Thick skin needed. Help with colleague flexing their muscles

[BouncierCastle]

Hi, regular name changer here. I started a new job recently and I need to develop either a thicker skin and some strategies for dealing with being upset by my colleague.

Most people in the team are incredibly welcoming and helpful but this one individual seems to feel the need to suggest petty amendments to work I’ve done. There’ve also been a couple of times when they haven’t replied to an email from me when I’ve clearly put a lot of work into the subject of the email. I don’t know whether I’m being over sensitive but I feel the lack of response was passive aggressive somehow.

For context, I’m probably a little but overqualified for the role but am an unassuming person and incredibly careful not to tread on anyone’s toes and to do things ‘their way’ as I’m new on the team. I just get this feeling I’m being put in my place despite this.

Any advice please on how to stop myself dwelling on things like this and to toughen up a bit? (Not in terms of how I actually respond to them but in terms of letting it fill my head!) I’m so annoyed with myself for letting it get to me.

If you put lot effort into an email, does that mean it's not simple to answer?

@Ragged what I meant was that the email had an attached document that took some time and really did warrant a response (as it benefited a department that they are involved).

Some people are petty little tinpot dictators, best ignored if at all possible.

I used to work with people who wouldn't bother responding to emails unless I'd copied in my manager. Most tedious and obstructive, when deadlines were involved.

If I was waiting too long I would just check in with my manager and ask for advice on how best to approach it, but that was the sort of relationship we had. (Sometimes he messaged direct, other times he was happy for me to chase, depending on the person/project/timings) Can you do something similar?

But what have they actually done?
Are they your line manager?
Did the not answering of the email cause problems for the work you were doing?
What kind of amendments have they made?

Youre not at work to make friends although good working relationships make life much easier. So try and take feelings out of the equation. How is said colleague around others?

@PAFMO the thing that they actually did was suggest some changes to my work that actually made it objectively worse ( DH agreed and knows the field). This has out the idea in my head that they’re flexing their muscles. And not replying to things that definitely need an acknowledgment or thanks.

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale I tell myself that daily but still dwell on things :(

@thecoffeewasthething I don’t want to antagonise!

Most of the problem is how much head space I’m giving it. They are not being dreadful. Just petty. I feel a bit undermined by them ‘correcting’ my work. I don’t want to give details that could be outing.