If you ‘cloth bum’, work full time, cook from scratch…

[Thinkingahead8]

…..Please can you enlighten me to your routine?

Due back to work in 2 months when DC2 will be 9 months. DH and I both have moderate commutes so she will be in nursery from 7am. DC1 in breakfast club. We will all get home around 6-6:30pm. Both DC will have had a snack around tea time but will need dinner. DC1 is already falling asleep on the journey home and is asking for bed as soon as he gets home so dinner needs to be quick.

We use cloth nappies and wipes and have no idea how to incorporate that into the routine as well. On top of that, how do you fit in housework? We have a decent 50:50 split on housework currently, despite me being on mat leave as we just stuck to our usual tasks.

Are there any top tips or routines to help us keep on top of it all?

Putting a wash on overnight to be ready for 6am has been revolutionary for us: wake up > bung in tumble > make/eat breakfast and shower/get ready > tumble finished throw clothes upstairs to deal with later > out the door.

We’re not full time - I’m 70% and DH is 80% so your set up will be harder than outs. We both commute though and I do long shifts. We use cloth nappies and try and cook everything from scratch, but don’t always succeed. DS in nursery 3 days/week.

Re cloth nappies: I suppose it depends on your washing routine. We do a quick, hot wash daily then a full, cooler wash every 3 days. All the nappies go in the machine the night before with detergent ready to go. The night nappy then gets chucked in in the morning and wash on. They sit in the machine until we are home, then get chucked in an airing basket. On D3, the long wash gets put on as soon as we are through the door from work and hung up that night. I would kill to have space for a tumble drier!!

Re: cooking. Are you sure they will need full blown dinner after nursery? The main meal is lunch and tea is usually something lighter, but DS has always been fine with a snack plate on getting home - they eat so often at nursery he never comes home starving and is usually desperate for bed. Cheese on toast with some cucumber and strawberries is our usual go to. Otherwise we tend to do a lot of cooking Sunday afternoon which then goes in the fridge or freezer.

We have a cleaner and try and stay on top of things on our off days (which is a luxury you don’t have, sadly!) or evenings, or weekends when grandparents are around. The house is not how I would like it but I can’t do much more!

Good luck on your return to work.

Would a nanny be affordable and a better option for 2 kids? That would mean children aren't out early/returning late and a nanny would feed them dinner and do their laundry.

Thank you both for the tips. Washing/prepping the wash overnight is definitely one to take on board!

I’m regards to dinner, DC1 gets toast and fruit at after school club around 5pm so will be ok with a small something or skipping it. When he was at the same nursery that DC2 will be at, it was something like breadsticks or crackers and veg sticks at 3pm so DC2 will definitely need dinner once he’s a bit older.

I'd put a wash on as soon as I got home and hang it up later in the evening, and put the previous load away (after kids bedtime).

For dinner, either quick family meals (fresh pasta, gnocchi, baked potatoes, something I'd batch cooked at the weekend) or something easy for the DC (as above - pasta, baked potato, etc.) then do proper cooking once they're in bed. And ideally cook enough that there are leftovers so we have another cooked meal ready for lunch or dinner the next day. Batch cook one or two things at weekends.

For housework, it's just a washing on, washing hung up, washing folded and put away, dishes washed, and cooking that gets done on weekday evenings. The rest is done at the weekend.

I also wonder if a nanny would be a better option. They could also do things like swimming lessons and other clubs after school so that your weekends could be freed up a bit.

I wash the nappies every three days, LO has tea at nursery, so I collect her 5:45, bring her home, 30min cbeebies while I put the carbs on for us, wash her, teeth, bed, once she in bed put nappy wash on for the prewash on day three, get food out of the slow cooker, eat, make LO's tea for following day (often previous days left overs), husband washes up, I tidy, sort out slow cooker for following morning, long nappy wash on, bed, wake at 6:30, hang out nappies, put slow cooker on, get baby up, leave 7;15 ish. I keep a stock of soup for me at work.

I have two friends who both work FT, as do their partners.

Friend 1 takes it as it comes, cooks for DC as soon as they all get home, if DC too tired she or DH will eat their food. She's very relaxed, housework gets done if she hasn't got anything better to do.

