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Frightened for dm and don’t know what to do

86 replies

JustBloodyListen · 26/04/2022 18:11

My dm started having a bit of a niggling toothache on Friday and decided to leave it until Monday morning before phoning the dentist. By this point her face had swollen right up on one side. She saw a dentist midday on Monday and it’s an abscess but it is too inflamed for her to have anaesthetic injected so he prescribed AB’s and booked an appointment for the following Monday.

This morning she woke up with her face so swollen that he right eye is completely shut. She has a fever and is shivery and said she couldn’t hold her cup of tea because she was so shaky. She phoned the dentist who told her to phone her GP as she may need intravenous AB’s or have the tooth out under GA if the swelling isn’t going down.

DM phoned GP who tells her to phone the emergency dental number. She does this, is told she urgently needs to see a dentist but as she has a dentist she needs to phone him. So she calls her dentist back, she gets another appointment and the dentist explains that he can’t prescribe any other AB’s and he can’t remove the tooth as he cannot inject anaesthetic as it is so swollen. He tells her to relay this to the GP. She speaks to GP again who tells her that he can’t do anything as it’s dental but due to her clearly having an infection she should go to A and E at the hospital.

She gets the bus over to A and E, waits 3 hours to be seen and is finally taken in to see a doctor who tells her to call the emergency dental line (who she already spoke to and who told her to go to her dentist who told her to go to the GP). At this point my dm bursts out crying, explains it all and the doctor tells her to go back into the waiting room and he’ll see what he can do.

Another 90 minutes later and a doctor tells her that it’s likely she’ll need it out under general anaesthetic. Her local hospital doesn’t have a maxillo facial department so he’s made an appointment for tomorrow morning at the hospital 2 hours away from her house.

She is now at home with a clear infection, fever of 40 degrees and sounds barely conscious when I call her. I’ve phoned for an ambulance for her but they said it almost certainly wouldn’t arrive until the morning. She is a 5 hour drive away from me and I have children who I’d have to take with me if I left now. I don’t even have a key for her house so I don’t know what I’d do when I get there if she’s asleep/ unconscious.

What should I do? Am I overreacting? I keep looking at Google and there are so many things saying how dangerous a tooth abscess can be if untreated.

OP posts:
Matchingcollarandcuffs · 26/04/2022 19:37

Of the two I think Ashford definitely better choice to be heading to. Esp as she's got an appt they're anyway.

Hope she's seen quickly

doggiescats · 26/04/2022 19:39

Sorry just seen she is in Ashford ? Call The William Harvey AE and explain the circumstances. Emphasise that she cannot be sent home tonight!

Reallynotgoodatthis · 26/04/2022 19:44

For specialties with fewer numbers like max fax they will probably operate at a few hospitals but only have their on-call service in one which is why she's probably been sent to that one. They wouldn't be able to staff multiple hospitals out of hours.

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Swisscheeseleaves · 26/04/2022 19:47

I've just had a friend go into William Harvey with sepsis. She was in there 3 days and the first 24 hours she was on a chair then a trolley in the corridor in A&E because they couldn't find a bed for her. So i think you really should get on the phone and ask that when she's triaged they call you so you can speak for her. I'm not sure if she's admitted if you'd be allowed in there with her so not sure if it's worth coming with kids in tow. But my friend was able to advocate for herself and she was still left for hours and hours without treatment. I hope your mum can get seen.

Toddlerteaplease · 26/04/2022 19:56

If she's admitted, the children will almost certainly not be allowed in. So don't take them.

dane8 · 26/04/2022 19:57

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 26/04/2022 19:57

JustBloodyListen · 26/04/2022 19:05

@LadyGardenersQuestionTime i told them this and they still said it would likely be tomorrow and that I should try and get her to hospital another way

Jesus. Known infection + new confusion + temp over 39.1 should have triggered potential sepsis = C2 = a much faster response than 5 hours. Sounds like they triaged it as a C3.

Ashford should be fine - assessment, pain relief and antibiotics as first port of call.

If you didn't have other worries I'd be putting in some calls/emails to PALS at pretty much everyone you've tried to get help from. But I appreciate that's the last thing you need to be doing right now.

HardRockOwl · 26/04/2022 20:03

Can you find anyone at all in Kent who can advocate for her? I second posting on a community page - there will be someone who will be able to help I'm sure.

In an emergency, people do pull together and want to assist

Are you able to phone ahead to the hospital? If they even answer ..

Good luck and I'm sure that this will be behind you soonest

3luckystars · 26/04/2022 20:05

Oh the poor woman, I really hope she gets good care at that hospital.

keep trying your sister, do you even know where abouts she is, what about email? Or her workplace? Your mother is very ill. Have you anyone else that could help you so you could go and speak up for her at the hospital?

all the very best.

