Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Working with someone with a chronic illness

141 replies

thatsalliknowsofar · 08/05/2022 21:00

If you work with someone with a chronic illness which can affect their work - fatigue, more days off sick, time off for hospital appointments would you be annoyed and feel as if they are a waste of a colleague?

OP posts:
Chiefofstaff · 08/05/2022 22:53

It depends how often they’d need to be off work, for how long and what the extent of the necessary adjustments were.

I took very early retirement as I wouldn’t have wanted to add so much stress to colleagues with all the time off I would have needed, all the hospital appointments I have to go to and sometimes being a lot slower to complete tasks than I wanted to be. I’ve suffered financially because of this decision and have very little money at the end of each month for anything nice. But not having the pressure to try work when I was feeling awful, the guilt at all the time off and sensing the resentment of colleagues who had to pick up the slack, was worth the massive drop in income and being able to rest when I am in pain and exhausted.

Sittingonabench · 08/05/2022 23:01

Of course not but there does need to be a reasonable balance to ensure that work isn’t impacted. Finding the optimum hours, working pattern and workload is best for all parties. Sometimes that is difficult and requires a level of honesty which is difficult

MrOllivander · 08/05/2022 23:07

I declared my condition at interview
My only adjustments are time off for appointments - that's 1 every 3 months, and now they're telephone ones so I take 10 mins off work to take it. And I have a higher sickness trigger for meetings/disciplinary etc because I'm immunocompromised
Am constantly tired and work FT but there isn't any other option

Frolicinameadow · 08/05/2022 23:11

grapewines · 08/05/2022 21:05

No, because I'm not a cunt.

Exactly this

Dipsydoodlenoodle · 08/05/2022 23:18

thatsalliknowsofar · 08/05/2022 21:00

If you work with someone with a chronic illness which can affect their work - fatigue, more days off sick, time off for hospital appointments would you be annoyed and feel as if they are a waste of a colleague?

Its a difficult one. I worked with someone who was the same...in the 2 years we were in the office together I don't think she actually did a full week. I love her has a friend, but as a colleague I hated her. She was made redundant during lockdown...

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 08/05/2022 23:22

I have a chronic illness which means I need to juggle hours weekly for doctor and hospital appointments.

Thankfully my colleagues aren't utter dicks.

HTH

Mollymoo67 · 08/05/2022 23:39

Some people on here don't appear to have read the OP's second post.

OP, I have a chronic illness myself and I think it's disgusting you've been made to feel that way. Ableism really is still rife in the workplace. Angry

Hazelnut32 · 08/05/2022 23:45

I have bipolar disorder, work full time and stopped disclosing any disability years ago after being directly discriminated against. I did sue them (represented myself while working full time elsewhere) but it was a long and stressful process I'd prefer not to repeat.

Back when I did disclose at jobs, I found I was still always expected to cover multiple people's workloads on top of my own while they were off on long term sick leave, usually for 'stress.'

I only take two or so sick days every year. It honestly bothers me that resilience is effectively punished at many companies.

I met someone with MS who didn't disclose for similar reasons. There are plenty of secretly disabled people at work who tend to get extra worked dumped on them when someone goes off for months.

HerRoyalNotness · 08/05/2022 23:51

No I wouldn’t. I’m more worried about just getting on with work myself.

i now have a chronic illness with fatigue as a symptom and have Just found a part time job which is amazing but I’m still knackered and wondering how I’ll cope long term. I’m sure it will be ok, until they expect me to go full time which there is no way I’ll be able to do (also finishing a degree)

TheMooch · 08/05/2022 23:55

I have a chronic illness. Appointments are frequent, I have had 3 days in the last 2 years off sick due my chronic illness. It would probably be more but my director isn't a dick so I don't get stressed about juggling work/illness. Just knowing he's got my back makes life easier.

They know I will get projects done. It might not be in official work hours but I deliver and do it well.

It's really shit having a chronic illness. I'll be dead by the time I am.60. TBH my collegues don't know. They can think what they want/judge away. Because I know I juggle work/home/children pretty damn well and my illness does not define me.

Gilead · 09/05/2022 00:04

People with long term conditions/disabilities can’t win. Our benefits are being cut but people don’t want to take the risk of either employing us or working with us.

I’m actually retired but your able bodied ten minutes shower takes me about forty minutes, that’s before work. However (in my niche and specific field) I would have been able to do a lot of the work the previous evening, meaning should I have needed to leave early I could fully brief the team before leaving. We do have value.

