Disorgansied people

[GlamGiraffe]

Yes, I am aware and seemingly unable to change. I am completely lacking in organisational skills!

I genuinely do believe to an extent its a brain 'type' but I also have a memory impairment which doesn't exactly help!
I have stuff - too much stuff, loads of things we love so we have what some would consider clutter. Not a ton though.

The disorganisation is our papers are everywhere, I vaguely know their wherabouts but it takes me time to find them, if I can!! I often haven't got a clue where things are. I have stacks everywhere as putting them away means I'll never find them again or even remember they exist . I have problems coordinating and remembering appointments and working out how long transport takes.

My house is actually vey clean, strange as it seems.
I have a cleaner for 6 hours , and some weeks another four if my brain is ill. The situation is apart from kitchen, bathroom, and bed changing (she also seems to have an inexplicable love of the washing machine!), she has to pick up the papers, dust them etc and then put them back exactly as they were.

She does standard cleaning including skirtings, door frames, folding and washing that's dry and just leaving it on the landing.

Question do you know anyone else like this (who is not actually a hoarder)?

I'm scared that when people visit (not in our formal siting room which is fancy and almost always impeccable on days after the cleaner) that the general chaos starts to rapidly decline as I'm trying to find things I've lost again!

I've tried diaries but was losing about 5 a year. The calendar was better but if I made an apt then I was supposed to remember to write it down .
I'm really trying. Its just not working.

My question is what would you think if you came to a house like this, how horrifying is it.? It's obviously clean just a tip🙄

I have cerebral palsy (a brain injury at birth) and have similar issues to you. The problems you describe are very common in brain injuries. I also have a clean but cluttered house.

Changing to having a carer do my cleaning was useful as we built a relationship and she would point out the things my brain skipped over. Like “the pile of post in the hall is a bit big, do you want to sort it while I change the bed?” having that time where we worked together helped me stay on task.

What I have found most helpful though is having a best friend who tells me “I’ve not come to see the house, I’ve come to see you.” When I’m stressing and apologising about the clutter

I had a severe head injury and associated brain damage. I became very disorganised - I acquired symptoms that would be considered in line with dyslexia and dyspraxia. I, like you, tried diaries/planners and found it didn't work.

What worked was doing little, often, having very set routines and planning.

I now religiously sit down every morning do a mindful exercise (I have an app) then I have a little sheet that i made (then printed off reams of them) next to the kettle. So while i am having my tea its there as a reminder to sit while having a cuppa and plan my day.

The page has has a very simple set boxes to fill out. Only one sheet (journaling or binders put me off)

I plan three and only three things I must do (and they MUST be done or they are a 'could do') then three things i could do and things I need to remember . I have a tick list of four things that need doing every day - examples:

do your mindfulness exercise / ten min tidy with a timer / check my google calendar

Any more task or complex systems for managing the day and i can spin out - three for me was the magic number. I also LOVE ticking off things when they have been done :) It's amazing how much you can chip at by getting three solid things done in a day.

It was simple, free and totally tailored to what worked for me. If i have a bad day - invariably i will realise i haven't done my 'list' and my day just fell apart.

Also, the camera on your phone is a really quick and easy way to jog your memory. If you get an appointment card from the GP or hairdresser, take a quick photo. You can add 'check photos' to your daily checklist.

Voice memos are also good using your phone or a small recorder (i.e. buy milk, ring Mum, etc.). Again, add to your daily checklist 'check voice memos'.

@TabithaTittlemouse
Good call about the photos of appoitments. This will definiely work for me.
My problem is memory of recents events (not all of the either) so i do work and there i work on a very specific task so there is no chance of straying, or i work on tje crwative deleopnent side which i am extemely good a. Im very artist and creative. Almost all the creatives i know do have simiar traits, i just have amesia chucked in!
Thanks for the support some of you? Irs useful and i think will work.

Should have been @TheHatinaCat in last post

The best advice you've had on here is that your friends come to see you, not your house. You seem to really care about the disorder and want to solve it and that's a good start.

I wonder if you could use your creative side to your advantage?

Maybe a really snazzy day in the life of @GlamGiraffe with painted reminders?
or beautifully decorated file boxes? That might make you more likely to use them?

I’m surprised at all the posters saying that your post was unreadable, I had no problems at all understanding it. Yes there are mixed up letters and typos but it was still perfectly readable to me.

In answer to your question, no it wouldn’t bother me. If your house was unhygienic or you couldn’t get in rooms for piles of stuff then I’d wonder if you needed support but not for the situation you’ve described.

If it’s bothering you then I’d suggest trying to find a system that works for you. This can be the hardest part. There’s a website called clutterbug which I found helpful in identifying what would help me stay organised.

My close friend with adhd has a box file that she puts every piece of paper that enters the house during the month in. She takes pictures of anything important and has a set hour each week to go through it and action everything. At the end of the month it gets transferred to a ring-binder, she has a ring-binder for each of the past 5 years. Would something like that help with your papers?

Hey all,

We've edited the OP's post now.

Please can we try and remember that there's a real person behind the keyboard? As OP has explained, there are reasons behind posts being a bit muddled.

OP - if you ever need help tidying up, just give us a shout.

Thanks @LilyMumsnet 😊

▪️Google calendar with alerts (handy as can be shared)
▪️Alexa with reminders
▪️Files for paperwork which you can alphabetise and sort chronologically
▪️If you have lots of "stuff" you don't need or us causing stress then order a skip and bin it all

(I read your post no problem BTW.)

