Taking DD to a funeral

[Funkyslippers]

I'm going to a funeral next week of someone I hadn't seen in several years but knew him for quite a while. DD1 knew him too but is too busy working and studying for exams (plus doesn't really want to go). I would really like someone to come with me so I'm not alone and DD2 (13) said she would which I really appreciate but would it be appropriate? She would only be there to support me. She hardly knew the deceased or the family. Thanks in advance

I think it's fine. In fact I think going to a funeral where she won't actually be overcome with grief is a good introduction to how funerals work. She isn't young enough for her presence to cause tutting (some people are very odd about children at funerals) and it's perfectly acceptable for you to take a companion to support you. I have been to funerals of people I've not met, because the close friend whose relative had died wanted me there to support them or a child they were taking.

Thanks. She's been to her grandad's funeral and was fine so knows what to expect

So does that mean that DD2 will miss out on school to support you at a funeral?

If so, I wouldn’t say it warrants having any time off school to support a parent at a funeral. Especially if said deceased person had no real relationship to your daughter and someone whom you haven’t seen in several years.

Children shouldn’t be used as emotional crutches to support the parents. It’s the other way around. Always.

Sorry about your loss however. I’m sure you would manage to attend the funeral on your own. There’s normally lots of people on their own at funerals due to work commitments etc

No,it's on a Saturday

Also I'm not going to be particularly emotional, I just don't want to go on my own!

Yes it's completely fine if she's happy to go.

I think it’s quite inappropriate.

A 13 year old going to a funeral is fine. You putting your daughter in the position of needing to give you emotional support isn’t. As pp says, it’s the other way around.

As I said before I don't need emotional support, I just don't want to go on my own