Friend 2 and her DH work longer works, leaving before 6am and 7am each. She's very organised. Saturday mornings are for housework and three lots of washing. Sundays she has MIL and DM around all day, but they accepts she's also going to spend all day making cakes and meals for the week, as well as any other washing and ironing (I think they're just grateful to have a change of scenery for the day). Meal is defrosted and ready to heat up immediately on return and she then sits down with a cup of tea! I don't know where she gets her energy from though, Friday evenings will go and see her Mum and still be able to meet up for a night out later.

I would advise, if possible, sending both kids to a childminder or getting a nanny (often not more expensive than nursery if you have two kids) who does the kids' teas. Then you can spend a bit of time with them before putting them to bed then doing your own dinner. Also get a cleaner. Have a look at BBC Good Food, easy meals, fewer than 5 ingredients etc. When they are a bit older you can all eat together in the week.

Better still, long term if you/DH can get a job where you don't have a commute or work part time. Commuting every day when FT is a nightmare, especially when you have to get back for a specific nursery pick up time.

I would also recommend spending money on a decent cordless vacuum - can whizz round the house and make it look much cleaner in a few minutes.

I meal plan very carefully and on the longer days of the week, use a slow cooker or one-pot recipe. Load the dish washer in the evening to go on overnight and emptied in the morning. Washing we do 1 load of washing and drying per day, let 3 baskets stack up and then put it away twice a week which the DC help with to a degree.
DH and I make sure once the DC are in bed that any chores are done before we sit down, but the house is fairly tidy as we're not there in the day most days.
Bathrooms are cleaned when required, kitchen wiped down daily but this takes 2 minutes. Hoovering and dusting on a Sunday, takes maybe half an hour?
Don't fill your weekends with lots of activities as you can get a lot more done with some free time and feel less rushed the rest of the week

After nursery, I wouldn't bother with a full meal for DC. They will be tired and probably not that hungry. I did tend to feel the need to up their veg/fruit intake for the day though so would either give DD a bowl of soup (batch cooked at weekends really really simply by chucking bags of frozen soffrito and frozen butternut/sweet potato into a pan with oil, butter, a little stock and freezing in small portions) or porridge/weetabix with fruit.

Re: quick dinner you could try to batch cook during the weekend and freeze in portions. I normally prepare tiny individual portions of lasagne, cottage pie, etc
Of course you can also sometimes offer pizza or nuggets.
Probably not of help if they had a cold tea already, but for me it's been revolutionary to know that you can freeze sandwiches! I read it on this forum last year and it's just absolutely great. I bought some slim sandwich boxes and I prepare at least 3 when I buy fresh bread (already cut up, as my son likes them). I freeze them and they are ready for impromptu days out, or situations when I need to think about food quickly before leaving home etc

Re: housework, we do the bare minimum during the week such as hoovering every night, wiping down kitchen top/sink, take the rubbish out, make the beds in the morning, daily washing machine and dishwasher.... Then we take turns on Saturday morning to take our son out, so that the other one will do a blitz of more serious cleaning (bed changing, floor washing, clean bathroom...).
Online grocery shopping with regular weekly delivery is a life saver.

PP said cordless vacuum, I love mine. It makes it so quick and easy and does make the house look better.

Would you have time to batch cook maybe once a month? Freeze things in individual portions? My life is no where near as hectic as yours so I don't know what will work, but it sounds like you are doing a great job.

I use the tumble dryer for all inserts, liners and cheeky wipes. It's quick, but becoming expensive (something I'll have to consider when my fixed rate ends)
So much faster than hanging everything out.

Sometimes we sit and stuff the nappies together whilst watching TV in the evening when the kids are in bed.

Sometimes we are less organised and stuff as we go.

Everyone is different, but I decided early on that I was NEVER going to spend my weekends batch cooking (and I didn't have the freezer space either) and would prefer to plan easy meals for the week - you don't need to do it for a specific day but knowing I had the ingredients for 5 or 6 meals and what I was going to cook really helped (I still do this now and DDs are teenagers). Also once you've got several weekly food plans you can rotate them.

Honestly, that routine sounds like very hard work for the whole family and much as I admire the ethos behind cloth nappy use, if that absolutely had to be the family’s schedule I would be doing everything I possibly could to reduce the domestic demands on our time and maximise time spent with kids and my energy for them. Cloth nappies would be amongst the first thing to go!

OP, not really the point of your post but do have a plan should the baby / child be sick. The thing that no one ever prepared me for is how often babies/children in nursery get sick. For the first 9-10 months of nursery DS had bug after bug, meaning time off work.

