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Original poster

Santa Claus and Tooth Fairy lies

23 replies

CurvyBirdy · 13/05/2022 20:47

My kids are arguing about whether they are real all the time, I feel guilty misleading them, how long should you lie to your children about Santa and the Tooth Fairy?

OP posts:
Ziga · 13/05/2022 20:48

Mine got to the stage where literally one day they turned to me and said “we know he isn’t real!” I figured it must be kids at school talking. How old are they?

Original poster
CurvyBirdy · 13/05/2022 20:57

under 8

OP posts:
Confusion101 · 13/05/2022 21:14

I can guarantee your guilt for ruining magical childhood characters on them would override your guilt for "misleading" them. Perhaps time to tell the truth of the tooth fairy but they only have a few more years left of Santa and Christmas will not feel the same without it

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Christmas Events & celebrations
MrsSkylerWhite · 13/05/2022 21:16

What are you saying 😱😱😱

Georgeskitchen · 13/05/2022 21:26

What do you mean they're not real?
😱😱

Original poster
CurvyBirdy · 13/05/2022 21:29

Georgeskitchen · 13/05/2022 21:26

What do you mean they're not real?
😱😱

😱sorry... (but elves are)

OP posts:
Ilikecheeseontoast · 13/05/2022 21:30

I’m 39 and my mother still insists they’re real! I love it!

lisavanderpumpscloset · 13/05/2022 21:36

Kids don't get to be kids for long enough these days. Please don't feel guilty. Let them enjoy the magic for as long as possible before they discover what the world is really like

GiraffeInTheSky · 13/05/2022 21:44

lisavanderpumpscloset · 13/05/2022 21:36

Kids don't get to be kids for long enough these days. Please don't feel guilty. Let them enjoy the magic for as long as possible before they discover what the world is really like

👏👏👏

ImustLearn2Cook · 13/05/2022 21:46

Confusion101 is right. My dd approached me and asked me to tell the truth: ‘Is the tooth fairy real?’

I told her the truth and she was very upset and shocked.

So, I regret it. I thought she was ready because of her asking me to tell the truth. But she wasn’t really ready.

I said to her that I think fairies are real but they don’t collect teeth. And she seemed to accept that. So, I thank she still believes in fairies, Santa, Easter Bunny etc.

toastofthetown · 13/05/2022 22:03

I'd never lie to them, especially at the point when they are figuring it out anyway. I figured out the truth pretty early on (because the story is absolutely bonkers) and my childhood was plenty magical despite knowing the truth. Christmas is still my favourite time of year. Gentle redirection with a 'well what do you think?' is one thing, but when they are having serious and reasonable doubts trying to come with increasingly elaborate lies about how actually Father Christmas is actually real just feels a bit wrong to me.

These stories are actually pretty good for developing critical thinking and how they can figure out the truth from mixed messages which seems a pretty good skill to have these days.

PurrBox · 14/05/2022 02:04

I agree with toast. The magic of childhood has nothing to do with believing literally in these sorts of things, and is much deeper and more profound than that.

I think it is possible to create an atmosphere where kids and adults both know that the kids know Santa is not literally real, but keep up a kind of gentle pretence of belief. Maybe that doesn't work if you have started out with a more literally belief- I don't know. Maybe it can develop.

Please don't feel like the magic is gone with the lies. Once kids start asking why Santa doesn't bring nice presents to the poor kids, it is time to stop inventing things, in my opinion.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 14/05/2022 08:15

Dd1 told me in very matter of fact tones at coming up to 9, that she knew Father Christmas was me and daddy, so I might as well admit it.

So I did, while stressing that she must not let on to her younger sister, or anyone else who still believed.

Sometime in her early 20s she told me she’d been dying for me to deny it, so she could go on believing a little longer. 😩
I so wished I had!

HummingQuietly · 14/05/2022 08:25

We still maintain its all real (because obviously it is) and our DD just humours us now. But secretly she loves playing along.

DS was a bit trickier because he believed quite late (he's autistic). In the end I told him that belief can be a choice you make, as well as just what you think is scientifically the most likely. It's fine to believe something different to his friends but best not to talk about it at school.

anothernamedoesntsmellsosweet · 14/05/2022 16:57

I broke my DDs heart last year when I told her. She has always been a fanciful child and her best friends believed too so that helped but she was in year 7 so I had to tell her. She sobbed and said but what about the elves, cue more sobbing, but mum what about fairies, more crying. It was awful. I felt so bad. She has had a childhood filled with magic and mystery and had loved it all so much. Christmas felt really different with her knowing 😥

Derrymum123 · 14/05/2022 20:48

WTF, of course they are real. Fairies live in my garden and the 'little people' live alongside us.

😱YABVU telling your children this. Let their minds be open to everything and be closed to nothing. Life is more fun when you believe.

internetpersonme · 14/05/2022 20:51

When mine was 6 she asked. I feel that if children are old enough to ask something they want the truth. I also feel childhood is precious and shouldnt be rushed so my answer was if you want father Christmas and the tooth fairy to be real they can be real which she was happy with.

internetpersonme · 14/05/2022 20:52

anothernamedoesntsmellsosweet · 14/05/2022 16:57

I broke my DDs heart last year when I told her. She has always been a fanciful child and her best friends believed too so that helped but she was in year 7 so I had to tell her. She sobbed and said but what about the elves, cue more sobbing, but mum what about fairies, more crying. It was awful. I felt so bad. She has had a childhood filled with magic and mystery and had loved it all so much. Christmas felt really different with her knowing 😥

Oh bless you. Right to tell her though. Much kinder to have her sobbing to you about it than in the playground at secondary school.

internetpersonme · 14/05/2022 20:53

anothernamedoesntsmellsosweet · 14/05/2022 16:57

I broke my DDs heart last year when I told her. She has always been a fanciful child and her best friends believed too so that helped but she was in year 7 so I had to tell her. She sobbed and said but what about the elves, cue more sobbing, but mum what about fairies, more crying. It was awful. I felt so bad. She has had a childhood filled with magic and mystery and had loved it all so much. Christmas felt really different with her knowing 😥

Sorry last message was to you

internetpersonme · 14/05/2022 20:54

HummingQuietly · 14/05/2022 08:25

We still maintain its all real (because obviously it is) and our DD just humours us now. But secretly she loves playing along.

DS was a bit trickier because he believed quite late (he's autistic). In the end I told him that belief can be a choice you make, as well as just what you think is scientifically the most likely. It's fine to believe something different to his friends but best not to talk about it at school.

Yes this is perfect

internetpersonme · 14/05/2022 20:54

HummingQuietly · 14/05/2022 08:25

We still maintain its all real (because obviously it is) and our DD just humours us now. But secretly she loves playing along.

DS was a bit trickier because he believed quite late (he's autistic). In the end I told him that belief can be a choice you make, as well as just what you think is scientifically the most likely. It's fine to believe something different to his friends but best not to talk about it at school.

Sorry mumsnet seems to not be quoting for me! My message that this is perfect was to you

Cheesegal · 14/05/2022 21:03

One of DS's shoes went missing inside the house. Never turned up . Clearly taken by elves so they are definately real.

If you believe in them, they are real <gavel>

weegiemum · 14/05/2022 21:26

My dad has never told me Santa isn't real. He just smiles and says "if you don't believe, don't hang up your stocking"! That's the stance I've taken with my dc too. They're now 22, 20 and 18 and they still hang up their stockings!

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