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Original poster

How on earth can I solve this?

6 replies

LaBeteEtLaBete · 10/05/2022 12:21

I work in a family business, my boss is a family member and I’m really struggling with the workload I’m being given and general vibe.

  • The boss is handing over projects to me, but then is dipping in and out and not communicating any updates with me, leaving me in the dark.
  • When I have questions, I get very very vague answers that leave me just as clueless as I started.
  • I have deadlines approaching that HAVE to be met or a hell of a lot of people will be let down and I’ll be faced with huge stress over the next few months.
  • When I do manage to highlight issues or things that need to be changed in order for me to function or for the job to get done, I’m completely and utterly ignored.

How do I go about this? I feel like my brain is a massive fog. I have poor organisational skills and find it VERY difficult to have conversations with my boss/family member.

Please, no advice of “leave the company”, “get a different job” etc. I love my job, I have every intention of remaining exactly where I am, my goal is to take over one part of the business (that I love). I need advice on how to solve this situation rather than walk away from it.

A big part of the problem is me - I’m disorganised and unfocused, always have been but am trying very hard to change, however, that just means I end up doing the work I need to do, but doing it in an unorganised fashion and being confused about it all.

Before anyone asks:

  • No HR department I can talk to about this, it is a VERY small company.

OP posts:
GiltEdges · 10/05/2022 12:42

I work in a family business, my boss is a family member

Do you mean they're a family member of yours or they're a family member of the business owner? Very different dynamics depending which it is.

When I have questions, I get very very vague answers that leave me just as clueless as I started.

This is on you I'm afraid. If you're determined to stick it out, then you need to learn to be more direct in asking for what you need. Put some time in the diary whenever there are questions you need to run through. If the response is vague, then you say "Thanks, but that doesn't quite tell me what I need to know. Can you clarify X" and so on.

parietal · 10/05/2022 12:45

how much project management / planning is there? it is hard to answer when I have no clue of what type of project you work on in terms of timeline / budget etc. but would it be good to have a massive wall calendar with all the project steps & deadlines set out, so that you & boss can always see the progress & tick things off as they happen? Or the equivalent in software if you are online.

Original poster
LaBeteEtLaBete · 10/05/2022 13:16

GiltEdges · 10/05/2022 12:42

I work in a family business, my boss is a family member

Do you mean they're a family member of yours or they're a family member of the business owner? Very different dynamics depending which it is.

When I have questions, I get very very vague answers that leave me just as clueless as I started.

This is on you I'm afraid. If you're determined to stick it out, then you need to learn to be more direct in asking for what you need. Put some time in the diary whenever there are questions you need to run through. If the response is vague, then you say "Thanks, but that doesn't quite tell me what I need to know. Can you clarify X" and so on.

My boss is my family member - difficult dynamic!

"This is on you I'm afraid." I know, it really really is and I'm trying to change it. I've been a lot better at asserting myself with other people over the past few years, but I always clam up when it comes to family.

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Original poster
LaBeteEtLaBete · 10/05/2022 13:17

parietal · 10/05/2022 12:45

how much project management / planning is there? it is hard to answer when I have no clue of what type of project you work on in terms of timeline / budget etc. but would it be good to have a massive wall calendar with all the project steps & deadlines set out, so that you & boss can always see the progress & tick things off as they happen? Or the equivalent in software if you are online.

It's quite a lot and involves getting a bunch of other people organised as well, so can become quite stressful unless there's a solid system in place - this is contributing to the issue, there isn't just one system in place, there are loads and we're having to do a LOT of cross-referencing. I'm working on changing all of that at the moment.

OP posts:
BocolateChiscuits · 10/05/2022 13:46

For the communication with your boss/family member, can you experiment with it to find a way that suits them - e.g. try a list of questions and a cafe, or try first thing in the morning, or try by email, or try an evening phone call. By hook or by crook it's vital you get that info out of their head, so you'll just have to be creative.

For the organisation bit, I've found that although I'm a disorganised type of personality, I can emulate being an organised person when I have decided I want to - like an actor playing the part of an organised person.

Because I'm not naturally organised I do it by putting systems in place to make it idiot proof. And there are so many systems on the internet. Stuff like time blocking, time tracking, Trello boards, Todoist, 'getting things done', routine and habit development.

For the rest of your life you can go back to being a disorganised person (far more fun!), but for this one little bit, you'll just need to fake organisation (which happily works just as well as real organisation).

Original poster
LaBeteEtLaBete · 12/05/2022 13:07

BocolateChiscuits · 10/05/2022 13:46

For the communication with your boss/family member, can you experiment with it to find a way that suits them - e.g. try a list of questions and a cafe, or try first thing in the morning, or try by email, or try an evening phone call. By hook or by crook it's vital you get that info out of their head, so you'll just have to be creative.

For the organisation bit, I've found that although I'm a disorganised type of personality, I can emulate being an organised person when I have decided I want to - like an actor playing the part of an organised person.

Because I'm not naturally organised I do it by putting systems in place to make it idiot proof. And there are so many systems on the internet. Stuff like time blocking, time tracking, Trello boards, Todoist, 'getting things done', routine and habit development.

For the rest of your life you can go back to being a disorganised person (far more fun!), but for this one little bit, you'll just need to fake organisation (which happily works just as well as real organisation).

You're a genius! This has actually helped me a bit, thank you so much!

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