I also think you need to lower your expectations re meals, cloth nappies, etc and just do the best you can / whatever gets you through.

As an aside, is it just me who gets itchy teeth at the phrase ‘cloth bum’?!

@TiddleyWink nope!

I’m not comfortable with the washing machine or dishwasher being on overnight while we are all asleep upstairs because of the fire risk. I set the dishwasher going as I’m leaving for work and use the timer function on the washing machine so that the cycle finishes when I get home (I’d rather the house didn’t burn down while I’m at work either but it’s the lesser of two evils!). Then I put the washing out and leave it overnight and the next day. I get it in when I get home.

This was us ( a long time ago). Nappy bucket, hot wash every few days and hang out/on airer. Didn't have a tumble dryer. Food - feed kids something quick but reasonable when you get in and make yours later (maybe while one partner focusing on bath and bed?). Or you can always cook for the following night once kids are in bed or even if they're up with you. Would chuck the hoover and mop round at weekends. I'd suggest a robovac might be your friend. None of you are there much so how dirty is your house going to get, realistically?

Having done this in the past I would say lower your expectations and accept it is just not possible to be out of the house 12 hours a day and do everything else, that way lies madness.

I switched to a childminder and she fed my DC she was actually cheaper and nearer for travel. DC always had something for when they came in and then the evening was spent with DC and it was usually after bed time that we had our meal. We didn't batch cook in one go as such but when we cooked we made double and froze for another day. We used frozen veg or quick meals like pasta and a sauce but did not have the energy to always cook from scratch.

I paid for a cleaner and let my standards slip between visits, no one came to any harm. I paid for ironing, only stuff that needed it but as we both wore uniform it was a godsend. We loaded the dishwasher and washing machine before bed, usually only when we had enough to fill it and emptied it at breakfast time. We didn't want our weekends spent doing housework, cooking and admin as we saw so little of each other during the week.

We did have a routine and I think half the battle is won if you are 50 / 50. I am an organised person but found sticking to a regime for years was exhausting. I have to admit when I had DC2 I took a career break, the cost of childcare, cleaner, ironing, travel, work costs and tiredness were so high we took the hit.

Wash on overnight, hang up in the morning. Nappies one day clothes the next.
Pre prep easy meals. If the kids have had a hot lunch at school/nursery could they have toasties/sandwiches/soup in the evening? If you're cooking something do double so you can have leftover the next day.
Will your budget allow for a cleaner? If not keep your 50:50 and do it in the evenings?

Similar situation here OP, except I will be working 4 days (30 hours) so not quite full time which I appreciate does make it easier!

During the week we get up, get dressed and out of the house for 7.15. Depending when I’m up I sometimes hang the washing out before leaving, otherwise I do it at night (or tumble dry in winter if we can afford it!) Put slow cooker on or take meal out of freezer ready for later.

Take coffee & toast/ smoothie to have on commute, kids get breakfast at childcare (one in nursery, one school breakfast club). Both kids get lunch at nursery/ school and I have supply of soup/ crisps/ apples at work for lunch.

Pick them up on way home (around 5pm), they will have eaten already but might want something small so I’ll put them infront of the tv for half an hour whilst I sort them something to eat and finish our dinner off - they will have toast/ crumpet/ egg/ beans/ soup/ pasta or anything that only takes a few minutes to prepare. I’m happy they are being properly fed in childcare.

After food, baths and bed, I’ll sort the washing by which time DH is home. I have a large 10kg washer so alternate between washing normal clothes/ nappies etc so I don’t have to do more than one wash a day. Wash nappies on day 3-4, set main wash to be done overnight ready to hang next morning (try and time this for a weekend/ one other weekday morning where DH is on hand to help).

I cook as much as possible from scratch, preparing at the weekend and after the kids are in bed for the next day. Try and keep meals simple in the week - stir fry, salad, etc. Batch cook and freeze at weekends, use slow cooker a lot. I have started using more frozen veg rather than fresh to save prep time. I do the food shop online during my lunch break.

Neither of us is managing to keep up with other housework (cleaning) so we are getting a cleaner for a couple of hours a week and also someone to cut our grass once a fortnight. These jobs fall lower down our list of “essential tasks” so although we aren’t minted, we are making sacrifices elsewhere to accommodate this.

Sorry for rambling, hope that helps!