If your 13 year old was having a new friend to sleepover would you contact the parents?

[Zippidy123]

DD is 13, in year 8. She's made a new friend who is coming to sleepover on Saturday. I've never met her or her parents before. They're meeting in town before walking to our house later so I won't see them at drop off. Do I just let the girls get on with it? I'm so used to how things are in primary school where you know all the mums, this is new territory for me. Do I get the mums number from DD just so I can confirm and give her our address for Sunday pickup or just leave them to organise it themselves?

Ds14 is going to a sleepover tmrw. I said he is only allowed to go if I have a parents number. Won't contact unless it's an emergency though!

I would get the mum's number and give her your address. Just to be on the safe side.

of course you need to contact the girl's parents.
how do you know they have given their permission for this.

Yes definitely, get the parents number to confirm it's all OK.

Great I'll get the number. I was expecting to be told that they're old enough to organise their own social lives and not to molly coddle! Parenting teens is a tricky business!

I would, hopefully the child's parent will want to contact you before allowing the sleep over

Yes and at 13 would like to have met the parents also just to be on the safe side and to know they are safe. Same as I would expect they would want to meet me if their kid staying with us. Better to be safe than sorry.

Yes at 13 would still ask for parents number in advance and send a quick text 👍

Yes ask DD for the number and just give them a quick call to say who you are and that this is your number etc and arrange for pick up etc as good to make contact.

If I was having the child at my house I would tell my child to text the friend our address and my mobile number.

Is she was going to someone else's house I wanted the address.

If the child was staying with us I'd want the parents' number and to speak to them to check any allergies, needs, or anything I should know.

If mine was staying at there's I'd have to meet the parents first.

i would let them organise it themselves. Usually the other kid comes in and at some point hands you their mobile and says “ can you just say hi to my mum” or your kid will say , is it ok if * Olivia. Gives her mum your number? Job done . I certainly wouldn’t expect/want/need to meet or talk to her parents before hand , though they might want to talk to you.

Deffo make contact. I usually get the number for where DD is and she's 15!

Up to the other girl’s mum, I’d say.

Oops I see it's the other way around - I don't always make contact if DD is hosting.

A thirteen year old can tell someone about an allergy. My dd has anaphylaxis to peanuts but once she was in secondary school she could definitely read packets/menus, speak to serving staff in restaurants or tell other people about her allergy.

Yes I'd definitely contact parent to confirm details and give address and pick up time.

I would and have sent a short text introducing myself so the parent has my number and name, plus provided my address.

Text sent, had a nice chit chat.

Balance is needed.

You need to know your child is not going to a house where the parents are away overnight and been told that the child host is staying at yours.

But your child should be old enough to agree the arrangements and organise to introduce you to the other childs patents.

I am always astonished at the number of parents who are quite happy to allow their young teens to stay over at the home of complete strangers without double checking that the parents a. exist b. are not mad axe murderers and c. are actually expecting the child.

When I was younger we routinely lied to parents about where we would be staying (at xs house) and then stayed out all night or went to homes our parents would never have allowed us to stay in!

There is absolutely no way I'd allow this without speaking to the parents. A text at the very least.

I would want to exchange numbers with the other parent - otherwise who would they/you contact in case of an emergency

This is rubbish. Laying eyes on a parent doesn't mean they are safe. Honestly it baffles me.

I would at 13 as it is still quite young my eldest is 15 and he has asked if a friend can stay over on a night he is going to a party as the friend lives quite far away from the house the party is taking place it, I have my suspicions that said friend is not allowed out past 8 and it's their plan to get around this problem but I would imagine strict parents at 15 that I don't know will want to know who I am, contact number etc.