Small talk at wedding - such an effort.

[Positivefuture2]

Although, I would describe myself as an introvert, I'm not shy and can chat to anyone, but I find it a huge effort to make constant small talk. I was at a wedding recently and although I chatted to everyone I needed to, it got to a stage where I was done and just wanted to retreat and was exhausted with it all. Is this my introversion kicking in, am I unusual or does anyone else get like this? The minute I arrived at the wedding, I felt like here we go, I need to 'turn myself on now'!

I think it's a common feeling. I have trained myself to be less introverted by forcing myself to chat and engage. But the most exhausted I have ever been was after my DS's wedding. I spoke to EVERYONE and found it a real effort. I smiled and laughed and had a great time but the effort of so much engagement did me in!
Well done for switching it on and rolling up your conversational sleeves!

I think lots of people are like that. I'm very extrovert and will happily chat to anyone anywhere but still find long events such as weddings drain me after a few hours. I don't get the "need to turn myself on" thing though.

I completely understand. Small talk is painful, although I can do it well and for lengths of time. Also get the whole I have to be "on" now to get through certain situations. Just do what you have to afterwards to recover. At least you have the skills to do it and the self-knowledge that you need to recover afterwards.

Yes, weddings are peak ‘small talk’ and even plenty of extroverts dislike this aspect!

pressure to speak to guests was worst things about my wedding. Combined with ‘face blindness’ and a large no of guests I didn’t know (not my preference).

weddings i’ve enjoyed the most were those where I only interacted with people I already knew and liked!

I won't go to ANY large social events now, not unless my best friend was getting married or something where I know I'll know a good 75% of the room. Fuck that, I'd rather walk around alone in a forest. This pandemic has made me just accept who I am.

I used to be quite shy and have now got to the point where dinners, drinks, and parties with small talk don’t worry me but weddings I find the same as they’re just so long! Other events are more like 3-4 hours but weddings are like a marathon. I went to a family wedding recently and knew lots of people so it was lovely yet still found the all day socialising quite draining.

Goodness! I’m a major introvert but I’m happy to meet new people at a social occasion. Who knows, if you can be arsed to chat you might a) learn something interesting b) laugh at a funny story c) find a new friend d) etc. I’ve been to things where no-one will speak to strangers; if you’re on your own and don’t know people that’s really hard work.

‘a) learn something interesting b) laugh at a funny story c) find a new friend….’

Yes of course, could happen, but odds much higher that it’s dull small talk, at best.

Agree that attending events alone (or in a couple) where one knows no one or few people is hard work.

I always did ‘make the effort’ with strangers at weddings but almost never enjoyed this aspect. As with work events and big social events with acquaintances/strangers.