Which job would you choose?

[Isabella83]

I’m soon to qualify in a job I’ve been training to do for years and I’ve been lucky enough to have received 2 job offers. One of the jobs is something I’m not too excited or passionate about but it’s literally less than a mile away from home. Whereas the preferable job is roughly an hours drive away (possibly more in traffic).

I have a 7 year old dd and don’t know if I can justify leaving for work at 7.30am and coming home around 5.30/6pm Mon-Fri. If I took the first job then I’d be home in less than 15 mins.

Do I put my ideal job on the back burner until she’s older and just make this sacrifice of the less appealing job? WWYD?

Difficult one. I'd go for the first job if that was me. Would prefer a better quality of personal life.

Can you move closer to the further away job? If it’s an hour drive, so 40-60 miles then it’s going to be longer in traffic, plus dropping your DD at BS/AS care.

my work is 14 miles and door to door dropping off/pick up DC is 1hr 15- 1.5hrs due to traffic. Nightmare

I could potentially move closer but it means uprooting dd from school which is a big move for a job. It’s really difficult and I’m torn 😔

I'd go with the job closer to home.

I'd go for a job closer to home for now, gain some experience and then apply to organisation B when DD was older. Jobs will come up again.

I’d definitely go for the job closer to home. You’ll get some experience and it won’t be forever. I’d personally never want a long commute, plus petrol costs are ridiculous so I’d want to avoid that too.

You sound so much more enthusiastic about the further away one. If you're sure about the timings then go for it, and consider moving. It would be OK in junior school and set DD up nicely for secondary school.

However, DH has always done an hour's commute and no way is he normally back by 5.30/6pm. He would do some pick ups from after school club by arrangement, but could rarely do both the drop off and pick up on the same day. You'd need a CM or nanny I think.

*unless your after school clubs etc are way more flexible than ours

I’d go with the job you love. But then I work in a job where my head office is 3 hours from home. I don’t think 1 hour ish is crazy far. But it would depend if the salary was drastically different.

3 years down the line though, I have no regrets about the career choices I made and when I have had to work longer hours, dc have Dh picking them up, so they haven’t missed out. His presence is just as important as mine is.

I think the key for me is this a job I’ve been training to do for years

This is it. this is what you have been working so hard for. Now is not the time to "settle".

Now, at my time of life, I'd go for the local one. Like most, I'm not fan of commuting, but that is not a ridiculous commute nor a ridiculous length of time to be out of the house.

Is her Dad not able to share parenting ? You seem to be suggesting you would have to be responsible for both before and after school arrangements.

Her dad wouldn’t be able to help as he’s useless, but DP could help with after school.

It does feel a lot like I’m “settling” after working so hard. But then I feel selfish for putting a job first. The mum guilt never ends.

But then I feel selfish for putting a job first.

But you're not.
You are showing her that hard work can get you to a place you want to be. To a job that challenges you. Presumably a job that earns you a reasonable salary, much of which will no doubt be spent on things that will advantage her (personalise to now being able to afford a holiday or whatever hobby she is in to).
Those hours out of the house aren't ridiculously long. You'll soon get into a rhythm and she will be fine.
Millions of children grow up with parents who WOTH and grow up to be well adjusted adults.
You should be proud of what you have achieved and see the best job as the next natural step.

I'd go for work/home life balance and take the first job

Are both jobs in the field you’ve been training in and want to build a career in?

You could reframe this positively. You are showing your DD that women having good, fulfilling careers is important.

what about all the other factors to consider?

• is there a difference in pay or other benefits?
• what about progression opportunities (internally and career wise)?
• what further training opportunities would you get?

it all matters.

Work/life balance is the important thing for me. It wouldn't be about sacrificing myself for my DC it would be about making MY life easier.

Is there a pay difference? Flexible working or wfh options at all?

I know in a previous job I calculated I could take a fairly decent pay cut if I lost my commute and still have the same amount of money in my pocket at the end of the month. And I’d get all that travel time back too

also would you need to pay for additional childcare with the further away job?

Take the first one. An hour ( minimum) commute each way would grind away love for any job pretty quickly, particularly as you're the primary carer for a 7 year old. Unless that is there is any scope to wfh 2-3 days per week ?

The further away job have offered flexible working, 4 days (32 hours) and 1 day from home. The other place has got a very bad reputation for high staff turnover and bad management but it’s obviously very convenient.

I just want to do the right thing by DD and my anxiety has gone into overdrive trying to decide