To ask what symptoms your DC had when you first suspected Autism?

[87SPD]

Just that really,

Our DD aged 11 has been suffering from symptoms of what we have put down to anxiety for a very long time but now wondering if this could be traits of Autism, they include: (apologies for the long list)

• Inability to focus in a lesson - zones out to external noises in the corridor or outside
• Very awkward in social situations, not rude at all but just overly forceful on what she is interested in if that makes sense?
• Very polite, shy and extremely well behaved girl and always has been - never had any behavioral issues with her - never pushing boundaries etc On the odd occasion we have had to reprimand her (for something quite trivial) she gets overly emotional and distressed.
• Issues with certain clothing - will not wear anything that she says is too tight, hates labels, used to have full on meltdowns over socks and shoes. We have had to resort to buying second hand trainers from Ebay just so they are 'worn in' as we got fed up of her not wearing brand new ones.
• Get's overwhelmed in crowded and noisy places but this comes across as quite manic where she is hyper 'switched on' and is unable to enjoy the moment. This usually then leads to an emotional meltdown a few hours down the line with her crying but being unable to say why.
• Inability to discuss any kind of feelings what so ever, has never been able to say she feels sad, happy, low even excited.
• She constantly scratches her neck and rubs her nose even more so in a social situation or when asked a question that makes her feel awkward (question being how are you feeling? for e.g)
• Never able to maintain friendships and has admitted she doesn't like to be around too many people - also she gets very annoyed easily by most of the girls in her year.
• Absolutely fixated on football - to the point where she knows every England players shirt number, the times they scored goals, results of the local team from years ago etc. She will talk about this ALL day long bless her!

There are many more.

She is such a sweet and loving girl who never puts a foot wrong and since starting High School last year she is becoming so withdrawn and anxious. I just want to get help and understand her better so she can feel as happy as possible.

Do these symptoms alone seem enough to pursue an assessment or could this be purely anxiety? We have always just assumed she is a unique and quirky little thing

Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)

It’s possible yes, based on what you’ve described. Girls are harder to diagnose as they often mask. So often to school and the outside world they appear ‘fine’ but actually are trying really hard to fit in and adapt. Which is why kids often have meltdowns and anxiety at home.

I think I always knew but it wasn’t until mine started struggling in primary school that I pushed for an assessment. Luckily school were great, I had a meeting with the teacher, we both filled in the relevant paperwork and sent it off. Depends how it works where you live. Where we are there is a 2 year wait to see anyone.

Yes those traits (not symptoms) sound like it's worth pushing for a diagnosis.

i would certainly pursue an assessment.

good luck to you both OP.

Meltdowns after school
Stimming
Sensory issues
No friends
Not understanding social cues

Have to say she's an adult now and is doing brilliantly 😊

Sounds very similar to me and I suspect I am autistic, but never realised until later in life. A few members of my family have been diagnosed so very likely.

I would see the gp. Any help or support you can give her and just for her to understand there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with her. I always felt different to everyone else and never knew why.

Op my dd sounds very similar to yours and I also see a lot of similarities with my dd and the famous Liverpudlian woman (mind blank) who did the documentary about her kids autism . (Dd is very glam like her and people outside of close family would never see the possibly autistic side)
My dd definitely masks, is obsessive and will constantly talk about things we have no interest in though she knows not to do this with peers. She also is very rigid, hates change and has repetitive behaviours .However we didn't push for a diagnosis, I'm not always sure whether we should have but primary school understood my concerns but didn't take it any further . Secondary school was better for her in terms of friends but she hated school - she thrived in lockdown - but has enjoyed the last two years of school. The positive of not pushing for a diagnosis is I think it would have been very hard to broach with her and she does know how to 'fit in' so it hasn't socially caused many issues although academically she has switched off now (about to do GCSEs) and I think a lot of that is she's desperate to finish school rather than for academic reasons . She's predicted ok /good GCSEs but I do sometimes wonder if she'd had some extra support she may have done really well - eg she's predicted a 7 in maths but others are 5s/6s so fine but she's leaving after year 11 for an apprenticeship - again fine but I do wonder whether possible asd has been a barrier to further academic progress .

As a woman with autism I can relate to most of those, seek her some help/gp :)

My son and daughter were diagnosed pretty young at two and a half and just two. I knew there was something different about ds from birth I suppose. My first concerns are recorded in his red book at six weeks. For dd I knew it was autism at eight months but I suspected at four months and she was referred to a paediatrician at twelve months.
For my dd she would share these traits with your dd
Very polite, shy and extremely well behaved girl and always has been - never had any behavioral issues with her - never pushing boundaries etc On the odd occasion we have had to reprimand her (for something quite trivial) she gets overly emotional and distressed
Gets overwhelmed in crowded and noisy places
has admitted she doesn't like to be around too many people (even immediate family stress my dd out so I have to declare no visitor days)
Inability to discuss any kind of feelings what so ever, has never been able to say she feels sad, happy, low even excited.
She is such a sweet and loving girl who never puts a foot wrong and since starting High School last year she is becoming so withdrawn and anxious. (Dd crashed out of high school and attends a small independent specialist school now. Even a class of four is often too much for her)
My daughter doesn't really have strong interests but my son has an encyclopaedic knowledge of football and F1 statistics.
You should ask your GP to make a referral for assessment I think.

