Is it okay for DC to have peanut butter for breakfast?

[TwentyOneTwentyTwo]

I took my son to nursery today and as I was saying bye I mentioned in passing that he'd got peanut butter in his hair this morning. The teacher seemed worried and asked if it was still in there. I said no, maybe there's a tiny bit. I'd got it all off but hadn't washed his hair. She said it's probably fine it's just she had a nut allergy. As I was walking back though, I thought maybe it's irresponsible to give him peanut butter in the morning? He has it every morning really and now I'm worried he could make someone ill. How much should I worry about it? I have no idea how much allergen is on him. And even on a bus or in a shop or something it could hurt someone maybe. I guess it's more concerning for a toddler because they are such messy eaters, it could be anywhere on him really.

louisa I haven't 'missed your point'. I don't agree with you. There is a difference. OP's nursery is not nut free, she wasn't even aware a member of staff had an allergy.

Yes and the thread is asking whether she should avoid giving peanut butter now she knows someone has an allergy to it

I'd also be very surprised if a nursery isn't nut free. All nurseries and schools I've ever come across have been nut free.

But, as Baskin has pointed out, it simply isn't realistic to expect every other parent of school age children to remember never to give them anything containing nuts before school. Peanut butter might be easy, but there are so many other things containing nuts. I'm not trying to be obstinate, it just genuinely concerns me that 'nut free' settings are relying on a whole set of parents who, quite frankly, I wouldn't trust to look after my cat, never mind such a serious topic as dangerous nut allergy.

Yes a few will forget now and then, but that’s quite different from having no expectation at all and not even trying because you can’t be arsed to care about another person.

No nuts for brekkie or in a pack lunch isn’t that hard of a rule to remember FFS. It’s an easier rule to remember than the myriad of uniform rules most schools have and most parents have no problems getting their children into an acceptable uniform every day. And it might save someone’s life.

Yeah well don't tell me, tell the dozens of parents who can't seem to manage basic uniform requirements, getting their kids to school on time, or at all, or the ones being looked after by grandparents, or in care. All I'm saying is, if you have a child with severe allergies, you are placing a lot of responsibility on other children's parents to keep your child safe. I don't know what the answer is-a very robust plan in case of emergency I suspect, as Baskin has suggested

It’s just reducing the risk though isn’t it?
If someone has an allergy, and 30 children are asked not to bring nut products, then there’s a good chance all or just a few might bring who can’t be bothered or forget. With no notice, everyone could bring nuts.

Why are you having a go at me! I said that if I knew someone had an allergy to something, I'd refrain from eating or doing whatever caused it when I was around them. But as long as peanuts are legal, I'll carry on eating them in my own home
Seriously, what have I said wrong??! 🤷

PS, yes my allergy could kill me in an enclosed space but is highly unlikely to because outside I can move away. And I've also said all this before as well.

We don't give it at breakfast because my kids go to school with children with extreme nut allergies but otherwise there is nothing 'wrong' with it.

Its not massively healthy but no worse than chocolate spread or jam. IMO

When DS1 was younger he had a child with a nut allergy in his class and we stopped peanut butter for breakfast. We weren't asked to but it seemed like an easy adjustment.

Little update, gave my son cheese instead this morning. He was only slightly disappointed he wasn't having peanut butter with cheese. And when dropping him off I asked the teacher if she had been okay and she said she was. And I let her know he hadn't had any peanut butter.

Thank you for all the replies explaining things a bit more for me. It's a really horrible thing to have to live with, especially I imagine when it's your child. It's not hard for us to give up peanut butter at breakfast and I feel a lot better knowing that I'm not adding to the difficulty of anyone's peanut allergy. But I can also understand it might be more difficult for children with food issues to swap or delay a certain type of food.

And thanks for the imagery of back passing my son to the teacher, perhaps a handy technique for when I'm running late 😂

Glad that's it sorted and I am sure the teacher appreciated you letting her know too.

No nuts for brekkie or in a pack lunch isn’t that hard of a rule to remember FFS

My aunt served a pudding with 'lactose free milk' in it to my CMPA son, my MIL couldn't remember what she could and couldn't serve to a neighbour with coeliac's disease, my DHs workmates kept forgetting they couldn't take anything to work with nuts in because one of their officemates had a severe reaction (DH started going through the 'snack table' everyday and binning all the nut containing products before they were opened). I don't know about the workmates but both my MIL and aunt have cared for people with different allergies from the one they were confused by. Most people struggle with remembering about allergies that don't affect them, it's not malicious. In fact, I have TWICE made nutella containing cakes for a school bake sale before remembering they couldn't be taken to school because DD had a boy in her class with a severe allergy (we obviously kept the cakes at home).

Anyway, I'll put my scientist hat on. Peanut allergies have become more common in this country partly because mothers were told to avoid peanut products during pregnancy and have also delayed introducing peanuts to their children. Nut free nurseries and schools exacerbates this problem, children aren't exposed to peanuts at a young age and so are more likely to go on to develop an allergy. Israel has peanut oil in baby food and they have some of the lowest incidences of peanut allergy in the world. As people have repeated on this thread it is possible to have life threatening allergies to various allergens, but the foreign peanut is viewed as more suspicious than milk and eggs.