Who would you put as emergency contact?

[WoodenClock]

Dh died nearly a year ago, previously I would have always put him.

I'm getting back to doing some events that require an emergency contact.

my choices are:

-One of my adult (but only just adult) sons
-My 78 yo father. Pretty fit and well but getting more and more prone to anxiety. Less able to cope with adversity.
-To ask a friend, someone who's often at these events with me, but it does seem a big ask

One of your sons, if they agree.

I would add your son's contact - mainly because he is probably never far from his mobile phone and could contact someone else if necessary.

Actually there's my sister as well but she doesn't live locally.

I would put one of your sons but make sure they know and talk to them about who else they can contact if they don't feel able to deal with the situation on their own and they know where any paperwork or details are they might need.

Who'd react best in an emergency? Who'd be best placed to notify the people you'd mentioned? Would your dad panic and flap? Would your sons?

This is the reason for my dithering. I can't see sons or Dad being much use to me and it would cause trauma to all of them, when frankly sons have been through enough.

Not that the events are particulary high risk, but I'm aware that I'm probably feeling over protective towards them currently. Neither has coped very well with life following their dad's death when till in their teens (who would?)

They would only really need to use this if you can't call people yourself. So, hypothetically, you trip over something, whack your head, aren't making any sense, who should they call as the paramedics haul you into hospital?

I think probably your son - even if he's young, he can call people, he can make sure any pets are ok etc. Whoever you choose, make sure they have a sanity-check list to cover the situation, eg who has spare key, contact details for work, where your will is, how your bills work, who to send any pets to etc.

Now is a good time to set up POA while you're thinking about all this - we're all only one bad fall away from needing someone else to look after our affairs for us.

TBH in that situation on of the friends at the event would probably be most useful, in the moment and then they'd contact sons.

I can’t imagine your friend would mind and they sound much more appropriate, and they can contact your dad and sons on your behalf.

I’d put your friend. I run, and when a race asks for an emergency contact, I generally put one of the women who will be there with me. They’ll be more use ‘on the ground’ and can contact whoever needs contacting if necessary.

It sounds like you think it should be a friend so go with a friend. You could change it down the line if anything should change.

Your friend or maybe your son if one is more capable in an emergency (good on the phone? has a car? Lives nearby?)

I've always wondered what people who have no one at all do.

@WoodenClock in that case, I vote you ask your friend.
She's there anyway generally so she'd know if you were in trouble. That way they don't panic anyone else and she doesn't need to contact anyone until she knows what's what - which means not worrying your son's unnecessarily.