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Advice about when to TTC

5 replies

Redcupbluecuppa · 05/05/2022 10:29

Just looking for opinions. I'm an "older" mum to a 21 month old. He is really energetic and a total ball of energy and liveliness. Quite a handful, lovely spirited happy boy but hard work!

Due to my age we need to start trying for another this year as we would ideally like two children if we are lucky enough.

In my heart I do want two children and siblings for each other, as does DH. However, at this minute I don't feel ready because my son is such hard work! He's at nursery only part time so a lot of the week I'm looking after him. My husband works till late so I do all the bath and bedtimes during the week.

Essentially I'm trying to reconcile the want for a second child with the practicalities of looking after my lively son, and the reality of my ticking biological clock.

My question is, I know every child is different, but do you think my son might be a bit easier to manage by the time he's, say, nearly 3? Eg if I was lucky enough to get pregnant this Autumn, and have a baby sometime next Spring, he would be nearly 3.

I'm well aware i can't micro manage my fertility and things may well work out differently, but just thinking through and trying to forecast potential pitfalls in theory.

Eg if I can get my son potty trained that will make life easier if we had another. Also, in Sept after he turns 3 (next year) my son will be attending preschool from 9-3 which might make life easier?

The good thing is he's an excellent sleeper, so I hope that remains!

Overall I guess if I was younger I would wait until my son was clearly easier to manage and able to follow rules, or possibly at school before trying, but as I can't wait that long I'm trying to work out the best way of doing this (again, knowing that nature will have its own ideas).

Any experiences or advice?

OP posts:
Redcupbluecuppa · 05/05/2022 10:30

Oh I forgot to add, that DH and I have no other family to help with childcare so it's just us.

OP posts:
Lsquiggles · 05/05/2022 10:46

OP if you want another child then I would just go for it. We have a DD who is almost 3 and we had been putting off TTC baby number 2 due to covid for the past 1.5 years, we are now on month 6 of TTC with no luck so far. It may be slightly easier to manage once your child is in nursery 9-3 but you adapt to your situation regardless 😊

Redcupbluecuppa · 05/05/2022 13:15

Thanks squiggles - yes I'm well aware that I cannot bank on my fertility. I know it sounds strange but I'm of the mindset that I don't want to jump straight into having another one too soon and end up with too much stress on DH and I and our son.

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stairgates · 05/05/2022 13:26

So you are hoping to start in 6 months? I don't think that's too long to wait, maybe start in 4 months to give yourself a little bit of extra ttc time.

Redcupbluecuppa · 05/05/2022 13:58

@stairgates well that's what I was thinking. In the hope that this would give our son time to grow up a tiny bit more before a new baby arrives! I'm told it gets a bit easier after 2.5-3 years?? 🙏

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