Oh yes ...pictures on your phone of Important documents or time sensitive ones.
Tech is your friend really

Paperwork is my bugbear too, but can I ask - how often do you need to actually find something?
I have had all sorts of elaborate filing systems over the years, and stuck to none of them. And then someone, on here actually, pointed out you almost never need any of it again - so chuck it all in a box, and if you do need it, it’s in there!
Life changing!!

I honestly wouldn't think anything.

If I went around someone's house because I liked them as a person I wouldn't judge their ability to be organised.

You've had some great suggestions here about organising. Google calendar is a good one. We do this with ds who have executive function problems.

@GlamGiraffe - one thing that helped me with remembering appointments was putting them straight into my phone’s calendar, and setting alarms to remind me of them.

With regard to the paperwork - could you find a professional organiser who would help you collate and organise all the papers you have in the house now, and set up an easy filing system for you to use going forwards? Or do you have a friend who could help you? I would happily do this for a friend - I am quite good at making lists and sorting things, and actually enjoy it, so being given a massive pile of assorted papers to sort would keep me entertained for hours - and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

I certainly wouldn’t judge someone else’s home - my home isn’t tidy or organised - it isn’t hoarded or dirty, but it’s never going to be a show home - we have too much stuff. I am trying to declutter - but it is going slowly as I have long covid, and get exhausted very quickly. I am trying to tell myself that doing even a little is good - I’ve just done half an hour sorting out yarn in the conservatory, and have a bag of rubbish and two big bags of yarn for the charity shop - but that is me done for the day, and I’m only about one third of the way through the yarn in the conservatory (never mind the yarn hidden elsewhere in the house ).

It is a start, though. And maybe you could make a small start - get a box and go round the house collecting all the piles of paperwork. Don’t worry about sorting it - that is a job for another day - just get it all in one place. Even if you don’t manage to get it sorted soon, finding paperwork should be easier if it is all in one place.

You are coping with a lot, from what you said in your OP, and I want you to know that I think you are doing really well!

Can you give us an example of where you are struggling with memory/recent events. Do you mean, you can't remember what you did in terms of this morning/yesterday/last few days? In what context? Is there a particular area you are falling down?

You could keep a photo diary depending on what you need to remember. So, maybe you want to remember that you posted your ebay parcel, met Kate for coffee then put petrol in your car. Photo diary for that might look like:-
Today's date on calendar
Ebay parcel
Post office
Outside of cafe
Kate
Cappucino and cake
Handwritten date of next meet up
Car
Petrol station
Petrol pump with cost/litres once you've refuelled
Etc.

You could then transfer these details to your diary or a notebook when you get home.

Op, I would be more open with people about your head injury. Tell people your memory/organisation isn't so great and you sometimes need a bit of help/prompting/bit longer to do things. My Mum has problems with her memory and I always tell her to write stuff down/in her diary when we make plans.

The problem with head injury is that you probably look and sound normal so people don't quite get it.

Taking screenshots while you're working is also super helpful...

To capture your entire screen and automatically save the screenshot, tap the Windows key + Print Screen key. Your screen will briefly go dim to indicate that you've just taken a screenshot, and the screenshot will be saved to the Pictures > Screenshots folder.

Agree with all the great tips re open shelving/drawers, pics of apt letters. I think an alexa or google home would be really good for this too! I really agree with tech being the key. Perhaps you could have an ipad/microsoft surface tablet type thing with onenote installed, you can have a digital calendar with reminders set up and you can draw/doodle your day like a normal bullet journal.

Look on youtube or ig for onenote bujo/digital planner!

@TheHatinaCat my memory is transient. I can for example rwmember where i went last night. However earlier thst day and the day prior id completely forgotten we were going and that is was in fact my son's birthday which clearly is a date ingrained in my mind. I had known this a few days ago. Ive lost dozensof diaries over the years as i simply forget what ive done with them or forget im supposrd to consult them. I 'file' thing in safe places but gave not a clue whete they are or that ive done it. My husband asked me to do three things earlier. I went straight to write them down..i could only remember one😬
Part of the reason is that stuff us everywhete is out if sight out of mind. Piles in front of me remund me there might be something to do...

People generally all know about my condition i just think aside of being amesic im also a naturally disorganused person.i think some are!

I think that's where checklists and routines might help you.

So you could have a morning checklist by the kettle which includes 'check calendar for today'. You could also have an evening checklist with 'check calendar for tomorrow'.

In terms of the diary, could you use your phone? Google calendar is brilliant and you can also access it via the web page. I don't use it myself but I'm guessing you could configure it to add events with Siri.

Three to dos from husband? Tell him to write them down for you. That's what I do for my Mum. You could even get a white board or blackboard for this.

There are lots of strategies for memory problems. Look at Headway and AGE UK.

www.headway.org.uk/about-brain-injury/individuals/effects-of-brain-injury/memory-problems/#strategies

Also, I haven't read this book but it does get very good reviews:-

www.amazon.co.uk/Smart-but-Scattered-Guide-Success/dp/1462516963/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=smart+but+scattered&qid=1651595359&sprefix=smart+but+scattered%2Caps%2C103&sr=8-4

Thanks all. Maybe its not as dreadful as i think. Its just even apptoaching a show home and i