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Original poster

I feel like I've completely messed up my career

18 replies

francenext · 07/05/2022 12:14

I'm in my 20s. I thought I had started my career working as a copywriter, something I had aimed towards since university. I thought it would suit me as I'm shy and introverted.

However, it has been a disaster. I have developed anxiety and have had to be signed off work by my GP. My attendance is now above the trigger point due to this and having already had time off for sickness bug and COVID. I'm scared I'm going to get fired for my poor attendance once I return from sick leave as I've only been there 8 months.

I don't know whether to give in my resignation first to try and avoid a disciplinary or dismissal being on my record? Or would they carry on with it even in my notice period? I feel like I've messed everything up

OP posts:
VintageGibbon · 07/05/2022 12:20

Is it the work itself that causes you anxiety or are you having MH issues which would have happened anyway but they are affecting your work?

PentaBike · 07/05/2022 12:29

FlowersBrew
OP, you haven't messed up your career.

If you are shy and introverted, having a job with tight deadlines and where people expect fast turn around or they brief you then change your mind is maybe not ideal.

What is your notice period? If you can afford it, I would resign and recuperate then plan my next steps. Some CBT will hope you and possibly anxiety medicine in the short term.

You are young, the best thing you can do is find out as much as possible about what kind of work environment and pace and level of social interaction suits you and then pursue that profession or role.

Other posters might be able to advise on what jobs are more or less suite to introverts.

Original poster
francenext · 07/05/2022 12:30

VintageGibbon · 07/05/2022 12:20

Is it the work itself that causes you anxiety or are you having MH issues which would have happened anyway but they are affecting your work?

I think it's a bit of both. I think I've had anxiety for years but never really realised how bad it was and I managed to just push through it. Then my job is quite fast paced and stressful and I think it tipped me over the edge

OP posts:
PentaBike · 07/05/2022 12:30

or they brief you then change their mind is maybe not ideal.

crazeekat · 07/05/2022 12:35

Hun don't ever think a job (any job) is worth your mental health being affected.
Your worries will be alleviated as soon as you go and speak to your manager or HR department as soon as u feel able, they should be experienced with this kind of issue. Be honest with them and explain everything. They cannot sack you for being ill but you must think of what to do for the future. Ur work may be able to support
You more or it may be that it's the call you needed to move on and think of something else. But worrying is only
Going to make you worse, and it's a vicious circle, so speak up sooner rather than later x

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 07/05/2022 12:38

First things first, in terms of disciplinary you may be invited to a meeting to discuss your sickness, it's likely that you would be given a verbal warning as first stage of disciplinary and targets to avoid triggering next stage.

Secondly there is no 'record' as such when it comes to employment history. No one would know you were fired even if it happened unless you told them. Most companies no longer give references they just confirm start, end dates and job title. That's if you decide to give that employer as a reference, you could choose not to put them on your CV if that's what you wanted to do. The only time there is truly a record of these things is if you work in a regulated/registered industry like nursing where you have to be registered to perform your job role.

What are you doing to address your anxiety, are you receiving counselling, taking medication or engaging in activities like exercise/mindfulness to finding coping strategies? Have you identified your triggers or any strategies that you could speak to work about implementing like shorter days, working from home a couple of days a week, changing your duties....

Going to your manager and any formal meetings with that kind of information would help.

Original poster
francenext · 07/05/2022 13:44

PentaBike · 07/05/2022 12:29

FlowersBrew
OP, you haven't messed up your career.

If you are shy and introverted, having a job with tight deadlines and where people expect fast turn around or they brief you then change your mind is maybe not ideal.

What is your notice period? If you can afford it, I would resign and recuperate then plan my next steps. Some CBT will hope you and possibly anxiety medicine in the short term.

You are young, the best thing you can do is find out as much as possible about what kind of work environment and pace and level of social interaction suits you and then pursue that profession or role.

Other posters might be able to advise on what jobs are more or less suite to introverts.

My notice period is 2 months. I've applied to some jobs and heard back from some but I haven't progressed any further with my applications whilst I've been off with anxiety as I've not been in the right headspace. I do have savings so could hand in my notice, it just seems risky as I do already have a gap on my CV after graduating just before lockdown.

I'm not really sure what kind of jobs to go for, but thank you for highlighting that tight deadlines and fast turnarounds may be an issue. I always thought I was fine with that as I coped well with university which could be intense, but having it at work with multiple colleagues wanting things from you is a lot different.

