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Original poster

Overtired 3 year old misery

13 replies

DueyCheatemAndHow · 26/04/2022 08:15

I just don't know what to do.

He wakes at 5. He's tired by 8. The tantrums are relentless. He's so emotional. The moment we get in the car he falls asleep.

He has white noise, black out curtains. Ignores the gro clock totally. Won't nap unless he falls asleep in front of the TV after lunch.

Bed at 6.45

I'm exhausted. We are away at the moment. Breakfast starts at 7. Even tho there are loads of other families we are first in because we've already been goin for 2 hours.

I'm exhausted.

OP posts:
Rinatinabina · 26/04/2022 08:20

Sounds awful, if he’s falling asleep in the car can you take him for a drive for an hour just to get a nap in? Just to break up the day for all of you? Sorry I wish I had a more useful idea

Dunrobin · 26/04/2022 08:28

Would he respond to rewards for staying in bed till his gro clock comes on? They recommend starting with a win, so turning the clock on for a time the child wakes up anyway so that they "succeed" on the first try and get lots of praise. Then very gradually making it later and later. With a sticker chart and a mini reward like a small toy he wants after 3 days, then 5 days?

Original poster
DueyCheatemAndHow · 26/04/2022 09:04

I've tried chocolate button rewards but it hasn't worked. I'll try setting it earlier so we start with a win.

It's 9am. He's knackered. He hasn't stopped talking at me. He's not managed anything by himself for even a minute since 5am.

It's really depressing me.

I can't take him for a drive everyday because we have an 18 month old too

OP posts:

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3 year olds Babies & sleep Children's sleep
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/04/2022 09:14

Mine got up at 5:30 until he was 4.

It was starting school that finally got it sorted so he’d wake up at a reasonable

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/04/2022 09:15

Can he get in with you?

CoffeeDay · 26/04/2022 09:18

Dear god, I could have written this post! DD3 is in the same phase and it's utterly miserable. She wakes up 7 (thankfully) but refuses to nap until bedtime which is 8-9. She's exhausted by midday and might sleep in the car but not anywhere else. She gets progressively crankier and hyperactive as the day wears on and dinner/bathtime is usually hell, as well as trying to settle her in bed. My day ends at 9:30 after which I only have time to clean up, take a bath and I go to bed. Repeat the next day.

I've tried almost everything. Some days she agrees to rest in her bed in the afternoons for "quiet time" but never sleeps. She starts whining after 30mins and I have to take her out and she's not rested either. We would sometimes go for a random drive in the afternoons so she can nap for 30-60mins but it seems crazy now with the petrol prices.

Your son is probably waking early due to the early bedtime. DD only sleeps 10hrs so if she went to bed at 7, she'll be up at 5 as well. The only way to sleep longer would be to push back bedtimes which unfortunately means less time in the evenings for you.

To be honest, the only tactic that works at the moment is to keep the daytime as busy as possible. A later start is easier because you don't have to deal with the empty, boring hours between 5-8. When DD wakes at 7 we start getting ready for pre-school. She's there until midday and then I try to pack as much into the day as possible so she's exhausted by evening (visiting grandparents, buying groceries, playground, playdate etc). On the weekends we try to go for day trips that involve a long drive and hope she'll nap in the car on the way back.

Unfortunately there's nothing much else that works. I'll be following this thread with interest hoping someone has better advice!

Dunrobin · 26/04/2022 09:29

I think you have to treat anything before 6am as a night waking and be really calm but firm. Keep returning them to bed. Lots of cuddles and praise for staying in bed, plus the very gradual gro clock system with rewards as above. I wouldn't try to fix it until you are back home and in a familiar routine though. Can DH take DC out for now and give you a break? Even an hour with a cup of tea and a book in your hotel room would help.

I really sympathise... That claustrophobic, sinking feeling after an awful night when you are all exhausted and you know they will be clingy and cranky all day because overtired is awful.

Dunrobin · 26/04/2022 09:29

I think you have to treat anything before 6am as a night waking and be really calm but firm. Keep returning them to bed. Lots of cuddles and praise for staying in bed, plus the very gradual gro clock system with rewards as above. I wouldn't try to fix it until you are back home and in a familiar routine though. Can DH take DC out for now and give you a break? Even an hour with a cup of tea and a book in your hotel room would help.

I really sympathise... That claustrophobic, sinking feeling after an awful night when you are all exhausted and you know they will be clingy and cranky all day because overtired is awful.

SecondhandTable · 26/04/2022 09:31

CoffeeDay · 26/04/2022 09:18

Dear god, I could have written this post! DD3 is in the same phase and it's utterly miserable. She wakes up 7 (thankfully) but refuses to nap until bedtime which is 8-9. She's exhausted by midday and might sleep in the car but not anywhere else. She gets progressively crankier and hyperactive as the day wears on and dinner/bathtime is usually hell, as well as trying to settle her in bed. My day ends at 9:30 after which I only have time to clean up, take a bath and I go to bed. Repeat the next day.

I've tried almost everything. Some days she agrees to rest in her bed in the afternoons for "quiet time" but never sleeps. She starts whining after 30mins and I have to take her out and she's not rested either. We would sometimes go for a random drive in the afternoons so she can nap for 30-60mins but it seems crazy now with the petrol prices.

Your son is probably waking early due to the early bedtime. DD only sleeps 10hrs so if she went to bed at 7, she'll be up at 5 as well. The only way to sleep longer would be to push back bedtimes which unfortunately means less time in the evenings for you.

To be honest, the only tactic that works at the moment is to keep the daytime as busy as possible. A later start is easier because you don't have to deal with the empty, boring hours between 5-8. When DD wakes at 7 we start getting ready for pre-school. She's there until midday and then I try to pack as much into the day as possible so she's exhausted by evening (visiting grandparents, buying groceries, playground, playdate etc). On the weekends we try to go for day trips that involve a long drive and hope she'll nap in the car on the way back.

Unfortunately there's nothing much else that works. I'll be following this thread with interest hoping someone has better advice!

I agree with this post ime but I appreciate there are some children that just seem to be early risers no matter what time you put them to bed and that would just make it worse if that happens. OP have you tried putting bedtime back? Also how 3 are they, when did they turn 3? There's a big difference ime between the sleep needs of a just-turned 3 yr old and one that is nearly 4 - my DD is nearly 4. She goes asleep between 7.40 and 8.10pm usually. She wakes anywhere between 6.45 and 8.15am really (and very occasionally later) but usually it is between 7 and 7.30am. At just-turned 3 she was asleep by about 7.30pm and usually having a nap of 30-60mins mid/late afternoon too. Nap was often in the car or buggy.

Mariposista · 26/04/2022 12:57

Nursery? That will stimulate him and keep him busy (and out from under your feet, especially if in a bad mood!)

Whatlovelyweather · 26/04/2022 18:14

My 3 year old will sleep until 7 if he’s in with me. Up at 6 if he’s in his own room. I appreciate this may not be an option if you have an 18 month old

Lem0nDrizzle · 26/04/2022 18:24

Can you not give him a nap and push bed time back?

Original poster
DueyCheatemAndHow · 26/04/2022 19:52

He won't nap unless I force one - e.g. in the car.

Doesn't settle cosleeping.

Goes to preschool, makes no difference.

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