Stomacharmeleon · 26/04/2022 20:24

Dmed you

Stomacharmeleon · 26/04/2022 20:26

Ok can't work out/ remember how to do it.
Am in Margate if I can help. Particularly if you need a check or someone to ferry.

signsofsafety · 26/04/2022 20:28

What the fuck is happening to our nhs

Well twelve years of underfunding hasn't helped it.

Squidwall · 26/04/2022 20:34

They won't send her back to Margate.

Margate has outpatients maxfax but no Inpatient and I don't think operates an on call service. All Inpatient care/emergency care is done in the William Harvey.

Maxfax should be aware, as it sounds like she is being asked to come in for assessment and possibly urgent surgery tomorrow, she should be a known patient. Even if maxfax aren't aware of her (it sounds like they are) she has a large facial swelling and a temperature, she needs treatment. Ed should manage it as a possible sepsis and treat accordingly, they might not be the best at managing dental abscess but they can manage infection and investigations for sepsis and refer on. How old is she? Even if worst case scenario and no beds she will be in ED, she will get IV abx, tests, scans if needed and fluids. She will be in a safer place than at home, even if less comfortable. Sometimes even just one dose IVs, paracetamol and some fluids is enough if bloodwork is okay.

I hope she gets seen and sorted quickly OP 💖

reallyworriedjobhunter · 26/04/2022 20:36

Can your sister fly home?

JustBloodyListen · 26/04/2022 20:50

@Toddlerteaplease thats one of the reasons I haven’t gone up yet. I have literally no one who could look after dc (youngest has additional needs so I can’t just leave with a friend) and there’s not much point being there if I can’t get into the hospital.

my sister is in the Middle East so no chance she’ll be able to fly home at short notice. I’ve managed to contact someone through the hospital’s friends Facebook page who has a daughter who has just finished her shift. She’s very kindly found my dm and has spoken to the front desk to try and get her seen as quickly as possible. She’s got my mum a bottle of water and said she’s clearly very feverish but is still lucid and able to walk although she’s really shaky. People can really be lovely sometimes.

OP posts:
JustBloodyListen · 26/04/2022 20:52

@Squidwall shes 70 but (normally) insanely fit and healthy. She still runs marathons and swims in the sea every day of the year. It’s frightening to suddenly think of her as old. Thank you so much for your advice, it’s really appreciated.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 26/04/2022 20:54

She'll be fine after some IVABs and maybe. Incision and drainage of the abscess.

Toddlerteaplease · 26/04/2022 20:55

I would t have thought it's worth getting your sister back from the ME. I

doggiescats · 26/04/2022 20:59

That’s good that someone has checked on your Mum in AE ,Social Media does have its plus sides…hopefully she will be given IVABs and pain relief ASAP!

Sexnotgender · 26/04/2022 21:04

Hopefully she gets treated soon, what terrible response from A&E and her dentist!

you must be so worried.

3luckystars · 26/04/2022 22:24

They don’t know what your mum is normally like though. She needs someone with her. I hope she gets attention soon and all the help she needs.

3luckystars · 26/04/2022 22:25

They don’t know what your mum is normally like though. She needs someone with her. I hope she gets attention soon and all the help she needs.

PrincessFiorimonde · 27/04/2022 00:37

JustBloodyListen · 26/04/2022 20:50

@Toddlerteaplease thats one of the reasons I haven’t gone up yet. I have literally no one who could look after dc (youngest has additional needs so I can’t just leave with a friend) and there’s not much point being there if I can’t get into the hospital.

my sister is in the Middle East so no chance she’ll be able to fly home at short notice. I’ve managed to contact someone through the hospital’s friends Facebook page who has a daughter who has just finished her shift. She’s very kindly found my dm and has spoken to the front desk to try and get her seen as quickly as possible. She’s got my mum a bottle of water and said she’s clearly very feverish but is still lucid and able to walk although she’s really shaky. People can really be lovely sometimes.

I'm really sorry to read about your mum, but hope the daughter of the person you contacted through the hospital’s friends Facebook page has been able to help.
I can see it must be hard for you, as you obviously can't just drop everything and travel from Devon to Kent at a moment's notice.
I do hope your mum is now being well looked after, and that your worry about her is eased a little bit.
Flowers to both you and your mum.

Solosunrise · 27/04/2022 06:10

Thinking of you and your mum this morning @JustBloodyListen
I've just read all your updates and I'm glad she was on her way to hospital.

I hope she got treated. Very best wishes!

MrsLargeEmbodied · 27/04/2022 06:21

sending best wishes op, you were so proactive i hope she has now been admitted or at least has IV antibiotics