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Daughter has a teacher picking on her.

27 replies

Jobhelpplease · 09/05/2022 13:46

Looking for a bit of advance on how to deal with my daughter’s Latin teacher.

DD is in Y8 and a shy and polite (to her teachers anyway) child and does very well at school. We have just had parents evening and she is excelling in most subjects and most importantly is nice person to have in class though interestingly we couldn’t get Latin teacher.

DD took up Latin as her 2nd language as a bit of tester for GCSE and while enjoyed it at first quite quickly decided wasn’t for her as didn’t seem to be doing very well, she has made a few comments over the last year that she doesn’t like the way her teacher teaches, no discussion or time to question, just listen and then get on with the work. Neither myself or DH took Latin at school and just presumed it’s the way it is taught and subject isn’t for her, fair enough.

DD has been coming home from school the last few weeks really down and said Latin is starting to upset her and that the teacher is constantly picking on her.

She gives out stickers for work, and DD is yet to have one regardless of doing the same work and coming to the same answers/results.

DD said she was working as part of a team of 4 and when they showed their combined work Latin teacher awarded all 3 other girls a sticker but left DD out, DD said it was really awkward as teacher was literally leaning across her to stick them the other girls books.

on Friday DD has sports at lunch Latin and then rushes to catch her bus, she had waited until their was 15 minutes to go and asked if she could quickly nip to the toilet as didn’t have time before bus came and teacher had made it feel awful not giving her an answer just asking DD “What do you want me to say” and shaking her head, DD said she really didn’t know what she meant so repeated the question again and was told she would have a behaviour mark if the rudeness continued, DD had her period, though didn’t feel confident to say so in front of her class and teacher.

On top of all this is constant tutting, eye rolling and blaming her for any noise that is made in class, so much so that a few of the other girls have made off hand comments along the lines of what have you done to make Mrs Latin hate you so much.

just so not to drip feed the teacher is French. I’m not sure that excuses belittling or picking on young girls but I do wonder if there is a bit of miscommunication and teachers tone may be harsher than what DD is used to.

DD really was dreading school today so definitely need to do something about it. In this instance would you arrange telephone appointment with Latin teacher or would you go to head of year? I’m fairly furious on DD’s behalf but don’t want to go in quite constructively so wondering how to go about it.

OP posts:
ChateauMargaux · 09/05/2022 13:49

Ask for a one to one meeting with the teacher citing the fact that you missed out at parents evening... take it from there... ask about behaviour, work etc..

Kat1953 · 09/05/2022 13:50

I had a french teacher singling me out at school, even my classmates would comment on it. Like your dd I was quiet, studious and got good grades. My mum arranged a face to face meeting with her after school. I waited outside the classroom so I know it was civilised but don't know what on earth my mum said, only that said teacher transformed her behaviour to me afterwards!

So I recommend a face to face meeting to get to the bottom of it and if things don't radically change, then I wouldn't hesitate in reporting and making a formal complaint.

MarJau26 · 09/05/2022 13:51

I would speak to the teacher and gauge what her attitude and remarks are. I think you need to let her know your dd is upset about a few things and if there is an issue. The fact that other kids have noticed means it's definitely happening.

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Maireas · 09/05/2022 13:51

I think the best way forward is to speak to the year manager and explain your daughter's concerns. They will bring it up with the Latin teacher and get back to you. Cite the examples provided on here.

PerfectPrepPrincess · 09/05/2022 13:51

There are always 2 sides to a story.

Maireas · 09/05/2022 13:52

Is this a private girls' school?.

Jobhelpplease · 09/05/2022 14:12

It’s a girls grammar school.

Thanks for all the feedback sounds like the best way forward is to arrange an appointment with teacher.

I guess I could take the approach that she only has to put up with her for less than a term before the summer and then subject drop but I think I’m too cross fo leave it.

OP posts:
Maireas · 09/05/2022 14:15

Yes, you're right to pursue it. Ask the teacher about DD's progress, then engagement in activities, and raise your concerns.

fuckoffImcounting · 09/05/2022 14:16

My DC was picked on by one teacher. DH and I went to see her, we were very nice - just asked if she new why DC was coming home in tears. She stopped picking on my kid straight away.

PAFMO · 09/05/2022 14:17

Definitely speak to the teacher first.

