Feeling increasingly isolated, lonely and don't know what to do

[Redbluelellow]

I know there's people with much worse issues than me but it would really help to gain some insight please.
In a nutshell:
2 beautiful dc, great job mostly home working, married.
I know lots of people loads of acquaintances but actual friends probably less than 5. My closest friends has made lots of new friendships with school mums they go on holiday etc together I know lots of school mums from kids school and we do playdates but not much socially.
I want to meet more new people and have more adventures but this is difficult for 2 main Reasons.

1. I'm an increasingly nervous driver i hate driving fast and tend to stick to routes I know. I have tried to push myself out if comfort zone but am worse than ever.
2. I'm disabled. I don't tell people I can navigate around it for the most part and hide it. It's not discussed at all. However in the last 2 years I've had 3 falls so it's getting more difficult and I get scared of going out alone to places.

I'm 40 this year I don't want to feel sad I want to get out to New places and have fun- any help. Pls mumsnet?

Out of comfort zone*

Could you find some things to get involved in locally? If there is something you want to do further afield could you lift share or get a taxi or public transport for some of the journey?

As regards driving, do you have anyone who would be happy to practice driving on these scarier roads with you or just for moral support? Could you take a few lessons with a instructor focusing on different routes and faster roads or other areas you are unconfident about?

Are you doing anything to improve your anxiety? Have you had or would you consider counselling? Have you ever tried medication? Or meditation? Mindfulness? CBT?

If this is something that you want to change there are lots of ways to do that, start small and build to things. But also don't expect yourself to have the same capacity for adventures etc. As somebody without your disability especially without considering adaptations. Just because you're good at masking and making the best of things, doesn't mean things are as easy for you as other people. Your down time doesn't need to drain all your energy and it is ok if you can't do everything. Don't fall prey to FOMO, sometimes our need for adventure and socialising can be met much closer to home with much less cost in time, effort, Money, petrol etc. Than we might expect.

Thank you I definitely need to crack on with the driving side of things that would open up more opportunities for socialising so the motivation is there

I hate driving too but don't find I need to drive much to socialise. Can't you do things locally? I did an evening language course and made a really good friend who I often go out with for dinner etc. There loads of opportunities to do voluntary work or join a hobby group. My friend recently joined a sailing group (she was a complete beginner, had no experience at all) and has made friends that way. There are many classes near me like art classes, cookery classes etc. I think it's a good way to try and make friends.

Have you thought about driving lessons, OP? People tend to think of them for teens, but adults can take them too, and they can be focused more on developing specific skills. You might find it a good way to become more comfortable in the car.