Almost 10yo Ds completely lost the plot at school drop off this morning. It took 30 mins of me and the principal talking to him to get him in. I've been waiting all morning for a call but thankfully he must have settled. When he was at nursery and up to about yr2 he would sob every day going in after being peeled off me but would be fine after about 15 minutes and came out happy as Larry. I want to do everything possible to avoid going back to that.
Thinking about it, there are some triggers that may have all hit this morning - dh is away for a few days, which he hasn't been in about a year. Dh does most of the school drop offs and when I do we are usually driving, so it's a hit and run. This morning we were walking and a but late so once we hit the school campus I sent the kids running ahead while I followed with the dog, planning to wave through the fence as they went into the building. Ds was almost at the gate when he came running back to me, sobbing. His first worry was about a couple of the boys who are very into football giving out to him that he's not as good when they play at lunchtime. This has come up a few times before so I said I'd talk to the teacher and see if we can make a plan. He seemed OK. Then I walked him to the gate. He got about half way along the yard and as I about to turn he came running back, sobbing again and for the next half hour kept saying he was worried something would happen to me while he was at school. I did the usual, explaining how I was walking the dog home then working at home for the day. I'm not his responsibility to worry about, his job is school, etc. I asked him when he started worrying about me and he said it was a couple of weeks ago when he "choked" on a piece of fruit when I was outside talking to a neighbour. He came straight out to me and was fine by the time he reached me, but was understandably shaken by it.
I know being overly empathetic when he's very caught up in emotion can be counter productive for him so trying to be practical, I told him I needed him to go in today to ask the teacher for particular instructions for an activity they are doing tomorrow and if he didn't go in we wouldn't know what to do, etc. He calmed a few times but immediately started crying again and clinging on to me as soon as I encouraged him to go in or he started down the path. Eventually the principal very kindly strong armed him into the building (he had stopped crying at this point). It occurred to me later that his best friend's grandad died last week and although friend is dealing with it well, and he hasn't mentioned it, it might be playing on his mind.
Sorry for such an essay but I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions for how to manage the immediate aftermath of this? I know he will be fine at pick up and for the afternoon but I can see it all playing out again in the morning (dh is away until Saturday so can't go back to the regular routine til next week) if I don't do something to try to reassure or help him work through this sooner rather than later.