Just not enjoying life

[Caspianberg]

I’m finding Ds 2 and life in general hard.
Ds still doesn’t sleep. I’m trying to work and house essentials with him.

Today he woke at 6am, flooded bathroom whilst I tried to shower, caused chaos at doctors for allergy check up, undid pram straps and almost leapt infront of car at traffic lights. Then threw yogurt on the floor from trolley in supermarket and it smashed everywhere, undid car seat straps and was loose in car on busy road until I could safely pull over, refused lunch, is exhausted so I spent 2+ hrs getting him to nap but he refused and just climbed baby gate and escaped on repeat.

I had to just cancel babysitter for this evening for my birthday meal out as he won’t sleep for them and I can’t leave him with them if he hasn’t napped as he will be a horror ( I was only planning 6-8.30pm to be out).

I have so much to do work wise, as he now never naps and sleeps maybe 9pm-6am with several wakes. If he does nap an hour I’m frantically trying to get stuff done as it’s over 2 years of not having a moment now.

We have no family help. Live overseas. The babysit tonight is neighbour and first time in a year. Dh helps a lot but also working full time and also exhausted from work/ house renovations/ terror child. He has nursery place but not for another 6 months.

He’s now raided the snack cupboard whilst I type this and is sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by an entire pack of biscuits he’s poured everywhere and eating.

Can he go to nursery/childcare during the day? I don’t think its possible to work while looking after an active toddler, especially one who doesn’t reliably sleep.

The rear doors of car have child locks so they can be opened only from the outside. They are really easy to activate.

Sorry, I meant childcare of some form for the next 6 months.

Goodness, what a rotten day and I bet the fact it's your birthday is an extra kick in the teeth. Two year olds are a nightmare - mobile but absolutely no common sense! I hope tomorrow is brighter for you.

Feeling for you op and sending you wishes that he is chilled the rest of today and sleeps well tonight. On the bright side he will grow out of all this. Are you wfh with him there

I hear you. It is really difficult.

My toddler is the same in terms on getting into trouble and doing exactly what he should not be doing all the time, but it's a lot easier for me since he sleeps and is at nursery while I work 3 days a week. I've noticed that mine gets hyperactive when he has even the smallest amount of sugar. I gave him half a chocolate biscuit yesterday and that was a big mistake! He was going like ten times faster.

Have you tried or considered cutting out sugar from his diet?

Does he sleep at night? Just wondering if he's struggling to self soothe to fall asleep or if it's something else.

@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas - no it isn’t possible. Childcare under 3 years is pretty rare where we live. Everyone uses family, lives in large family groups or doesn’t work.
Work shouldn’t be a problem, dh and I can do it around Ds ( B and B), but 2 years of constant child means we are really behind on stuff.
I have guests due at the end of next week for 14 day stay in apartment for example and I still need to plant up large balconies, weed everywhere, cut grass and slopes, hedges, fix a piece of skirting in bedroom and paint, paint something outside on new fence as old one blew down, plus regular cleaning, make beds, prep, emails to reply. It just feels never ending. Covid hasn’t helped either with restrictions.

I just know that instead of going out for birthday, il spend the evening listening to Ds causing chaos whilst dh tries to settle whilst I tackle some of the list.

@ZenKaleidoscope - when he decides to sleep he does settle himself with one of us on chair in room or in our room nearby reassuring. He eats pretty healthy ( when he does eat).

Yesterday I spent hours at local farm with him, he was knackered. He fell asleep for 43 seconds in car on drive home, and that was him powered up until 9.30pm last night. Cot side removed already as he launches himself over the top or balanced onto bars like some kind of circus act.

That sounds pretty tough and exhausting. Can you take to park and let run wild for an hour and then try to get napping. Is the apartment for paying guests? as sounds too much if have guests staying with you on top of this. Order in a nice takeaway for when child is in bed and try to have a nice evening. Can you not get a large playpen and get a mesh cover for it so he cannot escape so you can at least get your work done. Know you can get them for a cot not sure about playpen. Happy Birthday and things will get better once starts nursery. Do not give any sugar at all as that is making him hyper.

At least you are seeing some humour in it or else you will go mad and this time will pass and it will get easier even though does not feel like it now. You are doing great and he just sounds like an energetic young fella. Maybe he will be a runner or a highjumper.

Only half of that needs to be done before your guests arrive. After they arrive they can help you do or help with childcare.

Annoyingly the car lock issue also, the door at the back left side doesn’t actually lock. It’s an old crappy car. So Ds seat is on the right side and I assumed safe as in car seat strapped in. We ordered new car 10 months ago, which should have taken 6 weeks but chip shortage/ covid/ Ukraine etc means no sign of it. But that’s no help when he’s unclipping himself like Houdini.

The apartment is paying guests. We really need them as country covid restrictions here mean we haven’t been able to rent out much the last 2 years.

We do usually spend most the day outside in woods, garden , park, walking but doesn’t really seem to wear him out. Just me, and then means I don’t get anything done either at home.

Just hung up laundry to dry on the balcony with Ds help. Poor cats bed and handful pegs were lobbed over the top and is now resting in a large bush on the driveway… neighbours will think we are burglars when one of us gets time at 11pm to get a ladder and go and retrieve, and it’s yet another thing on the list of 101 things to do.

A playpen really wouldn’t work at all, either climb out or just rock the thing until it tipped over.

No takeaways deliver here.

It just feels like it’s never ending, as soon as one thing half done, a huge list of things to do extends. Ds 10 min allergy check up today, has now led to x3 specialist appointments which will all also be long 1-2 hr drives alway, and a full day there.

@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas - they are paying guests. I can’t get holiday makers to mow the lawn unfortunately