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What did I do wrong here? Driving related

43 replies

AntiqueClock · 11/05/2022 13:27

Happened yesterday but it’s really upset me and been playing on my mind.

I was waiting at a t junction behind 1 car, waiting to pull out onto a main road. The main road has a footpath (not cycle path) running along it, which crosses the side road I was on. The road was busy and the car in front of me took probably a minute to pull out. I stopped well back with plenty of room between my car and the car in front.

As I was sitting there waiting a cyclist came belting up the footpath to my right and slammed on his brakes (so didn’t cross the side road). He then sat back on his bike looking angry and rolling his eyes (at me I think) but didn’t attempt to cross the side road- he could have gone in front or behind me to cross.

Eventually the car in front of me pulled out but as I pulled off, the cyclist went behind my car and thumped it really hard, making me stop again. I could see him hitting my car and swearing at me in my rear view mirror before cycling off.

By this point I was quite shaken but pulled off and joined the main road, turning left so going in the same direction of the cyclist (still on the footpath). As I drove on, traffic was slow and he pulled along side me again and was trying to hit my car, shouting and swearing at me. Eventually, traffic sped up and I pulled away from him and he gave me a ‘salute’ followed by the middle finger.

What did I do wrong? I consider myself an experience, competent driver but I have no idea what he took exception to. He could easily have crossed the road I was on, I wasn’t blocking him and he shouldn’t have been on the footpath anyway. His anger and the fact he was hitting my car really shook me.

OP posts:
ThatPosterIsSoRight · 11/05/2022 13:32

My initial thought was that it must have been mistaken identity - a car similar to you having cut him up shortly before. But you’re coming from different directions so that sounds unlikely.

He must have thought you didn’t leave enough space for him to cross the road, or something about your position in the road he objected to.

Assume he was having a bad day and don’t worry about it (I would also over-think this situation so I know how you must feel!).

SoupDragon · 11/05/2022 13:42

I think the only thing you did wrong was to encounter a Twat. They come in many forms. Given you were stationary and had left a gap I really can't see what you did wrong.

Courante · 11/05/2022 13:46

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong at all.

He shouldn't have been cycling on the pavement and sounds like a really unpleasant person who cannot control his temper (I dare say he does this kind of thing on at least a weekly basis and in his head thinks he is right).

nearlyspringyay · 11/05/2022 13:47

You met a twat.

Lockheart · 11/05/2022 13:52

If this happened exactly as you say, he was obviously just a twat.

Topseyt123 · 11/05/2022 13:57

You simply encountered an arse. Give it no more headspace.

FT96 · 11/05/2022 14:02

Doesn't sound like you done anything wrong at all. As others have said clearly encountered a twat of a cyclist!

Catrice · 11/05/2022 14:03

You did nothing wrong. He however, did. He hit your car, intimidated you and swore at you. He sounds like a nasty piece of work who needs reporting. As others have said, give it no more headspace. X

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 11/05/2022 14:10

Entirely your fault. He is Lord Mamil and you WBU for interrupting his illegal use of the footpath by not using your psychic powers to leave the road entirely free for him. And how dare you pull ahead of him when driving parallel? Luckily he was magnanimous enough to show you the error of your ways. I think you should make a public apology on Facebook right now.

Although it could just be that he's a twat.

Neverreturntoathread · 11/05/2022 14:16

You’re a female driver who was in the car alone, I’m guessing? Similar crap has happened to me a few times. Basically you encountered a mentally unstable ‘alpha-male’ (aka arrogant misogynistic narcissist) who decided to bully you to make himself feel more powerful. Please don’t question yourself or your driving, this was all about him, not you.

Get a dashcam sometime as this won’t be the last such freak you meet sadly.

Neverreturntoathread · 11/05/2022 14:18

It’s the same psychological phenomenon as this guy.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-44639208.amp

Georgeskitchen · 11/05/2022 14:18

And cyclists wonder why motorists don't like them!!!

purpleboy · 11/05/2022 14:18

I get everyone saying he was a twat, and I fully agree from the sounds of it you did nothing wrong, but what could he be objecting too? People generally aren't twats for no reason, usually something kicks it off, what could he possibly have taken offense from in this scenario?

PeppoPigg · 11/05/2022 14:19

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. He was probably in a rush trying to beat his strava time and failing so just took it out on you.

AntiqueClock · 11/05/2022 14:21

I was worried there was something in the highway code that said you can't stop at a t junction and block people from crossing etc, although I wasn't blocking anything but wasn't sure if I'd missed an obvious faux pas.

I did think at the time he was just an angry idiot, but then usually I can see why they are annoyed, even if they are not justified for being annoyed IYSWIM. He seemed furious over me literally being just being in front of him though.

He wasn't a 'MAMIL' cyclist anyway, not a lycra bound speed demon, just an average guy in his early 20s on a bike (no helmet), I live in a student area so I assumed student.

OP posts:
HappilyHadesBound · 11/05/2022 14:21

I would say the only things you did wrong were not having a dash cam and not giving us a diagram 😁

AntiqueClock · 11/05/2022 14:22

purpleboy · 11/05/2022 14:18

I get everyone saying he was a twat, and I fully agree from the sounds of it you did nothing wrong, but what could he be objecting too? People generally aren't twats for no reason, usually something kicks it off, what could he possibly have taken offense from in this scenario?

This is where I was coming from, I just can't think of anything! I put as much detail in my OP as I could.

OP posts:
chisanunian · 11/05/2022 14:22

Unless your car was straddling a 'keep clear' box or some other obvious crossing point and you pulled into the space having already seen him and knew he was there, then you were completely in the right and he was a total git.

Even if you had been in the wrong, he had absolutely no right to do what he did to you.

This new law has turned MAMILs' behaviour into a whole new level of arseholery.

blahblah81 · 11/05/2022 14:23

The only thing you could have done to provoke such a reaction is nearly run him over but since you were coming from different ways that's not possible.
I'm sure it's because you were a female driving alone. Chances are another male driver had put him in his place for something unrelated before you seen him so he wanted to get some "big man points" back by being aggressive with you.

AntiqueClock · 11/05/2022 14:23

Neverreturntoathread · 11/05/2022 14:16

You’re a female driver who was in the car alone, I’m guessing? Similar crap has happened to me a few times. Basically you encountered a mentally unstable ‘alpha-male’ (aka arrogant misogynistic narcissist) who decided to bully you to make himself feel more powerful. Please don’t question yourself or your driving, this was all about him, not you.

Get a dashcam sometime as this won’t be the last such freak you meet sadly.

Yes, this did cross my mind. I also drive a nice (company provided) 4x4 (live on a farm, have horses and require a towbar).

OP posts:
MarvellousMay · 11/05/2022 14:24

Could you have done something prior to where you had stopped and he caught you up? So cut him up earlier or similar and he chased after you?

AntiqueClock · 11/05/2022 14:27

MarvellousMay · 11/05/2022 14:24

Could you have done something prior to where you had stopped and he caught you up? So cut him up earlier or similar and he chased after you?

No, we arrived at the junction from completely different directions. No stop/keep clear box or road markings at all

OP posts:
Useranon1 · 11/05/2022 14:48

Were you stopped over the footpath?

BundtCake · 11/05/2022 14:52

Don’t give it another thought, no need for all this analysis, I’m sure he certainly isn’t!

Leftbutcameback · 11/05/2022 14:56

By footpath do you mean pavement @AntiqueClock? I was a bit confused by that.

Agree it makes no sense!