Do you like the idea of ringing a bell leaving hospital after a long time?

[EachandEveryone]

Am I being miserable as it’s a baby ward after all? They are bringing it in for babies that leave after having long stays. Most parents can’t wait to get out the door I just think it’s one more thing to ask them to do. I’ve always associated it with the end of treatment for cancer. Is it a general thing now?

It's a horrible idea. What if the patient leaves, but then goes downhill and dies.

Absolutely tasteless on NICU. I was lucky, my child was early but not unwell. One of the mum's couldn't even look at me when I left and I don't blame her, her child was in a very bad way and an operation meant to fix the problem had just failed. I knew two parents whose children died and I was only there for 2 weeks. Being able to leave with my child was enough, I got well wishes from staff and receptionist.

This is an awful idea for all the parents that don't get to take a baby home after their long stay :(

And it reminds me of miller and Carter where they ring the bell to reward the chef when a compliment is received!

I think its dreadful anywhere. I really hate the TV advert

At virtually every oncology unit up and down the Country. Although I disagree with it, I had breast cancer and there was no way I was ringing any bloody bells.

I really dislike it. A relative's DC has cancer diagnosed in infancy and has been in and out of hospital for increasingly invasive treatments pretty much their whole life. They are now receiving palliative care. My relative has heard that bell ring hundreds of times over the years and the child is now old enough to understand the meaning - and that they will never get to ring it. It doesn't give them hope, as for them, there is none. And whilst of course they wish no ill to others, and are pleased that other children recover, it is a very hard thing to celebrate when you know your own child is not going to get better. I think it is well meant, but badly thought out.

No sorry I think it’s inappropriate and probably not fair on the other patients there. I rang the chemo bell after I finished mine but for kids unless it’s cancer it shouldn’t be allowed.

My husband had no more chemo when it stopped working. Fuck all bells and fuck the horse they rode in on.

There was a been to ring after your last radiotherapy treatment at our hospital. I did ring it but it did feel like I was saying to the other patients in the waiting room nahnahnahnahnah. I'm going and never coming back, sorry you've got to keep going, as that's how it felt every time I heard the bell ring. Could imagine it feeling even worse when it's your tiny babies life you're thinking about. Does feel a little insensitive, however by that point we'd got to know the receptionists s little, and the bell was in their area so was hard to say no when they asked if was going to ring it.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Haven’t been in this situation but my first thought was how insensitive to those that know they aren’t going to be ringing that bell.

I do know a long term adult cancer patient who really liked the bell on her ward as it gave her hope and a sense that this will end - but I’m not sure I agree and on a baby ward it seems particularly bizarre and kinda mean to the babies sensitive hearing!

Lloyds of London ring a bell whenever a ship sinks / similar big disaster. I associate bells more with death. Isn’t there an old saying about ‘for whom the bell tolls’ and its not a good thing?

Also they'd let my son find in for the last treatment so he could see what I meant when I talked about the table I had to lie on that was hurting my back and the mask they fitted over my face that made me feel very trapped. They also let him look at all the computers etc they used. So to not ring it when he was there to celebrate last treatment with us wouldn't have felt right. He went through a lot during the course of my treatment, the look on his face when we really this big noisy bell, that you could do that in hospital! Was worth it. If it's something you want to do it does give you an I've done it feeling, it was tough but I got through

It's a bloody horrible idea on the cancer ward too.
One friend rang the bell and has now died of cancer and the other one rang it and is now terminal.
It's false.

Its by John Donne and not very cheerful. No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

The Lutine Bell at Lloyds rings for both good and bad news
www.lloyds.com/about-lloyds/history/catastophes-and-claims/hms-lutine

I don't like the idea at all. I would think parents would rather acknowledge getting their child home privately and it's insensitive for the others.
I've recently finished "active" treatment for breast cancer and there was no bell in the chemo unit. Even if there was, I'd have felt a bit odd ringing it. The staff did clap when I had my last radiotherapy which was slightly awkward but there was only me and 3 of them in the room.

I’m sorry his treatment didn’t work. It doesn’t always sadly.

Exactly. My mum refused to ring it when she got the "all clear" at the beginning of March 2020....by the end of March 2020 she died of covid. Ringing that bell would have been a complete waste of time in the end.

I remember hearing about someone doing it after palliative treatment for a brain tumor that was likely to return in a year and thought it seemed rather odd. I mean whatever floats your boat but you're not always going to be feeling triumphant in that situation.

I must clarify the exit is nowhere near where the sick babies are. It’s by reception near where families stay before their babies are discharged.

i still don’t like the idea though.

Terrible idea. DD was in NICU for 3 months. When we took her home we had no idea what the future would hold. The last thing we would have wanted to do was ring some bloody bell.

But is it anywhere that a parent visiting their very sick baby might pass on their way in/out?

I don't like the idea of the bell for the end of treatment either. There are so many people who will never get to ring the thing. It must be very hard for parents if those children to see other families ringing it.

@Neverreturntoathread
"Therefore, send no to know, for who the bell atoll. It tolls for thee.

John Donne. No man is an island.

I rang it for my twins in SCBU - encouraged by other parents I might add - when the twins were in NICU there wasn't a bell - there is a difference between having a bell in NICU and SCBU. It called intensive care for a reason - very very poorly babies wouldn't be on SCBU - babies on SCBU are low dependency and it's just a last step before being discharged so I don't see an issue with it there personally

That what I think I explained it would be at the exit at the end where the babies stay before they go home but yes other parents will pass by. Where you at a hospital in the UK?