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Original poster

Need the morning after pill.. but so conflicted

11 replies

rollwiththetimes · 08/05/2022 07:55

Hello,

So long story short.. my DP and I had been TTC for 2.5 years. Nothing was happening other than repeated chemical pregnancies, which were just absolutely heartbreaking. After continued doctors tests etc, it was found there are no abnormalities so in essence there was no reason for the chemical losses. The only thing they could put it down to was weight.

We took the difficult (but best!!!) decision to have gastric surgery. We both had weight loss surgery in February just gone, and have lost 13 stone between us since then!
A large leading factor for the surgery was actually that we hoped it would improve our fertility.

Last night we 'did the deed' (sorry ConfusedBlush) and the condom broke.

I'm only 9/10 weeks post op.. it's advised to wait 18+ months before trying to conceive after this surgery due to potential growth complications with the baby, if you do conceive.. since we are eating so little.

I feel a huge amount of guilt this morning. I know in my heart that I should go and get the morning after pill and hope that nothings happened. I checked my fertility tracker this AM and I'm due to ovulate early this week..

After 2.5 years of LONGING for a baby of our own, trying everything possible.. continued dr's appointments etc, it feels so wrong to me that I am now considering taking the morning after pill to essentially stop the process before it's even begun.

I don't really know what I'm asking here. Just felt I needed to get it written down to elevate it from my chest. It's really silly I know.. it's just strange how I could possibly be so close to our dream baby.. yet I'm going to stop it in its tracks 😣

OP posts:
Original poster
rollwiththetimes · 08/05/2022 07:56

Thanks in advance for any guidance. Sorry for the rambling message Blush

OP posts:
User0610134049 · 08/05/2022 07:58

I think you know what the logical thing to do is
you need to get pregnant ar the right time when you’re body has had a chance to recover from surgery to give you and your baby the best chance

KangarooKenny · 08/05/2022 07:59

I wouldn’t do anything in haste, I’d make a phone call to your gastric surgeon’s secretary on Monday and beg for a quick reply.

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Matchingcollarandcuffs · 08/05/2022 08:00

I’m sorry OP but from what you have said the chances are not that a healthy baby would grow but that your body would not be able to support both you and a pregnancy. You are going to need to reframe it as such, taking the MAP (which may not even be needed) is just preventing possibly a later term miscarriage. So by not taking it you could be opening yourself up to far more pain.

GoodVibesHere · 08/05/2022 08:01

I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds difficult for you but I personally would take the morning after pill. You would feel a million times worse if you went on to have a baby affected by growth problems knowing that you made that decision to go ahead with the pregnancy even though you are aware of the risks.

Congratulations on the weight loss, that's fantastic. I hope the future holds good things for you.

20viona · 08/05/2022 08:03

This is very difficult but I think I'd chance it in your situation. If you never got pregnant again you'd always wonder what if.

oatlattetogo · 08/05/2022 08:09

I’m really sorry you’re feeling so conflicted. I would absolutely take the pill though, you’re a long way from the 18 months being up (it’s not like your op was a year ago, in which case I would speak to your surgeon) and I wouldn’t risk going against the medical advice when you could be putting your own health and the health of any baby at risk.

It probably won’t make you feel any better, but statistically you are unlikely to have conceived from this one instance of unprotected sex. So I would think about it more that you are just taking a tablet to protect your health rather than to prevent a pregnancy as there’s no guarantee you would be pregnant anyway, if that makes sense?

Best of luck for the future 💐

sashh · 08/05/2022 08:16

Think of this as part of the process to eventually have your baby.

Get the pill and take it, you probably are not pregnant but you really don't want a complicated pregnancy which may harm you and your potential baby.

Dinoteeth · 08/05/2022 08:19

Op you know the answer, it's barely 3/4 months since your operation your body is still recovering, and you probably still have weight to loose. Although your both doing amazing in such a short time.

If it was nearer the 18mths mark it might be worth chancing it but not so soon. The last thing you want is your wounds to be stretched and possibly ruptured by a growing baby.

Fjea · 08/05/2022 08:21

Just consider it psychologically as fixing the condom that broke. At the time, you used contraception. You didn’t want to risk pregnancy. Hold on to that thought and see it through.

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 08/05/2022 08:26

You’re not pregnant now. The morning after pill is not going to end a pregnancy but a form (not as reliable) contraception. When you do become a parent you put the needs of your child first, this is a step along the path, the small potential of having a baby who you then can’t give adequate nutrition to me is a bigger concern then your want of a child.

Well done on the weight loss.

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