Feel so guilty about resigning

[Strawberrysolero]

I have worked for a very small company for 10 months. The job has always been difficult as it involves skills that I’m not a natural at. I’ve since been offered work at a different company that pays more and doesn’t involve the bits of the job I hate.

However, my boss (and owner of the business) has been so good to me over the past 10 months that I feel awful. I know she’s going to take it badly as she has put a lot of time, money and effort into my personal and professional development. She also waited many months after offering me the job in the first place before I could start due to complicated personal reasons.

How do I now throw everything she’s done for me back in her face and walk away? I will be offering to reimburse her for the professional courses that she paid for me to attend and I hope that softens the blow somewhat. It’s going to be awful though. 😔

If you died tomorrow they'd be advertising your position in a week. You don't owe them OP. Congratulations on the offer of the new job. Don't feel guilty and do what's right for you.

Thank you. I think it just feels so much more personal because it’s such a small company and because I know that I’ve cost her a lot of money. She’s also built me up as being an amazing thing for her clients and now I’m leaving them we well

Have you discussed any of the issues you’re unhappy with?

yes but they are key to the job so can’t be changed. Sales role and I hate selling basically.

They'll understand. People change roles all the time. She can tell them you moved to another country or had to leave for family issues if she wants to.

I also think she might refuse to give me a reference in which case I don’t know what I’d do. 😣

Give alternative referees on the basis that they've known you longer?

Have you been offered the job subject to references?

Oh god don't feel guilty!

Companies have 0 loyalty to you, no matter how nice they are.

Onwards and upwards.

She can be liable for that so that is a very unlikely event.

The vast majority of references now are simply they worked in capacity A, between B and C dates.

And thats it.

Would you offer to pay back a cost of living bonus you were awarded at beginning of April? It was £800 and I feel guilty for taking it now I’m leaving. DW thinks it’s crazy to even consider it.

I think you’re being a total mug! Why on earth are you offering to pay back anything?! They paid you to do a job, you did it. You mean nothing to them and you don’t owe them shit.

DW is right!

We're you recruited for your new position? Or did you actively seek it out? If it's the latter, then clearly there's some part of you that didn't want to stay around too long.

Omg no!

Take the money and run!

What's wrong with you? Give it to me!

I did actively seek it out @MrsMariaReynolds. I do want to leave. I just feel awful about it. I’ve only ever worked for bigger firms before and then there is no guilt. Working so closely with someone so nice who owns the business makes it feel much more personal

Ok. I’ve got the message not to pay the bonus back. DW pleased you all agree with her. 😀