And I'm still feeling a bit conflicted even though on the face of it we have "made up".
Married 4 years, 2 DC. Had always been a stay at home mum. A few years ago I went back into education to retrain. I've started working alongside that and am about to pick up (fingers crossed) some really well paid flexible work. DH now also retraining.
The row started off being about the lack of sex. I'd said how it made me feel and got upset. DH chose that moment to say that I had been irritable lately. That one of the most attractive things about me had always been my attitude to challenges, that nothing got to me and recently I'd been stressed and grumpy.
We have talked lots and resolved it but that comment is needling at me. I'm still doing the lions share of the home stuff, the admin. The DC have SEN and so there's additional pressures there. We have had legal battles with my ex over the last year and I've spent a lot of time writing letters to his solicitor, researching our position etc. I feel as though I'm stretching myself to breaking point and that his preference would be me back at home and smiling constantly. He has pointed out that he never said that but I feel like it's inferred.
What happens when I do my PHD in a few years and Im commuting into London? Or if work pressures mount up. Or I go through menopause or suffer a bereavement? Am I going to be expected to ensure my stress or hormones or grief don't impact him? It's making me re-evaluate everything.
I know I've changed an awful lot over the last few years. I've become a person outside of our home, marriage and family which in my books is a positive and healthy thing. I've been on Mumsnet long enough to feel like I will back on here in 10 years time when this has evolved into a much bigger issue. What to do? How to address it now? Or am I overreacting?