Should I change my name back to my maiden name?

[IrisJoy]

I got divorced about 10 years ago now. Never changed my name as dc were quite young.
they are older now and it has always been in the back of my mind that I would change my name back at some point.
One dc doesn’t mind, and the other wants me to because they say they would change theirs but wouldn’t do it if I didn’t change mine.
That makes it feel like it’s a bit of a two fingers up at xdh’s family, which I don’t feel the need to do. It also feels like a faff and just a bit pointless? But the fact that I keep thinking about it makes me think that I do want to do it.
Neither name is bad but I probably do prefer my maiden name.
I just can’t decide what to do, so any thoughts are appreciated!

Yes, I would, you'll just keep thinking about it otherwise.

Yes, you should do what you want. It isn't an insult to your exh's family - they probably wouldn't even care. And what they think isn't more important anyway.
The only thing to consider is whether it would be difficult in terms of qualifications being in married name for ex

Yes I have some qualifications in married name, but surely, if I change it by deed poll, I’d get some sort of proof of change of name and you supply that? Like when you show your marriage certificate to prove name change when you get married?

It’s not me changing my name that would upset them, but dc doing it, but I guess that’s not really my concern.
they don’t have a good relationship with their dad so it’s just a sensitive area

I’d talk with your DC and make sure they know that just because you want to change your name, that doesn’t mean you think they should. You want to change your name because you’re going back to the one that was yours at birth. But for them, their name is as much theirs as it is their dad’s - they have equal rights to it and shouldn’t just think now that they have “his” name. It was yours at the time too - it was part of both of you.

Maybe they might like to add your surname in as an additional middle name, to acknowledge it? Or of course if they really want to change their names they can go ahead - it just might be helpful to make sure they know that just because you are, you wouldn’t “judge” them for keeping theirs.

I divorced last year and have changed back to my birth name. I also have grown up DCs and they have been fine with it.

I've been able to use a combination of my decree absolute and my birth certificate to change just about everything, haven't needed a deed poll. Even my passport application just needed me to type up a couple of sentences confirming the name I'll be using 'for all purposes' in future.

My tip would be to start with bank accounts and utility bills as passport and driving licence want bank statements or bills in the new name.

Good luck!

If I got divorced I would change my name back. My maiden name is nicer and easier to spell !

I changed my name back as soon as I got divorced.

my DC have patiently waited till they turned 18 and have also changed their names to mine.

it’s really not down to me to big up ex, if he has not attempted to form a loving and supportive relationship with his own children such that they feel like they want my name not his, I’m not going to invalidate tiger feeligg no a about it.

both my children are adamant they do not want their qualifications and professional reputation to be linked to their fathers name.

and that is fair enough.

I changed mine to something completely new. Adult kids are cool with it. Their dad isn't a complete arsehole though, but his family are and that was the connection I wanted to cut.

Double check this but I don't think you need a deed poll change. As I understand it, your original name is still legally your name and the use of your married name is a social convention that is also allowed legally. So you could use either or both and so long as you can prove who you are you don't need to do anything legally.