Innocenta · 09/05/2022 14:19

Oh, poor DD! Bullying by a teacher is horrible. I think you're absolutely right to want to act on it, even though there's not much of the year left. It must still seem like a long time to a child in year 8.

duvetdayforeveryone · 09/05/2022 14:22

No advice but I had a geography teacher that truly despised me! Before one lesson I could not find my text book. I searched everywhere. At the beginning of the lesson I had to tell her that I couldn't find it, and she spent ages screaming at me 😢She then told me my punishment was detention and my parents would have to pay for a new text book. During the lesson I was so very upset, until the geography teacher dropped her text book... and it had my name in it 😮I had not lost my text book, she had stolen it 😡She told me it was my fault as I should have looked after the book better, and I still received a detention... for her stealing my book 🙄

Moral of the story... some teachers really should not be teachers!!!

Theunamedcat · 09/05/2022 14:23

Yes speak to the teacher it might not work though dds math teacher was a petty petty man in parents evening he pulled out her book and informed me in grim tones that she had failed to put the date on her homework on "several occasions" over the last two years I honestly laughed at him her homework was correct it was just her failing to pick one date out of three that meant she was going to fail at life completely for context she has suspected autism and failed to pick a date because she took three days to complete it and got hung up on WHICH date to put in the date she started? the date she finished? The date she was given it?

autienotnaughty · 09/05/2022 14:39

Definitely talk to teacher and if no success the head. The teacher is being unfair and as they are in a position of power your dc can't defend herself.

BearFacedCheekGrylls · 09/05/2022 14:49

I had a music teacher bully me at school, it does happen. In my case my head of year found me in tears, dragged it out of me and then put a stop to it.

it sounds like there is only one term left so I wouldn’t hesitate to have a chat with the teacher and see if you can improve the situation for your daughter.

Jobhelpplease · 09/05/2022 15:51

I’ve phoned the school and asked to be advised on which route and now waiting on telephone call from DD head of house...

Wish me luck, I hate confrontation and am either too direct and grumpy or a bit off a wallflower!!

OP posts:
Maireas · 09/05/2022 16:19

Well, you're not going to be confrontational, you're just going to express concern about the learning environment for your child. I hope it goes well.

Sapphirensteel · 09/05/2022 16:31

Write down what you want to get across. A few notes always help.
write down what you are told, if possible.
Good luck.

HopBamPop · 09/05/2022 16:44

How did it go @Jobhelpplease ?
Horrible when this sort of thing happens. I hope the situation get resolved. Your poor dd and nasty, spiteful teacher.

superplumb · 09/05/2022 19:03

Have a 1 to 1. Write down the issues raised by your daughter. I was bullied horribly by an old witch English teacher. God she was vile

pointythings · 09/05/2022 19:52

Happened to DD1 - she talked to her form tutor, who arranged a quiet lesson observation from the head of department, who had a quiet word. It never happened again, DD never had that teacher again.

KatherineJaneway · 09/05/2022 19:57

Please do address this.

A teacher I had in primary school absolutely hated me. Took every opportunity to pick on me and he made my life a misery. I honestly was a polite, nice child but he made my life miserable. I had no idea why he hated me.

TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 09/05/2022 20:05

I experienced bullying from a teacher, both in primary and secondary school, my mum took the head on approach and very directly told the teacher it would not be tolerated. My oldest DS experienced bullying from a teacher in primary 3 (Y2) and I went straight to the head teacher about it, he spoke directly to the teacher and also sat in on any meetings/parents evenings we had with her from then on, she was put on a PIP and we never had trouble with her again. Look at how miserable this has made your DS, to the point she thinks Latin isn't for her, it might have been with a different teacher, which is incredibly sad. These sorts of memories stick with kids, I know mine did and my son still remembers --shudders 4 years later, at the memory of how he was treated.

TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 09/05/2022 20:06

YOur DD, not DS 🤦🏼‍♀️

itsgettingweird · 09/05/2022 20:15

My ds had this but a science teacher.

I had an excellent relationship with ds HOY so just asked him to investigate what was going on as ds had gone from science being his best and favourite subject to hating it and the teacher saying he'd be lucky to pass.

Anyway - long story short it turned out she was picking on him. (She did something that dropped herself in it!) and he was moved teachers.

He loved the subject and got 9/9 in his gcse.

I smiled smugly at her when we got his results!

So I'd say go for a meeting but with someone neutral. If you speak to the teacher you it's get another side of a story and she won't admit to treating her differently. Someone neutral can find out and form an unbiased opinion.

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