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What to do when your DC is being picked on when playing out but the parents don't care?

13 replies

PorkySisyphus · 01/05/2022 20:40

DS is almost 8 and we live on a cul de sac with a green on which all the kids play. There are two boys (one DS's age, one a few years older) who have recently starting ganging up on and picking on DS. This has been verbal and physical.

DS is a chilled out, gentle kid who gets on with everyone. He's a bit different to a lot of the kids round here (i.e. not rough) which is why I think he's become their target.

I've been monitoring the situation from afar and have seen multiple instances of them picking on him for no reason. We're working on DS's resilience and he's making great progress but this isn't the kind of thing where I can just tell him to ignore or shrug off. They're kicking him, pushing him over, calling him a rat and a f**got, telling him his mum is a whore - and that's just this weekend.

I've gone to both sets of parents and explained as calmly as I could what was going on. One set of parents admitted they let their kid (the 7 year old) out and then don't check on him - their house doesn't overlook the green, seemed to be disappointed at his behaviour and assured me they'd sort it. The other parents refused to believe their DS was to blame and gave me similar abuse to what their kid has said to DS.

I don't want to keep DS in (especially with summer hols coming up) as that just seems so unfair to him. I keep encouraging him to play with the other, nicer kids but those kids involve the nasty two in the play so in order to avoid them DS would need to either play on his own or come in.

We don't have a proper garden where he can play safely, just a small yard at front.

EXH is coming round tomorrow morning and says he'll try speaking to the parents again. I don't know if there's any point as I genuinely don't think these people care that their kids are behaving in this way. He thinks it's worth a try.

Has anyone experienced similar? Any advice welcome 🙏.

I would never ever act on it of course but I am fantasising about having the chance for a quiet word with the pair of them 😤

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 01/05/2022 20:57

You say Oi don’t do that.

Maydaysoonenough · 01/05/2022 21:01

Yabu to allow a 7yo out unattended imo.

Rogue1001MNer · 01/05/2022 21:03

You make sure all the children are aware you are there

AnnaSW1 · 01/05/2022 21:10

The first person to post had the answer.

AskingforaBaskin · 01/05/2022 21:14

You need to keep him in. You can not let him be repeatedly assaulted and you need to explain to him that while awful and unfair you can not allow him to be put in a situation where he could end up in hospital.

I'd also call the social services on the kids parents.

PorkySisyphus · 01/05/2022 21:17

under I've done this numerous times. They skulk off (sometimes giving me the finger) and then come back a while later and start again.

I make sure they know I'm watching but it doesn't seem to make any difference whatsoever. I've warned them and reprimanded them but it's water off a ducks back.

Mayday with all due respect, thats bollocks. The green is directly opposite my front door. DS knows he can't go anywhere out of my line of sight and I supervise constantly.

OP posts:
minipie · 01/05/2022 21:17

I think your options are either you go supervise and intervene when they are mean to him, or you keep him in and invite the nice kids over to play at yours.

minipie · 01/05/2022 21:18

Ah cross posted. Just option B then in reality.

thebabynanny · 01/05/2022 21:18

They're kicking him, pushing him over, calling him a rat and a fgot, telling him his mum is a whore - and that's just this weekend.
Fucking hell, that's not the kind of thing an 8 year old needs to be resilient about!

If you don't keep him in, I'd be out there supervising every time these feral children are about.

Fizzyfish · 01/05/2022 21:19

Does he have any bigger, older cousins that might visit and go out to play with him? Or do your friends have any older sons? 🤔

Ivegotalovelybunch · 01/05/2022 21:25

It’s not fair, your son should be able to use the green but the reality is that with those kids there it’s not safe to do so, so stop letting it happen.
organise play dates with his nice friends
these kids aren’t going to change and suddenly become nice kids you want yours to hangout with however many times you tell them off

Notanotherwindow · 01/05/2022 22:30

I got bullied relentlessly for years, to the point where I couldn't even walk to school without getting hassled and my things stolen and once even pushed in front of a bus.

One of the ringleaders my mum collared him, took his phone, called his mother and told her to come and get him and sort him out or she would call the police to have him charged with assault. We were 15 so above the age of criminal responsibility.

The other fancied himself as a hard man, said police didn't scare him. So when my dad caught him on the way to school, shoving me down and spitting on me, he grabbed him by the throat, and threatened to kill him the next time he saw him within 6 feet of me.

Funnily enough word got around to leave me alone after that. Scare the little fuckers. Sometimes violence works.

Stompythedinosaur · 02/05/2022 03:18

It is shit, but it doesn't sound like it is safe for him to play out unsupervised.

Invite friends round, take him to the park yourself, but don't just leave him in a situation where he's being assaulted.

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