Just me, myself and I

[EdaYildiz]

I've posted previously about my sister and her mental health issues and how we as a family have struggled and suffered as a result of it with our own mental health.

I also work from home now, so I'm around her all the time when she is having episode which is not only traumatising, it can get frustrating and results in fights between us. My parents are elderly and way out of their depth, but this is a story for another day.

Thankfully I earn money and I drive but I'm tired of going shopping on my days off to get out of the house and away from her for a couple of hours - I end up buying things I don't need!

I'm also lucky that I live a 20 minute drive away from South Kennington (not that I would ever drive there) but never venture into the city by train as much as I could and do things like museums (which I LOVE), photography, reading a book in a Hyde Park, or visit some really pretty restaurants or food markets because I am alone and I get paranoid that people are looking at me being alone.

My friends are busy, married or have children. I do meet them but not as much anymore - so I guess what I'm trying to ask is does anyone else do things alone and just not care about anything/one else? If so, what else do you recommend I can do? - I would love to join a Art Class too! (My list goes on forever).

I really wouldn’t worry what people think. Who cares? Just because someone is with another person doesn’t mean they’re always happy. Especially in London where there is such a vibrant mix of people doing their own thing. Take a book to read if you feel self conscious. Just enjoy yourself.

If you like museums/art galleries etc then just go. Not that familiar with London but is Kew Gardens doable or any of the big houses. Don't bother about others just go and relax.

I do loads of my own OP. Off to the theatre on my own tomorrow night and sitting in a cosy little pub alone typing this. I honestly don't think other people particularly care or notice. Also it's attitude - you have as much right to be in that space as anyone else!

No op you start doing what You want to do.

You go to the museums. Look for signs for other things, groups, activities etc.

I would never judge someone alone, I would welcome them. Get out and do what you love.

Yes join an art class, join two! There's so much to do in London, try out everything - museums, galleries, big bookshops, go to all the parks, at least half the people in London are doing things on their own all the time.

I honestly don’t think anyone would notice you doing anything, going anywhere alone— and especially not in London. I’ve gone to the ballet, theatre, museums, travelled in UK and abroad on my own. Drove a camper van across Europe on my own. Never noticed anyone looking weirdly at me.
You need to do things that you enjoy for your own mental health.

Noone will be judging you at all.
I'm in London and do loads alone. Eat out, get cheap tickets for the opera (terrible view but I paid £19 for La Boheme at the royal opera House!) I go to gigs - if you are standing, no-one can tell you are by yourself. There are always wonderful exhibitions on at the museums and galleries. Lunch may be less daunting than dinner if you are nervous about eating alone, but you can graze around Borough market and not need an actual meal. Colombia Road Flower Market is a lovely way to spend an hour. Do you run or cycle? Get a Boris bike and go round a park, or put on some music and run. Take a sandwich and a flask and sit on a hill at Hampstead Heath and read a book in the sun. Loads of fabulous things to do, once you start it may become addictive!

I'm in a new city on my own for a few days and currently sat outside enjoying a lovely dinner. I've been shopping and exploring today and tomorrow I'm off to a gallery. I really like my own company. Enjoy yourself!

Whats wrong with going out alone? I do it all the time, to exhibitions I want to see, places I want to go, I'm not going to sit around and wait for people to want to go along with me.

In return its actually worked quite well. My friends know that if they want to do something and want company even if it its not my cup of tea I will go because life is supposed to be one big adventure and its usually always fun.

There's a lovely booke called The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, OP.
It's about finding your creative streak, and one of the suggestions is to take yourself on an 'Artist's date'. Just you, and your inner child.
If you Google it, you'll see that you're not the only one doing things by yourself, and you'll find hundreds of suggestions of things to do as well.
Nobody bats an eyelid at you doing things alone.
I'd highly recommend the artists way book/course as a way of healing, too! It's worth a look!

I love doing things on my own.

I'm not an art class person, but there's lots available at City Lit (where I've gone for other classes, alone, and loved them), plus if life drawing is what you are after, there's drop-in classes all over London by the likes of Soho Life Drawing and London Life Drawing, so you don't even need to commit to a full course.

Good luck OP! Get out there!

Thank you all so much for your courage and sharing what you all do, alone!

I have a week off after today so I'm definitely going to venture into London and do some things for me

Encouragement**

I'm so glad we've given you the confidence! Would love to hear how you get on

I do loads of things on my own - go for walks, to gigs, evening classes, cinema, restaurants etc. I'm married and have friends but really cherish my time alone. It seems to soothe my soul. It's never occurred to me to worry about what people think. I don't believe anyone even notices me.

I do things on my own, and I don’t worry about what others think.
Have you thought about moving out, working towards it ?

Don't waste your days off going shopping for stuff you don't want. You can use Meet Up in London to go around a museum or gallery with other people. But it owuld be good to get comfortable doing things on your own. A coffee with a book in a sunny spot in the park or a nice cafe, a wander around a gallery or museum - these are some of my greatest pleasures and they can be as fun alone as with others. Certainly more fun than shopping.

I'm pleased you have found encouragement here OP, go out and enjoy yourself, there's nothing wrong with being alone!
I go lots of places on my own and don't give a monkey's what anyone thinks because for one thing if they choose to judge me I regard it as them with the problem. You shouldn't judge people you know nothing about.
You can enjoy things in a different way on your own too, perhaps concentrate more without a talking distraction or maybe even have a little chat with a stranger.
Enjoy your trips !

Try the art academy in borough for adult professional art classes

An update for everyone!

So on my last day off, I caught the train and ventured into London - I walked around Covent Garden for a while and it was soo nice to finally see what was actually there (I've been a couple of times to eat but never really walked around the area to look the shops). I stopped at Glossier and treated myself to some new skincare products which I LOVE!

I did for a minute have a look around and see how many people were alone with headphones on, shopping/walking etc. so I think I'm slightly more confident than I was when I originally started this thread.

Then I ventured into Victoria and walked down to the Buckingham Palace Shop as I wanted to buy a couple of bits for the Jubilee and ended up buying a few keepsakes too and then walked around Buckingham Palace and saw them preparing for the garden parties and possibly the Jubilee Celebrations too!

It was such a nice day and I will do it again more often, especially to look after my mental health. I'm so grateful I live in London and have so much to see! Thank you to everyone again, for sharing your stories and giving me the confidence!!! 😊

That's brilliant!