OP posts:
Original poster
francenext · 07/05/2022 13:46

crazeekat · 07/05/2022 12:35

Hun don't ever think a job (any job) is worth your mental health being affected.
Your worries will be alleviated as soon as you go and speak to your manager or HR department as soon as u feel able, they should be experienced with this kind of issue. Be honest with them and explain everything. They cannot sack you for being ill but you must think of what to do for the future. Ur work may be able to support
You more or it may be that it's the call you needed to move on and think of something else. But worrying is only
Going to make you worse, and it's a vicious circle, so speak up sooner rather than later x

Thank you, I'm hoping that work will be understanding that anxiety/mental health issues are out of my control. I feel so much guilt and anger at myself for taking this time off when I already knew that I needed to try and avoid any further time off because of my attendance.

OP posts:
Original poster
francenext · 07/05/2022 13:49

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 07/05/2022 12:38

First things first, in terms of disciplinary you may be invited to a meeting to discuss your sickness, it's likely that you would be given a verbal warning as first stage of disciplinary and targets to avoid triggering next stage.

Secondly there is no 'record' as such when it comes to employment history. No one would know you were fired even if it happened unless you told them. Most companies no longer give references they just confirm start, end dates and job title. That's if you decide to give that employer as a reference, you could choose not to put them on your CV if that's what you wanted to do. The only time there is truly a record of these things is if you work in a regulated/registered industry like nursing where you have to be registered to perform your job role.

What are you doing to address your anxiety, are you receiving counselling, taking medication or engaging in activities like exercise/mindfulness to finding coping strategies? Have you identified your triggers or any strategies that you could speak to work about implementing like shorter days, working from home a couple of days a week, changing your duties....

Going to your manager and any formal meetings with that kind of information would help.

Thank you for your reply.

I'm hoping that work will be understanding and give me time to prove that I can make my attendance better.

For my anxiety I've started taking medication, I had done some CBT a few months ago but didn't find it helpful. I think I was triggered by a few intense weeks at work where there were lots of tight deadlines and some of my colleagues were on holiday so I had a lot more responsibility. I also had some presentations coming up that I was feeling very anxious about.

OP posts:
Autienotnaughtie · 07/05/2022 14:10

My dd was v excited to get her first role as a copywriter, she found it stressful, unrewarding, unsupportive and struggled to find work life balance. She has just found a new job. Life is too short to stay in something you dislike for fear of how it looks. You are also very early on in your career you have a long time to figure things out. I'm in my forties and I'm on my 4th career, I've done things while they worked then I moved on when they didn't.

Sortilege · 07/05/2022 14:14

Most copywriters are freelance. Would that suit you better?

Original poster
francenext · 07/05/2022 15:53

Autienotnaughtie · 07/05/2022 14:10

My dd was v excited to get her first role as a copywriter, she found it stressful, unrewarding, unsupportive and struggled to find work life balance. She has just found a new job. Life is too short to stay in something you dislike for fear of how it looks. You are also very early on in your career you have a long time to figure things out. I'm in my forties and I'm on my 4th career, I've done things while they worked then I moved on when they didn't.

It's a relief to know that others have experienced similarly. I find it hard to admit to myself as on the surface my work is very supportive, and I have a great manager. I just feel like the nature of the work and agency environment isn't for me

OP posts:
Original poster
francenext · 07/05/2022 15:53

Sortilege · 07/05/2022 14:14

Most copywriters are freelance. Would that suit you better?

That could be an option, yes. However, as I'm relatively inexperienced I think it would be difficult to get into

OP posts:
Original poster
francenext · 07/05/2022 18:52

Have been thinking more this afternoon and I just think this job isn't for me. I've felt a lot more peace after realising that and accepting that.

OP posts:
Didiplanthis · 07/05/2022 19:00

I've stuck with a job that has made me incredibly anxious for 25 + years... I wish bitterly I had had the guts to say this isn't working out for me and changed careers at your age.

TheHatinaCat · 07/05/2022 19:01

Some jobs and work environments are hideously fast and stressful so don't be too hard on yourself. It's not until you actually do a job that you know whether it's for you.

Maybe tell us what works for you/doesn't work for you in this job and we can chuck some career suggestions your way.

Summerloverr · 07/05/2022 19:06

It could be that you're not suited to agency life rather than not suited to the copywriter career. Some people thrive in a fast paced agency environment and enjoy the variety, whereas others (including myself) find it thoroughly stressful. You're having to work for multiple people within the agency as well as clients and that isn't easy.

I left and vowed never to work for an agency again. Working in house is much better for me, and Maybe this is something you would consider.

Autienotnaughtie · 07/05/2022 20:22

@francenext when I started reading your post I thought you might be my daughter 😂

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