Unsettled kids - moved - how can I help them?

[Unsettled77]

We’ve moved out of our old house and are staying with family as there was a(n endless) delay with our sale.

Our kids have left their school and are waiting to start their new one in the new area. I’m home schooling them temporarily - they’re 4 and 6 so it’s fine (the 4 year old is in reception so we’re not doing much home schooling, to be honest!).

I’m not worried about their lack of schoolwork in the least, but I’m worried about their mental health. They’re very unsettled, acting up, older one is not sleeping well, and I’m feeling guilty. They say they miss their home. They don’t talk about missing friends or anything, but they miss their beds and their bedroom.

What can I do to help them?! We’re probably still another 2 weeks off our sale and I have decided it’s better to stay with grandparents (a place they love and they were excited to come to) than an Airbnb or a short term rental in the new area, and then move again when the sale completes.

Help! I feel so bad!

Anyone?

Keep them busy, treat it like a holidayas much as you can maybe picnics in the garden/park, rambling in the woods, even watching movies with popcorn curled up on sofa's and maybe go to a store and start choosing new things for their new bedrooms, let them be involved. They will adjust.

Get them in a routine. Wake up at the same time each morning and get ready for the day, as you would if going to school. Then do the same things each day e.g. some reading, some writing, done maths, a walk, screen time, lunch. Then I would have a trip out each afternoon (park, beach, woods, library, shops etc.).
Children like to know what’s happening and a routine help with this. I would make a little visual time table to show what’s going to be happening each day.

I moved my DD at 3 and she was unsettled for weeks. Kept asking to go home and trying to lead me there (we moved about 2 minutes away). She hated our new house and made me carry her everywhere.

I think there's no way around it, you just have to empathise and sympathise and talk it all through.

They will definitely be absolutely fine, just need lots of support.

What pp said, turn it into an adventure, talk it up.
Stop feeling bad. you’ve been able to give them security, surrounded by people who love them during an unsettling time. You’re lucky to have that safety net and seem to be doing a decent job. Your kids are feeding off your feelings and you need to change the narrative here.

I think you’re right about them feeding off my stress! I have tried to hide it, but the move has been incredibly stressful. Lost sales, huge delays, you name it.

I really like the idea of turning it into an adventure - I will plan to go to new places they haven’t been before nearby.

And we have no routine right now - school stuff is quite scattergun (though fine) and so is everything else including wake-up times and bedtimes have gone out the window a bit!

We’re so lucky to have my parents. They’re very supportive and my children adore them.

Thank you - I will put a routine in place and try and make it seem like a fun adventure!

I moved my kids quite a bit and I think you are right that routine is really important. Food, sleep and exercise really are the most important things. I used to acknowledge their worries and I never pretended that it would be easy. Lots of expat parents often say that kids are so adaptable but I don't think that's true of all kids.

I used to run through lots of scenarios with them and try and get them to think how moving to a new school might play out for them.