What does your autistic child do at infant school lunchtime

[eyesandearsandamouth]

I have been trying to work out if DS has any friends. DS says he plays football at lunchtime or runs around by himself or goes on the climbing frame. My DS is not particularly good at football but loves it, he says he plays against some others he doesn't like much as they are the only ones to play.

I'm in the process of deciding whether to go for an Autism diagnosis, but the teacher says playing football is playing with "friends"'so it's unlikely he's autistic. I'm not sure it is playing, as DS can't do a play superhero game type and pretend with others as he doesn't get it. He can reinact things solo, but I'm confused. If I ask DS he says he doesn't have any friends, but he does like certain people. He doesn't get invited to parties or play dates, but he's very quiet.

There are other children in the class that are diagnosed with ASD and seem to have friendships, so I'm not sure whether the teacher is right or maybe she's not convinced.

my son has ASD and has always had a friendship group. Other than friends what else makes you suspect ASD?

My autistic son plays with other children. That teacher is completely wrong if she thinks that playing with other children means that he is not autistic. If you are at all questioning it, get him evaluated.

You can be ASD and play football in the playground. Discount everything that teacher says if this is the level of knowledge. Have you spoken to the SENCO?

What?

Lots of autistic people play sports. Have you seen what Nadal does with his water bottles?!

Lots of autistic kids are very sociable.

I think you need to read up and ask to speak to the SENCO at the school if you have concerns as this teacher clearly knows NOTHING about autism. Next they'll tell you that your child isn't autistic because they have empathy. 🤣🤣🤣 The ignorance some people still have is astounding (not you OP, just makes me so angry and sad).

The variety has on the spectrum does baffle me

For example, my son doesn't really do anything much at break or lunch. He needs constant supervision, constant flight risk and needs to be closely watched so he doesn't escape, try to hurt someone through lack of communication or do something inappropriate or dangerous like climb up something too high, undress himself, smear

Then I know of another child with autism who does math clubs at lunch and has friends!

The teacher is very uneducated around autism to make a sweeping, stereotypical statement like that.
I do despair that this lack of awareness persists in the people responsible for children in our absence.
Children with autism vary enormously. I know two 6yr olds in the same class, one my GC, and their behaviour, abilities, difficulties and interests are very different to each other.

My son used to walk around the playground on his own for the first few years of primary (quite happily!). He did make a friend in year 5 so played with him then. As a teen at secondary he has a big group of friends and is very social. Playing with others does not rule out ASD!

Yes in year R the teacher was fantastic and said some unusual behaviours ( repetitive, stunning, speech issues) so would refer to senco, as DS had been under senco for speech at nursery. Covid and nothing happened. I kept chasing nothing. This year in year one, the teacher is very defensive about everything, DS never taken on by school senco, as keeping up with learning, so they aren't interested . So I'm thinking I will approach GP without the school onside ?

Stimming, I mean I'm biased but DS is also very stunning too 😊

This sounds like a school that cannot supporr your son tbh, if they have been made aware of his difficulties and are doing nothing whatsoever to support him, 😔 I would tell the SENCO to get their arse in gear or move him. This is NOT ok. That kids who without the right support when older will have emotional problems, and are left to sink or swim until they are drowning with no support. Early help is everything. Do not put up with this OP, it's a disgrace.

The SENCO is not there to "make sure he is keeping up with learning". Their job is to make him comfortable at school so that he is able and ready to learn. From your description they are not doing that. Either they meet his needs or they should suggest another school than can.

My DD (year 3) is autistic. At lunchtime she tends to go to library club which is actually a club for children that struggle socially and she is allowed to choose a classmate to keep her company.
She does have a small group of friends but can be quite possessive and wants to direct everything. At break time When her friends need some space she will often play football with the boys which are seems to enjoy although she ls is coordination and is not very good.
You can have friendships with autism. My DD often misses social cues and I can tell that some of her classmates look at her oddly when she talks about the first thing that comes into her head. She's actually very friendly though and does want friends although after awhile she will need her own space as the effort from interacting with other children seems to wear her out.

I teach year 1 and have a child with diagnosed asd in my class. We do social skills work with them so they have different playtime activities including guided play leading to independent play, Lego club with a small group and purely independent what they want to do play. It does seem to work and choice is important.

My 11 year old is now at an autism school and plays football with his friends every lunch who are all also definitely autistic

My asd child likes to play football as he cant understand imaginary games and football makes sense. There's limited conversation in football so it's easier for him.

Be bitten apparently 😤
He's non-verbal so I have no idea what he's doing, but he's come home twice now with bite marks 😭

I know they are very guarded about the senco at the school. It's very strange. I spoke to another parent and they said the same. I had heard the school was good for SEN, but it's also our only catchment school. But maybe that means it's a little overloaded, so bats away anyone who's not too much trouble. I'll push forward on it.

And sorry for anyone else having issues, it's very hard to know what they really get up to at school.