I recognise almost everything in your OP in my son who has been diagnosed with ASD. He only difference he has is that he does not scratch, but he fiddles with his hands all the time, he spins, rocks on chairs and is generally very fidgety. Do a self-referral, but be aware the waiting lists are ridiculous even if you opt for a private referral.

Wow I could have written this.

My dd is the same age and sounds very similar to yours regarding personality, school, lockdown, gcses, predicted grades etc etc.

We have never perused a diagnosis as no one has ever brought it up at school or nursery and she manages well socially with a few friendship issues (good at making friends, not so good at keeping them) and no behavioural or academic problems.

Reading the op @87SPD I could say yes to all those for my dd . I wonder if we should have got an assessment..

I carry out autism assessments and everything you've said are traits for autism, especially in girls. I would push for an assessment. Good luck

DS was diagnosed at 15 and sounds really similar to your DD. He's 16 now, and SO much happier in himself now that he understands why certain things are so hard for him. Good luck.

Wow just seen these replies (en route to our little bank hol break so haven’t been able to read through properly yet) will respond when we arrive - thank you all so much though 😊

I would pursue an assessment, if she is happy to cooperate. If she is diagnosed it will hopefully just get her extra time/help etc when she most needs it. You have to think ahead towards GCSE etc
Sometimes parents are scared of a label- but when things go wrong in stressful situations with the children then it is too late to get help quickly for it. The label can lead to extra attention from school staff, accommodation and let them fulfil their potential. Can help with appeals to other schools etc

We are going through the same thing. It’s taken me a long time to spot the signs as girls tend to mask. The frustration is we’ve been told it’s 2 years for an appointment for diagnosis.

There are some traits in there that match my DS(7) who has Aspergers. Not everything, but enough that I would say that it’s worth exploring. Particularly familiar are things like an inability to discuss feelings (he shuts me down), extremely deep knowledge on some subjects, a lack of interest in whether he’s voting other people.

@hiredandsqueak what were you comcerns at 6 weeks and eight months?

@HumunaHey Well ds was my fourth child and so fundamentally my concerns were that he wasn't anything like my others had been. He was stiff, so holding him to feed was like holding a piece of wood, he didn't snuggle into me. He always looked for lights never my face so if I sat in one chair he'd stare at the lamp, if I sat on the sofa, he looked for the ceiling light. He was happiest in his bouncy chair, holding him stressed him out it didn't comfort him. He'd rub his hand on the pram top, so much so he'd rub the skin off his hand (my daughter did the same but with her foot on the bouncy chair).
Dd wasn't anything like ds had been as a baby, I tried not to look too hard but...For dd at four months we went for a photo shoot. In one hour she smiled once at a Tigger toy, neither me, her df, the photographer or the assistant could get a smile. At eight months I took her for her eight month check, she sat in her pram silent and not moving and I watched the other babies interacting with their mums and I just knew. She was often mistaken for a doll as she would sit silent and still in the pram. Her first words at ten months were where, hair and square. Where because I was trying to encourage her to point, Hair because she had a fimble and would fiddle with the hair constantly and square I don't know why but you could show her a shape and she would be silent but could identify a square every time. At twelve months she lost all her skills over the course of four days and could no longer laugh smile wave or clap and GP referred her to ds's paediatrician. After chromosome tests and tests for metabolic disorders came back clear she was referred for a multidisciplinary assessment.

@hiredandsqueak Thanks for your response. It's interesting as common messaging is that you can't tell at such a young ages but many accounts on here, such as yours, prove that wrong.

I suspected in DS2 (now diagnosed with ASD) from very early on, less than a year. There was just something about his lack of eye contact, fascination with mirrors, terrifying temper 😂and as he got older his language was delayed and he was obsessed with a comic book character. His way of speaking is quite peculiar still, albeit fluent.

I'd definitely pursue an assessment for your DD as she reminds me of me (I'm waiting on assessment myself)!

These are definitely traits of autism in a girl so worth speaking to your GP about diagnosis. Please be aware even with diagnosis though that doesn't automatically translate into any kind of "help" if she is coping at school etc. (if that is what you are hoping from diagnosis).

Yes I think this is another reason why we didn't pursue it with our dd as we know the extra support may be patchy especially if can be seen to be 'coping' in school.

Initially we got hearing tests for DD at 1 year old, because she wasn't responding to her name. Then we noticed she wasn't doing much of anything, she was really immobile (no rolling, no crawling, no sitting up).

She was also extremely anxious, if anyone other than me, her dad or my parents held her, she vomited on them, such was her distress. She couldn't be comforted, and didn't seem bothered whether we were there or not, she just didn't like "new" people.

She was a very good baby on the surface. Hardly ever cried, ate what you gave her, and never fussed if her nappy was soiled. No words at all until she was about 3, and didn't walk independently until she was 2 and a half. Even now at 4 she holds your hand going everywhere.

Also showed no interest in other DC, general playing or pointing at things up until about 4. The autism diagnosis, together with global development delay came when she was 2 years 3 months, and I was shocked as I'd never suspected it (then again, I had no idea about autism previously).

I’d say go private as it’s will take more than 2 /3 yrs plus on nhs …. Maybe ASD, inactive adhd and SPD based on what you have wrote.

The easiest one is checking inactive adhd as you can medicate for that if you want to (help with focus of school work) the other things you have to learn to live with but it’s nice to have an understanding- that will cost you around £4k in uk.

Yes traits but also consider ADD and ADHD
Lots of similar overlap.