Why hasn’t CBT/therapy etc helped me?

[Nocrispsinthehouse]

I have had anxiety since I was a small child and combined anxiety/depression throughout my adult life (now 49, and it’s the worst it’s ever been).
I have always felt that my anxiety is really deep set and ridged (I don’t know how else to describe it). I had many issues as a child. Major panic, anxiety, OCD’s, existential fears, phobias etc. These issues were never addressed by my parents and it was all put down as my ‘thing’, my personality trait, just me being me.
Over the years I have tried so many things to help. I have had endless counselling sessions, lots of CBT sessions, hypnotherapy, have seen a Psychologist, had EMDR, mindfulness etc............nothing has helped long term no matter how much effort and time I give it.
Whenever I read about anxiety and depression there are so many who will say CBT and therapy etc helped them out of this dark hole.
But they have little impact on me. Why haven’t they helped me? I have given it my all with these things but it’s as though I am more anxiety than actual me and I will never be able to take over the reins.
Has anyone else with mental health issues struggled like this?

Did anything help you?

Thank you BlueyDragon I think you’ve hit the nail on the head and that is the importance of finding the right therapist for you not just the right therapy. Since looking into ND conditions recently I can see that many of my mum’s side of the family have probably been ND and sadly most undiagnosed and most sadly have passed.
Browneyes77 I am definitely going to ask about the beta blockers, like you say, if the physical symptoms are under control then I may be able to start really working on the mental health issues. My mind is like one of those Slinky coil toys, no matter how far I stretch it to make to work another way it inevitably pings right back to its coiled state!

@flourella

If you feel a diagnosis helps you then who am I to judge? It can be hard to put a lot of faith into them though when psychiatrists do not agree and often change the diagnosis as time goes on etc. Hope you get to the bottom of it.

@Nocrispsinthehouse

Autism was first mentioned to me by a mental health social worker around 10 years ago, then again more recently by someone giving me one of my failed rounds of CBT. And maybe by some other people as well. I've seen so many(!). I live in supported accommodation and asked my support worker to arrange an appointment with the mental health team to discuss a referral near the end of 2020. I could just as easily gone to the GP for it I think, and that might have been quicker because I had to wait a few weeks to see a nurse at the CMHT. He did the AQ10 questionnaire with me and asked a load of questions, then sent the form to the local NHS adult autism diagnostic service, who triaged the referral on paper and wrote to say I was on the waiting list at the end of January last year. I had the assessment in mid November and the diagnosis at the beginning of December. Almost exactly a year in total, so much quicker than I expected.

I think I have to try a specialist OCD service if they're offering, because I can't live the rest of my life like this. My contamination fears, especially around food and drink, mean it's just not feasible to go and stay anywhere though. There is more than one NHS service offering CBT and ERP at the same specialist level, and others do it as home visits or on an outpatient basis, so I'm looking at those instead of the ward I was referred to last time. They are a long way from where I live unfortunately, but maybe it would be the therapist making the journey and not me! Have you ever had one of these places mentioned to you, or looked into them yourself? OCD UK has great information on them.

In fact, the place I nearly went to does offer home visits, but I'm not sure they do the whole length of the treatment that way, so that's something the local team are going to ask before deciding which to try for. Last time they said they would offer a few visits to lay ground work so I was able to go and stay on the ward, but I'm not confident I'll ever get to that point. Regarding the contamination issues, I'm not expecting or even fantasising about becoming "normal" and able to stay in hotels or eat in restaurants or other people's houses (although being able to eat using plates and knives and forks would be nice!). I do have goals for therapy that are pretty modest, but I hope achievable somehow. I just want my life to be a little easier and less restricted.

I have never had it suggested to me, I will look into this, thank you.
I agree, it’s not way to live, I totally empathise with you regarding the food and drink contamination fear, I have had this since I was a young child, it has ruined my relationship with food, my social life and I fear I have passed it onto my dd, I can’t even begin to tell you how it has greatly shaped my life and not in a good way but I suspect you understand what I mean. I hope it works for you 🤞

I absolutely know the feeling!!

I personally have found the BB’s have really helped me. They’re always worth looking into. So speak to your GP and see what they advise and whether they think they’re right for you xx

Thank you Browneyes77, have you looked on the Psychiatry-U.K. website regarding the OCD? They have some very interesting info on there.