Hazelnut32 · 09/05/2022 00:14

As an additional point, what really bothers me is when people openly get signed off for 'stress' because they fundamentally can't do the job they were hired for.

Do yourself, your coworkers and the company a favour by finding a more suitable role instead.

When people 'milk' the system this way, it's much harder for genuinely disabled people to get hired.

XenoBitch · 09/05/2022 00:16

Hazelnut32 · 09/05/2022 00:14

As an additional point, what really bothers me is when people openly get signed off for 'stress' because they fundamentally can't do the job they were hired for.

Do yourself, your coworkers and the company a favour by finding a more suitable role instead.

When people 'milk' the system this way, it's much harder for genuinely disabled people to get hired.

How and why do you know your co-workers get signed off with stress?
You should not be given that much information.
I have been signed off with "stress" and it was not that at all. Other co-workers were also signed off with it... in their case it was a bipolar manic episode.

MardyOldGoth · 09/05/2022 00:22

As someone with a chronic illness, this is what we all fear. The judgement and the resentment. Of course, if we don't work and claim sickness benefits we get judged for that too. If only we tried harder and made our illnesses disappear to stop them from inconveniencing others, but unfortunately we just don't want to be well!

Gingernaut · 09/05/2022 00:23

It depends

If they look after themselves and adhere to whatever regime they have to in order to remain healthy - No.

If they have a chronic illness or condition and do nothing to look after themselves - Yes

I've worked with smokers with chronic lung conditions, a super morbidly obese, Type II diabetic who had family multipacks of crisps under her desk and someone on heavy pain killers who routinely blotto-d herself with booze.

They were forever going off sick and drove me nuts - as I had no caring responsibilities, lived alone and quite close, I was the one who was asked to cover at short notice.

Hazelnut32 · 09/05/2022 00:26

XenoBitch · 09/05/2022 00:16

How and why do you know your co-workers get signed off with stress?
You should not be given that much information.
I have been signed off with "stress" and it was not that at all. Other co-workers were also signed off with it... in their case it was a bipolar manic episode.

Show quote history

I have a friend (former coworker) who was openly signed off with stress since "we get six months fully paid sick leave, so might as well use it. There's nothing wrong with me."

Sadly that attitude is not uncommon.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 09/05/2022 00:28

I have MS. I have the best attendance record in my team over several years.

lameasahorse · 09/05/2022 00:30

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

AlasEarwacs · 09/05/2022 00:52

@lameasahorse her previous post said she's the one who is off

HeArInGhandsgirl11 · 09/05/2022 00:53

thatsalliknowsofar · 08/05/2022 21:00

If you work with someone with a chronic illness which can affect their work - fatigue, more days off sick, time off for hospital appointments would you be annoyed and feel as if they are a waste of a colleague?

Wow, I hope this is just a random question and not your thoughts.

I would go as far to say the person with opinions like that are a waste of space

AlasEarwacs · 09/05/2022 01:05

@HeArInGhandsgirl11 this thread is about the op

@thatsalliknowsofar talk to your manager and tell them you know what your colleagues said that's disgusting

jytdtysrht · 09/05/2022 01:12

I would expect the employer to handle all aspects of this.

  1. the employer needs to ensure that the hours that the chronically ill employee can do are enough to get all the work done. If this is not the case, the employer needs more staff so that other people do not routinely have to stay later etc.

  2. the employer needs to have policies to deal with bullying behaviour towards the chronically I’ll employee.

Terradacto · 09/05/2022 01:20

If someone called you a ‘waste of a colleague’ that is disgusting op and dehumanising language. I hope you are not taking this. If someone at work said this are you in a union?

Hazelnut32 · 09/05/2022 01:20

jytdtysrht · 09/05/2022 01:12

I would expect the employer to handle all aspects of this.

  1. the employer needs to ensure that the hours that the chronically ill employee can do are enough to get all the work done. If this is not the case, the employer needs more staff so that other people do not routinely have to stay later etc.

  2. the employer needs to have policies to deal with bullying behaviour towards the chronically I’ll employee.

The problem is Step 1 rarely happens in reality. What does happen is that companies avoid hiring openly disabled people so they don't need to pay an additional person to cover the extra hours.

Terradacto · 09/05/2022 01:20

Sorry for taking ‘taking this’ like I put the responsibility on you there just angry on your behalf and replied quickly.