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Original poster

Would you meet up with an old love interest?

13 replies

gothereagain · 05/05/2022 16:37

Would you meet up with an old love interest?

Love interest might not be the right word, we were more than fuck buddies but not in a relationship. Let’s call him A.
14 years ago we met through mutual friends and around 2 years later started having sex. We never dated in the traditional sense, our relationship was based on sex. The best sex I’ve ever had and remains the case. This went on for about 18 months. We dated other people during this time, we’d stop for a a couple of weeks and then resume. I never wanted more from him than this, and he felt the same. We had mutual friends and they didn’t know about our relationship. Eventually he started dating someone else ( a mutual friend) and then when he realised it was serious, we stopped for good and they got engaged and then married. I met my ex husband and we all moved on with our lives. They emigrated to New Zealand about 10 years ago, shortly after they got married.
A and I kept in touch in fits and bursts, nothing major, merry Christmas, text photos of places we’d have sex. Every few months or so. A and his wife split up shortly after they emigrated – I found this out through the wife, he has never mentioned it really. The last time we were in contact was around 8 years ago, similar for the wife. Until this week. I ended up very randomly and unexpectedly going on a weekend break to the place we got together – a friend was going with her partner and her partner got covid so last minute invited me, but I didn’t bother asking details, pulled up to the place and was hit with a very strong sense of nostalgia. I took a photo of the field and river and sent it to his old number. Not knowing if he was still on that number and no comment. A few hours later I got a message back and he clearly got the reference since then we’ve been in text conversation. He’s told me he’s back in the UK for his brothers wedding in August and do I want to meet up? From the texts and the basis of our past relationship this is clearly a sex meet up and I don’t know if I should go? I’m worried the spark won’t be there any more and maybe it should just all remain a very nice memory. I’m worried he won’t fancy me any more, or vice-versa. Neither of us have social media so I have no idea how he looks these days, plus tastes and stuff change. I just don’t know what to do!

So would you?

OP posts:
girljulian · 05/05/2022 16:39

You're single? If yes, go!

HollowTalk · 05/05/2022 16:41

If you're both single then yes, definitely! I'd hold off sleeping with him for a bit though as otherwise I think you'll go back to FWB.

PollyDarton1 · 05/05/2022 16:42

If you're both single, sure - why not. You can send selfies to each other to scout whether you are both still sexually attracted to each other, so don't fret about that!

So long as you are OK with the fact it's purely sex and won't evolve into anything more, I don't see the harm!

balalake · 05/05/2022 16:47

Perhaps you would want to find out about the mutual friends if you are not in contact with them, or just about life in New Zealand. Maybe he wants to know what life in the UK is like now. Nothing wrong with catching up. However I think it should be on that basis and not for sex.

Original poster
gothereagain · 05/05/2022 16:49

HollowTalk · 05/05/2022 16:41

If you're both single then yes, definitely! I'd hold off sleeping with him for a bit though as otherwise I think you'll go back to FWB.

Well he's only in the UK for a couple of weeks and I don't actually want a relationship with him. I didn't then and I don't now!

OP posts:
something2say · 05/05/2022 16:53

Think about it then.
But to say no would close the door.
I must say, you've kept that door open tho....why?

Original poster
gothereagain · 05/05/2022 16:59

something2say · 05/05/2022 16:53

Think about it then.
But to say no would close the door.
I must say, you've kept that door open tho....why?

Because the sex was that good and the heat between us was indescribable.

Balalake can you expand on why you wouldn't just meet for sex?

OP posts:
PeacockPartyTime · 05/05/2022 17:00

Yes, and now we’re married 💕 It turned out we’d both been pining after each other for over 10 years but had never been single at the same time. It finally happened, we met up and the rest is history.

Sunnytwobridges · 05/05/2022 17:00

Heck yeah! I would love to have that opportunity with one of my old love interests. You never know what could happen.

Original poster
gothereagain · 05/05/2022 18:36

PeacockPartyTime · 05/05/2022 17:00

Yes, and now we’re married 💕 It turned out we’d both been pining after each other for over 10 years but had never been single at the same time. It finally happened, we met up and the rest is history.

That's lovely. Definitely not going to happen here though.

OP posts:
MissCalamity · 05/05/2022 20:27

Yes, would totally do this if you're single, he's single, you know you're probably going to get a good shag, why ever not?!

ImInStealthMode · 05/05/2022 20:31

After I got divorced I actively pursued this exact kind of situation with a similar kind of old flame. Sadly we live in different countries and didn't end up making it work to meet (although they were some fairly spicy conversations along the way)

If you're both single, no expectations, no strings, go for it!

Original poster
gothereagain · 05/05/2022 21:24

Yes, definitely need to clarify if he's single or not before we meet! If he's not I won't meet him.

OP posts:
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