Please help me feel not as bad

[ceecee32]

My mum who is 90 has been taken to A & E because of kidney problems, its only been a couple of weeks since she was last in.
I feel really terrible that there is not much I can do, I am recovering from a stem cell transplant for leukemia, my immune system is non existent and I can only walk a few steps before I get so breathless that I nearly pass out.
I feel awful that I should be doing more for her, that I should be there with her as we only have each other and don't have any other relatives.
I don't know if there is an answer, I partly feel as if I am making excuses as to why I can't be with her but I have been in hospital for transfusions twice this week.
If I got a taxi to hospital I would have to hope to find a wheelchair and porter to take me to her.
I just feel as if I am letting her down .......sorry I know there is nothing anybody can do

Gosh, your situation is really tough. There really is nothing you can do. It is quite likely that, even if you got to the hospital, you would not be allowed to visit and it may be unwise anyway. Hospitals are not the safest place for someone who is immune compromised at the best of times.

Your mum, however, is in the best place for her and am sure will be get excellent care.

You really do have nothing to feel guilty about. You can't do what you can't do and need to take care of your own health at the moment.

Life can be so shitty. Hugs

OP, if you were perfectly fit and healthy, but just couldn’t be arsed visiting your mother, then ok, you should feel guilty.
But that is absolutely not the case with you!
You are very clinically vulnerable to infection, so a hospital is the last place you should be visiting, plus you are exhausted.
You can phone or facetime your mum from home, or send in cards, letters or treats. She already knows you love her, and will be well aware of your health problems.
Don’t go looking for sticks to beat yourself with. My best wishes for your own recovery, as well as your DM’s.

Thank you for your kind words.
I've spoken to her and said I wished I could be there but she is a feisty lady and said its the worse possible thing I could do.
Fingers crossed she is OK xx

She's home thank goodness x

Glad she’s home but you’re poorly yourself don’t you dare feel guilty.