I'm so irritated by this negative mum

[Flamingoose]

Chatting to a mum at the school gate. She says her daughter wants to try a new sport this year. I said that my dd is really enjoying hockey.

"OH!" says this mum, "We tried that last year and did not have a very good experience."
I asked what went wrong.
"Well," she says, "We didn't have a proper coach, just a couple of high schoolers who weren't very organised or good at contacting the parents. They didn't always make it to the games so one of the parents would have to step in. I just felt the whole thing was a waste of time."

So. Those high schoolers are a couple of absolutely lovely lads who get a bus to the primary school before school once a week to coach the kids and then come to the games at the weekend to coach (except when they can't because of Covid). They don't get paid. This isn't even their old primary school. And the reason they're not completely brilliant at communication and being organised is because they're fifteen! I am so impressed by them, and my daughter thinks they're brilliant.

I was taken aback at the time and mumbled that I think they're great. But the more I think about it the more outraged I am that she could be so sniffy. Coaching is such an awesome way to give back to a sport you love, and goodness teens are busy enough these days. I cannot believe that anyone would be anything but grateful and encouraging.

Anyway. I know this is a stupid little non-issue, but I'm grumpy about it so I'm posting it here instead of moaning to anyone who might know her.

The teen coaches sound great - good on them, but lack of communication and coach not turning up, even if its a free or cheap activity (do you pay anything at all, for the pitch, insurance etc?) can be annoying, so I get her point.

It sounds like she would prefer something more structured because. Amaybe she doesn't have a lot of time and wants to make sure it's not wasted. That's her perogative.

Hmm. Maybe. But our daughters are 9 and trying a new sport. This is not the big leagues. The coaches only didn't come to the games when they had Covid!

It is her prerogative to choose something else, yes, but I still take issue with her moaning about the coaches. They do a great job coaching, and I don't expect them to communicate with me about game times etc because they're 15 and already giving up 2 hours of their week plus traveling.

She was expecting a different experience, that's ok. You're happy with how it's run and that's ok too. They sound great and I would be happy with that too but lots wouldn't be

TBF I would feel exactly the same as her, and would move my child to a different club for those reasons.
If you can't do something properly then don't bother at all, it sounds like they are trying their best and I'm not knocking them personally, but they don't have the experience or expertise to coach.

Sounds like the teenagers are great but need some adult support. The coaches not turning up to games will hardly encourage the kids, especially those who are feeling a little unsure of the whole thing.

I think it's ok to feel different and expect different things.
I don't think she's negative, she just have different expectations from you.

I get it OP, and I like your attitude! It’s great to be a person who sees the good in people and grasps situations in the round, ie it’s fab that the boys are doing something good for the community, your daughters are having fun, and while ‘the service’ might not be perfect the net effect is enjoyment and positivity!

The spoilers are those who expect things to be perfect if they are paying for them, and will always overlook the non-measurable, un-costed, genuine, positive human interactions because they are short of time, patience or general good cheer! Leave them to it!

Was she perhaps expecting something a little more "professional", as in a club run for profit from which you would have certain expectations? My DD does gymnastics, which we pay for, and I would not be hugely impressed by coaches not turning up or not communicating.

But, if the hockey is free, and it is widely known that it is being run by teenagers, who are doing it free of charge, I would be far more understanding. Has she just misunderstood what it was about?

Her expectations are way out of whack! She needs to be more realistic. It’s hardly as if she way paying for it

Is it something that you pay for @Flamingoose ?

That would hugely shape my opinion.

I wouldn't come on to Mumsnet if negative mums irritate you. It's one big race to the bottom on here.

I can appreciate that it must have been frustrating to miss out on communication and the coaches not turn up. Age really can’t be an excuse; they are either mature enough to run the sessions which means doing all the necessary admin work or they aren’t. They clearly want to encourage others to play hockey but it’s a shame that they have inadvertently put someone off. I’d be surprised if there aren’t others who are a bit annoyed by it all well.

At the same time, good for those teenagers to be out there running the sessions. I appreciate they don’t get paid but do those playing have to pay?

She's entitled to her opinion. She wants something more organised. If you like it, great.

You need to be more assertive op.
'Oh, I think it's awesome of them given they're volunteers. I'm happy with it, we get to pay less so works for me. I hope my child gives back to the community like that. Did you find a new club where you pay more so the adults are paid?'
Or, if it is an expensive club, then she might have a point. Note though - full size astros cost a fortune to hire - it's about £300 an hour I think for ours.

Truer words never spoken 😂