OP this might sound a bit off the wall, but I wonder if it might be worth reading this book?

archive.org/details/phobiafreemedica0000levi

It posits a theory that many phobias and anxieties stem from inner ear/vestibular disorders.

I've lived with what I thought was panic disorder (and resultant anxiety/agoraphobia) for all my adult life. Recently, after reading this book, sought advice from a vestibular physiotherapist and got a diagnosis of PPPD (a kind of dizziness). I'm not going to say it will fix everything, but the book is free to read on the archive site, and might be worth a shot.

Now treating condition with physio exercises and attempting CBT to address residual anxiety from years of living with what I now know was caused by an underlying mechanical physical issue.

@browneyes77

Have a read of this. Scroll down past all the waffly bits I tin you get to the numbered list. Sound familiar?

Anxiety (and depression) can definitely be just those things in an NT person. Also, a huge number of women particularly are mid diagnosed with those things when they are in fact autistic (or, autistic with anxiety and depression likely caused by being autistic and not having their needs met).

taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/

@Graphista You say you wouldn't know where to start. The AQ test (a short 10 question version) is usually what your GP gets you do do first of all. This is the fuller version, fill it out and see what you get.

psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient

Steps should be, roughly: You go to your GP, request an assessment and explain why. If they say no, ask for a second opinion. More likely they will send you an AQ-10 to do. GP then either declines assessment or refers you and depending on your area this can be a 6-18 month wait. There is even a wait for private, I had health insurance that covered mine and I still had to wait nearly 3 months with that.

Then you'll have to fill out a load of forms, have a diagnostic interview and after they've assessed everything they will either diagnose or not and provide a report to you and your GP.

Similar process for ADHD. Some areas will do both at the sad time as will some providers. Mine did with the private doctor I had it all in one go. Some areas split Autism and ADHD services and it's two assessments. With ADHD if it's diagnosed they will then take you through treatment options.

I do have tinnitus, not sure if that’s related at all? Although I didn’t have it in childhood when my issues started but definitely worth looking at. Thanks.

Well, I think vestibular issues can be a tricky thing to diagnose, especially historically. And I'm no medic! But yes, I can imagine that an ear issue of any kind might contribute.

To investigate, you may need to seek advice of: ENT person/GP/optician/vestibular physio.

But have a wee look at the book first and see if it sounds plausible.

CBT didn't help me at all.

Medication did.

(Propranolol)

I was about to say that vestibular issues can be a major factor. My dd and my DH both have major anxiety and after a sensory assessment with an OT it turns out both have vestibular issues. It was explained to us that if your vestibular system isn't working properly, your whole nervous system is on high alert in case you fall, which means you are flooded with cortisol/adrenaline etc really easily. But you can treat it with specialist swinging therapy. It helped my dd a LOT.

In my case I was steered away from talking therapies as my anxiety and ocd were triggered by actual events and it was thought it wouldn't help and might even cause more problems.
AD's have completely transformed my life.

@mymindisamuckingfuddle Thanks for that info. Very interesting

This was exactly like i was reading about myself, quite overwhelming to read and realise it was someone else. I am around the same age and now realise there's more to my mental health, i am currently on the wait list to be seen for ADHD & Autism. I also have depression, anxiety/panic attacks and feel i need more than CBT, its too deep rooted and didn't help at all, non of it did. I'm currently waiting to see a Psychiatrist who can unravel all this rolled in to one and probably having knock on effects with each one! I feel like an onion....my layers need to be peeled back until reaching the core.

Sorry you have been struggling too.
I hope the psychiatrist helps you.

I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist too this year and he believes that I may be neuro-diverse. He’s not a specialist in that area so has asked my GP to refer me. I’ve asked the GP to refer me via the Right to Choose scheme but it’s still a long wait but at least I have the ball rolling.

CBT only really works on symptoms, it doesn’t address underlying causes. Would you be open to long term, open ended psychotherapy?

Haven’t RTWT apologies, but there’s research to indicate that SSRIs can exacerbate ADHD symptoms and SNRIs are more appropriate for anyone thought to have ADHD

I can’t afford it sadly. All the NHS can offer me is CBT or 6 weeks counselling (I’ve just completed the latter).