Making friends at toddler groups

[frazzled101]

I've been going to various toddler groups for about 4 months now, but there is one in particular that I go to every week.

I've never managed to get past exchanging pleasantries.

However earlier this week I did manage to get talking to another mother for the second time and as she has twins I gave her a hand holding the babies.

At the end I decided to be very brave and I gave her my number, and she said she'd text so I had hers but she hasn't.

I feel like it's impossible to get past the initial chat on kids names/ages etc.

So if you made your friends at a toddler group how did you do it?

If it's the same people going every week, I used to offer to set up a WhatsApp group in case anyone wants to meet for coffee after the class. Most people joined and a few even turned up regularly and I made a handful of friends I'm still in touch with from these classes.

It's a game of numbers. You try all the groups in the area, immediately drop the ones that don't have a friendly crowd. Then you go to the friendly ones every single week and talk to whoever is there - also find out what other groups they go to, and let it be known you are actively looking to get out and about. I learnt to look for people who don't have a mother and sisters locally (not motivated to make friends) and people who were going to be on maternity leave for a year like me.

As a PP said, be shameless - playing it cool will get you nowhere.

I was so lonely when my first child was born, I would go to toddler groups for months and still not make friends. In the end I was at the usual Friday group and saw 2 mums sat talking on a picnic table, I plonked myself down. They've been dear friends ever since and I made lots more following that. Just be brave and keep talking!

Tbh I would be a bit put off if someone asked for my number. Unless I'd really really hit it off with someone and we got on like a house on fire. Maybe it's just me? It just feels a bit much

I didn't make friends at toddler group to be perfectly honest. The one I went to when my children were toddlers, I had several other friends from my NCT group going there and their fof. Between catching up with them, keeping an eye on my one or two young ones, and doing a stint in the kitchen washing up/making coffees - I didn't have time to form new friendships.

The wife of an A list actor absolutely hated our toddler group btw! She arrived one week, gave it a week, slagged it off on her social media and never came back. She didnt't seem to understand the concept that most people at toddler groups are there to see friends they already know or, if not, will get to know other people slowly. She thought it was all cliquey and awful and she was far too good for that sort of thing.

Thanks for all the comments, makes me feel a bit better about it.

It's seems like making friends at toddler groups is actually a bit of a myth!

I have tried the apps Mush and peanut but because of where I live there's very few people nearby on it.

I also really struggled to make any friends at toddler groups. I'd try and chat to people but never got past the 'hello/how olds your little one' stage.
I remember once seeing a mum from a playgroup in Tesco once and I said hello. She completely blanked me and I got the message!
I found some mum friends when my son started going to preschool at age 3.5 as the kids played together and it gave the mums more of a chance to chat.

Making friends is easy if you just follow a basic plan.
Always smile, appear to be in a good mood at least. Mums are too tired and busy to deal with resting bitch face no matter how innocent.

Strike up conversation by commenting on something spontaneous, then proceed with that topic. Someone sneezes, smile and say bless you. Then talk about the funniest sneeze you have ever had/heard. Toddler screams, comment their lung capacity.
Ask someone a small favour: could you pass me that cup please?

Always be the one to continue the conversation during those awkward silences. Anything lighthearted will do. Avoid politics, marriage issues, or religion. Stick to fun and easy things.

introduce yourself during the initial conversation by working your basic info into the conversation. such as age, your favourite place to visit, favourite food, favourite plants etc. Something is bound to hit and you will have found some common ground to foster a friendship.

All the mums are there to make new friends. You will be just fine

All the mums are there to make new friends. You will be just fine

Well, in some groups this is true. In other groups (as A580Hojas says above) people arrive in their NCT groups, with no intention of talking to anyone else. I didn't go to those groups twice, but there are plenty of more open groups, and you will find those if you persist OP.

In terms of extending potential friendships beyond the group itself, I found suggesting a 10 minute visit to a nearby toddler playground or cafe directly after the group was the best way forward, and then building on that.