The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands.
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other...........
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: You look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty quid
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What the hell have you done all day?
SAFER:! I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that dressing gown!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.