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Original poster

If you could talk to your 16 year old self what would you say?

103 replies

Trivester · 06/05/2022 10:12

I’d tell her that one day she will be relieved that she didn’t marry Johnny Depp (she won’t believe me)

I should give her better career advice, but I’ve still no idea what that should be.

I’m pretty sure that she’d be too appalled at the state of her 45 year old self to take any advice anyway.

OP posts:
RuthW · 06/05/2022 12:10

Don't marry the first boyfriend that comes along.

Always be able to support yourself financially.

Get as many qualifications as you can even though it's the norm to leave school at 16 and get a job.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 06/05/2022 12:12

You are neither fat nor ugly, and you need to drop the toxic ‘friends’. Sixth form will be ok for you as your depression will lift (but for now go get medicated).

if it was my 12 year old self it would be: that school that your dad wants will be a source of misery. Go to the local school instead.

Daenerys77 · 06/05/2022 12:13

Only two years to go and then life will get immeasurably better.

Littlegoth · 06/05/2022 12:18

I’d tell myself to get rid of my boyfriend and get with my best friend instead.

instead I married the boyfriend, split 6 months later and ended up with the best friend anyway. Really wish I could get back those years.

AnotherPoster · 06/05/2022 12:18

Work harder.
Go to university.
Grow up where men are concerned.

JoeGoldberg · 06/05/2022 12:19

You DO have adhd and that's why things have been so weird growing up. A doctor will believe you soon, even though your parents don't, and you'll start to understand yourself much better.

Go after him when he walks out. It's you who was being unreasonable. Apologise. It still might not work out but better to give it a chance than burn the bridge in anger.

Stay gone the first time you leave him, do NOT let him draw you back in it will just lead a couple more years of abuse.

Insist that you go to the hospital with your dad. You'll know what I mean when the time comes.

PanettoneMoly · 06/05/2022 12:32

I’d tell her to listen to the lyrics of the Baz Luhrmann Sunscreen song. Apart from throwing out old bank statements. She should always keep those, just in case.

cheeseisthebest · 06/05/2022 12:36

Appreciate your slimness, it won't last. Grow your hair.
Have sex with more men.
Enjoy and appreciate being single and don't just go along with the first person who shows interest.
Have the op rather than wait over 20 years.
Appreciate your Grandmother you won't have her for much longer.

JustATomCat · 06/05/2022 12:39

I'd tell her to believe in herself more.

glebaisaword · 06/05/2022 12:48

Your body is awesome, stop hiding it away, get some fashion tips for dressing better and making the most of it though. Same re hair and skin.

Eat better, keep up with a sport and a language. Save your money and then travel.

Stop trying to impress the 'friends' that are actually unsupportive and bitchy. You won't see them after college anyway!

Your parents problems are bad and they shouldn't be putting you in the middle. It'll get worse before it gets better, but you are the child not the adult and they are not your responsibility.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 06/05/2022 12:50

I spent yesterday feeling like I was talking to 16 year old me. I am in my 60's and my 19 year old colleague had been dumped the evening before. It took me right back to when it happened to me the first time at 16 and how devisating it all seemed then. I suggested she cry her heart out whilst listening to Elkie Brooks sing Sunshine after the rain. Thats what I did, it probably didnt help her.

jytdtysrht · 06/05/2022 13:01

Do not allow people to treat you like shit.

I thought that if I was nice to people, they'd be nice to me. Beyond fucking naive. But in reality, you have to actively stop certain people taking advantage, being nasty to you etc.

me4real · 06/05/2022 13:11

Don't offer men sex on a plate thinking it's clever or will win friends and influence people. Don't let yourself be used. Bin wrong'uns fast.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 06/05/2022 13:12

"Your dad will put you out of the house in a few months. Enjoy it. They won't come looking for you, feel no guilt and don't bother trying to keep in touch. You'll be no contact for most of your life. And you will be loved, you will enjoy being married, because you are loveable"

Or maybe just "be more selfish. Sod them"

MaryAndHerNet · 06/05/2022 13:13

Get mental health help at 20, not 42.

HeadToToesNo · 06/05/2022 13:13

You will be loved
You will feel loved
You will be happy

ParsleyRosemarySage · 06/05/2022 16:03

Ignore the shit. Trust your instincts, you are one of the most intelligent t people I know now and they are almost always correct. But dust off that first idea for a career you had because the world will change and working hard in the world of knowledge will be a total waste of time and effort. Class-ridden Britain genuinely does have very little room for those of low backgrounds.

weightedblanketofshame · 06/05/2022 16:12

Don't go to university, mum and dad will be disappointed at first but you'll go when you're ready to choose a career path.

You're not a freak, you have undiagnosed ADHD and your friends and family really do love you.

No one has their shit together, just enjoy yourself and figure out what makes you happy, even temporarily.

YOU'RE NOT FAT, STOP BLOODY DIETING!!!

Your mum is doing her best, you both are, spend more time together because she adores you and she'll be gone in less than a decade.

MaisyMary77 · 06/05/2022 16:26

It’s all going to be ok.

At 16 I was living in a hostel for mothers and babies. My parents had kicked me out and tried to force me to put DD up for adoption. So it was just DD and I against the world. Everything had gone wrong. So many shitty things happened but we managed.

That was nearly 30 years ago. My life is good now, DD grew up into the most amazing woman, my DH is wonderful and we had 2 more DCs. I am content.

user65342 · 06/05/2022 16:38

Go travelling, have experiences. The boyfriends, steady jobs and mortgages will still be there when you get back.

KangarooKenny · 06/05/2022 16:42

Do not get into a life long relationship at 17.
Do not move so far away from your mum.
Pay a private pension as soon as you start working, if you have maty leave get the child’s father to pay it.
Do not change your name if you get married, and agree to double barrel any kids names.

whereismybike · 06/05/2022 16:42

Try to work out what you really enjoy and build a life/friends/career around that. Not what you think you should like, what you think will make people like you, or what you think you should want to do- what you REALLY enjoy. This will mean trying things and changing your mind quite a bit, but that's OK.

TheVillageBaker · 06/05/2022 16:42

You are beautiful, inside and out.
Take the gap year, uni can wait.
You're more capable than you think.

iklboo · 06/05/2022 16:48

NEVER take him back. Ignore him, freeze him out. He's going to subject you to another 12 years of misery.

Do the exams YOU want to do, not what your parents & teachers want you to do. You'll be miserable.

RollOnWinter · 06/05/2022 17:02

Be good to your parents, they won't always be there
You're definitely not fat (8st then)
Put some money away each month