What's it like to go on holiday alone?

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I have had a bit of a crap year. I'm turning 30 and I'm not doing very well with it- I've never had a boyfriend and I feel so much like I've failed. I am really lonely and longing to be settled down. I caught Covid in school (I'm a teacher) and I'm still struggling health wise.

I really want to go on holiday and lie in the sun, but I don't have anyone to go with. All of the friends I would have asked aren't available, especially during the school holidays. My mum did offer, but she's very anxious about travelling and teetotal.

Am I only going to sit on the plane/beach/balcony looking sadly at all the couples and families?

I've lone travelled loads! Bring a book, go for a swim, go sightseeing and try new food.

Part of that sounds lovely. I think during the day I would be ok, but meals and night time I don't know if I can cope with the loneliness.

i do it a lot, its great, no one to bug you, no one who you need to consider, no arguments about what the days plans are or where to go for food etc
i have music and books and lie at the beach or pool

I go away a lot alone because I get more annual leave than my other half and friends and don't have kids.

I usually go in this country on hiking/cycling trips and have a great time doing my own thing.

I have only been abroad alone once and I have to say I didn't enjoy it as much and did feel a bit lonely which is something I never feel in the UK. Not quite sure why that was.

It's fabulous. Nobody to accommodate, decisions wise. Restaurants can usually always find you a space because you're alone and therefore a faster eater.
So much silence and time to do just what you want.

Off to look at silent retreats.

Did it a lot even after I married (OH doesn't like hot places) it was fine. I didn't lie in the sun much, tended to go trips, evenings were meals and entertainment, if it wasn't organised there was usually someone else to go with.

Take care and keep yourself safe.

All I have is bloody silence and time to do what I want, I am desperate to make accomodations with someone!

What about booking an adventure holiday or just a bit of island hopping in Greece or somewhere with a company like Intrepid? You'd be in a group but can dip in or out as much as you want. Might be good for your first solo trip. Going away alone doesn't bother me! I take a book to read but normally end up chatting to people!!

Sorry forgot to post the link! www.intrepidtravel.com/uk/greece

I've done it, I like to pretend I'm a busy business woman or a writer or someone very important, this is my week to decompress from all my very important busy stuff but I still have to take my laptop and catch up on important emails/writing which I like to do while I eat at the restaurant. Makes me feel like less of a loner!

Have you thought of trying something like Flash Pack? They run group holidays aimed at solo travellers in their 30’s and 40’s. Lots of choice on destinations and type of holiday

I Second group travel companies - intrepid was good my favourite were with explore www.explore.co.uk met lovely people and have lovely memories and adventure to tell others - I think exodus is another company.

I loved it when I went. Why would you feel lonelier at night in a hotel room than you do in your own house?
If you feel awkward about eating alone, have your main meal in the day when you might feel less self conscious and then have sandwiches/takeaway in your room/on your balcony in the evening. Or bring a laptop and pretend you're working.
Maybe stay in a private room within a hostel - cheap and you can chat to people/hang out in the main room but retire to your own room if you want to relax.

I've been and I loved it. So nice to do your own thing!

Could you do a group walking/cycling tour in somewhere like Spain and then add on some days on the beach by yourself?

I've had loads of holidays alone. It's bliss. You do what you want, when you want, without anyone getting in the way. I mostly do cruises, so get company at the evening meal, and can either do stuff with people or alone as I fancy. But I've also done hotel stays: I tend to eat at the inhouse restaurant (if it's decent) and take my kindle with me to ward off annoying people. Think my first solo cruise I was about 30.

I have travelled a lot of places as a solo female traveller - I loved it and it definitely was liberating and a massive confidence boost. It also helped me learn more about myself (sorry that sounds cringe).

My advice would be to go somewhere that is interesting with lots of things to do instead of just a beach holiday. You will spend your day exploring and so the focus isn't on evenings out. Nothing to say you can't go out for a drink in the evening but you do have to be a bit more aware as a female solo traveller.

What worked well for me was travelling around a place and only spending one or two nights before moving on.

Also (this is subject to your own personal taste) try a hostel for a night or two with a shared dorm. I know there is a pre-conception that it's only for teenagers on gap years but it really is not. You will meet so many people who are travelling about. I am super introverted and even I found it a great and enjoyable way to chat, go out for dinner or drinks and have a bit of social interaction.

There are a lot of great blogs about travelling independently as a woman so definitely check these out.

I think it's more that I already feel so lonely in my own house!

I couldn't do week long hikes or cycles or excursions. I'm really struggling with dizziness, exhaustion, fatigue and aches and the summer term is not a relaxing one.

I would like somewhere that I could wake up, have a really nice coffee and pastry for breakfast, go for a walk around a pretty town, have lunch, settle by the pool for the afternoon.

But what do you do at night time?

I absolutely love it. DP has a very full-on, time consuming hobby which takes up a lot of his free time & annual leave so while he’s off doing that I go on holiday by myself.
I have been to just about every major city in Europe and done solo road trips in Europe, the US & Canada. I’m perfectly happy in my own company, I can go wherever I want & do whatever I want whenever I want. In the evenings I take my book or my iPad to restaurants and have a very enjoyable solo dinner keeping an eye on the silent middle-aged couples who have nothing left to say to each other….

Bloody hell those Intrepid trips are so expensive

What about staying in the UK to start with? Find a lovely coastal cottage, lots of walks, little cafes, pretty villages-somewhere like Yorkshire maybe or west Wales, national trust properties. In the evenings you can get cosy infont of the fire. Then build up to abroad next year.

Yeah, like someone else said, going somewhere in the UK definitely doesn't seem as daunting!

I would just love some of that proper Mediterranean heat.

I've gone away on my own for a relaxing holiday a number of times, and also done some travelling solo which was also fab! I've also gone on an STA type holiday (but as part of a couple) and there were ppl on their own there & that was good so all of the above are a good way to get away I think!

I find the first 24 hours the hardest. But other than that I've enjoyed it. The worst bit is not Having anyone to take photos of you at places.

In Southern Europe you just go out - in the summer people (everyone from 5 to 85)goes out for a walk and might stop for ice cream/a coffee/a drink. Shops tend to be open in the evening too. I’ve done the group tours mentioned above and would encourage you to have a look (not all involve hiking by any means and you could do a short one and tag a beach holiday on to the end) and have also done city breaks by myself. Loved it as you can absolutely please yourself. In Amsterdam I went on an evening canal boat tour, in Dublin I went to the theatre. If you really hate going out in evenings then take an Ipad with downloaded films and have room service every night but I’d encourage you to try going out by yourself. You’ve nothing to lose! I finally met someone when I was 35 and all my travels gave me lots of things to chat about with him on our first date!

Ok, that's reassuring! Thank you.