Do people no longer say thank you for wedding gifts?

[AmandaHoldensLips]

Maybe I'm just getting old, but do people no longer send a thank you for wedding gifts?

Four (very nice) wedding gifts sent in the last 18 months, and not a single thank you from any of the receiving couples. One was a (not insignificant) cash gift as requested towards a honeymoon, another a piece of furniture chosen from their wedding registry, and 2 further wedding registry gifts from their lists.

I have no intention of mentioning it of course, but jeez, whatever happened to basic manners?

Certainly everyone I know or have been to a wedding of sends thank you notes, sounds like you have rude friends / family.

Sadly not, I have found that even sending a thank you text is rare these days

I got married 2 years ago, and our first priority after the wedding was to sit down and write the thank you cards. Yes, it was annoying. Yes, it took up lots of evenings. But people had spent time money and effort and it's the polite thing to do.

I find people no longer say thank you for anything! I make my kids write thank you cards for Christmas and birthday etc..... including all their school friends at their party. We have not had a thank you back from any of the parties we have been to.

It is a lack of basic manners. I always write thank you cards myself as well but think it is a dying form.

In my experience, thank you notes still happen but a long time after the wedding. Many couples now get a thank you card package from their photographer so have to choose images and get these printed up, which can take months... and then get around to writing them all. 12 months from the wedding seems standard but the 18 months you've experienced is taking the piss, IMO, and I'd be annoyed too.

I remember having a massive argument with my mum before my wedding (10 years ago). Some gifts were trickling in up to a few weeks beforehand and mum wanted me to write thank you cards as soon as I received anything. I wanted to wait until after the wedding so that I could add a few lines such as "we had a lovely day, thank you for being a part of it" and also, the superstitious part of me thought we should wait in case anything went wrong. Mum though, behaved as if the world was ending. She'd never been so mortified in her life and couldn't believe I was being so ungrateful. It was probably the most, and only, stressful part of the wedding - the shouting and tears, pearl-clutching and wailing over those bloody thank you cards. I came home from work one day to find that she had bought some thank you notes from the supermarket and left them out for me with a pointed note telling me they had to be written or she would do them for me. They were clearly aimed at children's birthday presents with teddy bears and balloons and comic sans script. I already had a set of cards matching the wedding invitations but kept them hidden in case she popped round one day to write them on my behalf. As it happened, we wrote all cards in the three days following our return from honeymoon. The longest any individual had to wait between present delivery and card was 5 weeks. My mum still talks about it though. I'm glad she rarely gets invited to weddings these days, I don't think she'd cope.

I think, in general, people don’t send thanks for any event. When we stayed with friends, we’d take gifts, offer to pay for things and send a thank you note or text immediately afterwards.

I sent a box of gifts at Easter and don’t even know whether they arrived, let alone been thanked for them. No acknowledgement at all. I e given up sending birthday and Christmas gifts to a relative’s children, because for ten years, they were never acknowledged.

I did not send a thank you card, nor would I expect one from friends and family.

I did phone/text/email people to thank them for their gifts and for attending the event.

Sending cards is just wasteful. They often aren't recyclable as printed on coated paper, are often impersonal as bulk printed and yet another expense for the bride and groom on top of paying for the whole wedding. Plus stamps are canny expensive now...

Wholly agree with you.

When we got married we requested no gifts and sent thank you cards plus a photo of them at the wedding to say thank you for coming (and for those who still gave us something, we said thank you for the gift). We did this the day after the wedding.

We also got best wishes cards from people who didn't get an invite and they also got a thank you card back.

Going to a wedding costs the guest time and money and it is plain rude of the couple not to acknowledge the effort those guests they have been to. This is especially the case where they have been given a gift.

Recent wedding in the family- thank you notes were sent.

And I have just received one from a different couple thanking us for their wedding gift.

I think like Christmas cards, it’s not the done thing anymore.

I used to love receiving the thank you card and we printed them and sent them also (including for new baby gifts) but I think these days, everything has just become too expensive - cards, stamps, mortgages etc, it’s just another expense that a couple can do without, not to mention time consuming.

A text would be nice but any wedding we’ve been to, they’ve said a heartfelt thank you in their speeches, so I think that probably covers it

We sent thank you cards for our wedding gifts / money gifts and for new baby gifts for each of our 3 dcs. My mum told me a number of relatives were really grateful to receive them, and said they didn’t ever know if their gifts were received anymore as not many people acknowledges them. I think an acknowledgement is polite, whatever the format, email / text is probably more popular now. And less wasteful as mentioned by pp.

So rude. My mum always sent thank you cards, and so do I. It was the way I was brought up. People can often be thoughtless and selfish. I'm sure they're only too happy to spend the money!

Yeah I've not had anything from any of the weddings I've been to which I do think is rude. I don't expect a card, but a text is pretty easy and takes seconds. Last wedding I spent £££ on the hen do, travelling to the wedding, drinks, hotel stay, outfit etc and significant monetary donation (which apart from anything else was through a random donation website so I'd quite like to know that it did get to the couple)...

I got married 5 days ago. All letters sent Wednesday

I haven't been to a wedding for a few years (thankfully) but I would definitely expect a thank you card, although would have no issue with it taking a while. As a minimum I'd definitely expect a text or email.

Do they know your phone number and address, as that’s quite unusual.

I think a thank you is important. I don't send thank you notes if I've been round to someone's for dinner as I can thank them at the time. But if I can't thank someone in person then I think it's good manners to thank them in another way. For wedding gifts I'd expect a thank you note / card and I'd hope it would be personalised. "Thank you for the gift" is nearly as bad as not sending a thank you at all.