How can I manage this situation at work?!

[pricklyporcupine]

I have worked for my company pt for 3 years and 2.5 years wfh, my boss suggested it when I said I needed to wfh but I accepted it might not work for him and was happy for him to hire someone else as at the time I hadn't been there very long. He said all I'd have to do is buy a laptop so I did that and I've been wfh ever since.

Fast forward to now, everything was working ok (I thought anyway) until I went into the office at Christmas and he was really angry at me, I don't know why but he was so rude to me that the whole office went silent, he was accusing me of being close by to the office but never visiting (I couldn't in lockdown and there was never any expectations I would go in the office anyway plus I have moved away which he knew about and even said good luck with the move so am definitely not close to the office at all and rarely go anywhere near it but I do pop in the office when I'm close) he didn't believe me when I say I don't really come that way anymore.

on this occasion I was in the area so I offered to pop in and it was my day off. He then made me work in the office and when I said I had to go to collect my dc from school he just ignored me and I had to ring the school to arrange for them to stay late.

Anyway since then he has been quite mean to me. Treating me worse than everyone else.

I am trying to stick it out and find a new job but Im finding it hard to find a 100% wfh replacement job. I don't know what to do now. It's really really affecting my mh. I think about what im doing wrong in the job constantly and am now so anxious im logging on everyday even when I'm not working and going to sleep worrying I've not done enough. He also keeps giving me so much work it's impossible to get it done in my hours. I've raised it with him and he starts quoting things that I should be quicker at by now which justifies his giving me more work. It's actually not true because the company has grown a lot and the work load for me has almost doubled but I have had no pay rise the whole time I've been here and tbh am too scared to ask for one.

He's also refusing to answer the phone to me and only me. If I call he lets it go to voicemail. I think he is trying to push me out but I can't afford to just leave until I find a new job.

I don't know what to do anymore. He's now accusing me of things that are beyond normal. I want to get out and am sat here crying as he has been emailing me constantly all morning on a nasty manner. I can't get my actual job done because he's trying to have an argument about something over email. I've tried to call so that it's not constant emails back and forth and again he ignores me. Just at a loss now.

Your manager wants you gone, so looking for a new job is definitely the best option for you mh

However, you will likely struggle to find a full WFH role, also most companies won't allow childcare while you are working - my team is fully remote, but we have a rule that you cannot look after children during work hours.

Thanks all yes I think he wants me gone too so will continue to look for a new job.

As others have said contact ACAS. Good luck, Op, it sounds horrendous.

Do you get sick pay? If it’s affecting your mental health I’d be tempted to get signed off with stress whilst you look for a new job. At least that way you can have some headspace from him.

If you can’t do that I’d stop doing anything outside of contracted hours including responding to texts and emails. Do you have a work phone? If not I would stipulate you will no longer be using your personal phone for work related matters and ask that anything is sent via email. Only log onto your emails during your contracted hours so that that you can’t be harassed by him during your own time.

ACAS will advise and help you for free;

Helpline 0300 123 1100
www.acas.org.uk/

When you started to wfh was a plan put in place or was it really here's a lap top off you go? Did you not have any meet ups, supervision or appraisals in 2.5 years? Did you work during the lockdown?

If there was no discussion could your expectations be crossed, could he have expected you to keep in touch and go in sometimes, could he think you are taking the mick never going in to the office in 2.5 years, wfh around school and saving on childcare. Could colleagues have been dripping in his ear?

Did you discuss or consider your office availability with him when you moved? As you have no contract can he not call you back to work in the office anytime?
What would you do if he said he wanted you to do this?

Without communication resentment can build, could you request a facilitated discussion?

None of this defends the way he is treating you now though.

Thanks. I don't get sick pay. I haven't taken a sick day since I started here.
I work at least double my hours by working in the evenings now too.

They know this and it's not even possible to do the most recent level of work in my original hours. I have never missed any deadlines, work as much as I can, I answer any calls on my days off as well as my emails. It's now taking so much time up both physically and mentally.

I will phone acas as well. I am happy to get a new job but if I'm pushed out before I get one it will be difficult for us.

@Fullsomefrenchie I do call him but he doesn't answer his calls.

You would be entitled to statutory sick pay though, he has to pay that, I know it's not your wage but better than no income.

This is so bad. None of it is ok.

Your pay is low and in effect you have had a pay cut given the rate of inflation, you have no paid sick leave, and you are being bullied terribly.

So you are being kept in poverty which in effect makes it extremely difficult to fight for what is rightfully yours never mind to move on.

1. Forget any notion of working things out with this prick. You have to leave
2. You need a survival plan to tide you over between this situation and a new job

Please call ACAS. Please try to get signed off sick even if it’s the govt minimum. Don’t blame yourself for any of this, it’s him not you.

Much of what you describe falls into bullying and constructive dismissal. However, and I say this as someone who has won a constructive dismissal case against a v big company, I’d only recommend that course of action if you feel overwhelmingly wronged. If you think you can get a new job and put this behind you, I would not pursue the legal action bc it’s more work and stress at an already difficult time.

It sounds like a tough spot to be in given your location and transport issues. But there will be a solution and the first step is to get away from this terrible person.

Thank you @BoDerek I appreciate your reply, I agree I am going to stop working so many hours and start putting a bigger effort into getting a new job. I haven't let this company down ever, I'm always there when they need me on tap and feel like an idiot half the time allowing it.

Glad you managed to win your case and I agree I am going to keep in mind calling in sick and claiming SSP as a last resort if things get really bad. In all honesty I haven't called in sick in most of the companies I've worked for so it didn't even cross my mind to do this but it has gotten so bad now I am going to try to chug along here until I get a new job and if it all gets too much I will call in sick because it really is starting to affect me and it's also beginning to knock my confidence for any future jobs which isn't worth it.