Anyone else staying in a marriage for the convenience?

[yappyDappy]

I'm really unhappy in my marriage, however, the thought of leaving petrifies me. I don't earn much as I can't work many hours due to health. I wouldn't be able to support myself and children on my own, wouldn't be able to afford rent, car etc on my own.

The marriage is dead. We sleep in separate rooms, he barely interacts with me or the children. He's hurt me horrendously in the past and I just find him so irritating and unattractive. It's almost like he's a lodger, a guy who just happens to live with us. I do almost everything for / with the DC and the house. Im just really with him for the money as horrible as that sounds. He's not even a high earner so it's not like our lifestyle is amazing. It's not.

He knows I'm unhappy but never does anything to change / improve things - it's always me making the suggestions which he agrees to but never follows through. I'm at a point now where I can't be bothered anymore.

I think we're not compatible at all which he disagrees with but I don't think we are.

Has anyone just stayed in a marriage like this where two people live together but lead separate lives? How has it worked out after so many years.

This is so incredibly damaging for your kids OP and the longer you stay together the more likely it is they'll replicate this relationship dynamic when they are adults as they'll think it's normal. It's not fair on them to stay for your convenience I don't think.

I am in the same place.
chronically ill so I can’t work full time. I’m actually close to give up work altogether.
The situation with DH isn’t great but I’ve moved from being angry to being indifferent.

I think it’s Avery difficult place to be. Saying that you are staying your convenience is NOT a reflection of reality.
The reality of moving out is that you might well not be able to carry on with your part time job and looking after the dcs on our own.
the reality is you’ll have a massive drop in income that will impact your dcs, from access to after school activities, going away on hols etc etc (of course different impact depending in their age). I don’t think it’s negligible.

I can’t tell for you whether staying put is better or worse than being separated. But when you are ill, the consideration you need to have are different imo.

@HiddenFromViewNow Thanks, you totally get where I'm coming from. It really isn't as simple as leave and life will be great. The impact on the kids will be huge. We aren't exactly comfortable now as it is and would dread to think how being even poorer would impact the kids. They get love and attention and a stable home without the added financial worries and impact that would bring.

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