain, put your fists under your bum.
Turned out I had a tilted uterus.
The last one was so bad I went home bleeding and had horrendous thrush for a few days after that. Thank god I'm too old for routine ones now.

I also have a tilted cervix and was beginning to find smears more painful as I got older (now late 50s). Last time, I explained this to the nurse and she was very kind and I barely felt a thing.

Oblomov22 · 04/01/2023 19:10

I tell mine about my tilted cervix, still doesn't help.

ShutTheFrontDory · 04/01/2023 19:29

This is an old post btw to those posting!

But to the OP if you are still interested in discussing this. I always had painful smear tests, turned out I had a tilted cervix - the last nurse was the one to finally tell me. I would come away with UTI's after my tests as it took them so long to find my cervix they would give me infections.