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What is the appeal of this man?

12 replies

WoodenClock · 07/05/2022 14:25

He's averagely attractive I suppose, but thoroughly unpleasant.

He's the ex of a friend, so I'm not completely unbiased, but I disliked him from before I'd even met him, just because of the way friend seemed to be so anxious about displeasing him. For example, she'd said she'd be home by 10am after Sunday morning exercise and was really stressed about being a few minutes late because he had his children from a previous relationship and "needed" her help.

They were serious very quickly and he moved in because he needed somewhere to live and somewhere to have his DC When I did meet him and we went out as a group with friends he would often go off in a strop because of something she'd said. She regularly didn't know if he'd be there when she got home. Once he stropped off with her car keys leaving her stranded.

Then they had a child, he lost his job but still expected to spend as before - she has a very good job. Eventually she saw the light and kicked him out.

Now he has another partner. I know her to chat to and she regularly has all three of his children. She seems brilliant with them, but has them on her own almost all weekend while he does his hobbies. She used to do this hobby too, but she doesn't have time now.

Why? What's so attractive? Why do so many women fall for it?

OP posts:
Summerholidayorcovidagain · 07/05/2022 14:27

They all believe to be the one to change him and he is simply misunderstood.
Deluded fools.

GingeryLemons · 07/05/2022 14:32

I regularly wonder this about my ex and his secretary wife. He's a known wife beater (me), and she helped him in court. What goes on in a person's head to think that is a good prospect? Bizarre.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 07/05/2022 14:32

Maybe your friend has low self esteem

Georgeskitchen · 07/05/2022 14:33

Sex. Great sex.
Which doesn't last forever, and when the sexual chemistry fades, that's when the realisation hits you full in the face that the person who couldn't keep your hands off is an utter twat

balalake · 07/05/2022 14:40

Ask the many women who have had relationships with Boris Johnson.

WoodenClock · 07/05/2022 14:43

The new woman knows my friend too, so she knows exactly what's gone before.

FWIW friend is much happier having her DD cared for by this woman than she is when her father has her.

OP posts:
Floydthebarber · 07/05/2022 14:47

I imagine he can spot which women to start a relationship with, it's likely not going to be a woman who will stand up to him from the get go. He'll just carry on until someone doesn't cotton onto what he is doing and not kick him out.

WoodenClock · 07/05/2022 14:50

Floydthebarber · 07/05/2022 14:47

I imagine he can spot which women to start a relationship with, it's likely not going to be a woman who will stand up to him from the get go. He'll just carry on until someone doesn't cotton onto what he is doing and not kick him out.

Yes, it's odd. Both the women I know are professional, educated people who take absolutely no nonsense in other aspects of their lives. Both the kind of people you go to when you need someone who will get things done with prominent roles in the local community.

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BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 07/05/2022 14:50

Perhaps he has a big'un 😄

FriedTomatoe · 07/05/2022 15:11

Maybe he's really good at talking. I've come across it loads of times before. The man that says a split was mutual/it just didn't work out/my ex had mental health issues. A lot of women ignore the back story and the evidence in front of them and believe the man completely without decoding what they're saying. Give me a man that doesn't speak modern dating language any day of the week.

Pinkpigs · 07/05/2022 15:11

Just leave them at it

WoodenClock · 07/05/2022 15:14

FriedTomatoe · 07/05/2022 15:11

Maybe he's really good at talking. I've come across it loads of times before. The man that says a split was mutual/it just didn't work out/my ex had mental health issues. A lot of women ignore the back story and the evidence in front of them and believe the man completely without decoding what they're saying. Give me a man that doesn't speak modern dating language any day of the week.

Yes, I could understand if it was just that (I'm sure there's an element of that) but from day one with a new partner he's controlling and uses them as unpaid childcare. So even if they don't believe what they hear about what went before, they do know how treating them .

I've got no intention of doing anything, but I do find it fascinating.

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