Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

For those with children leaving the nest. Who has family group chats

43 replies

Enko · 24/04/2022 09:52

Dd1 is going to be moving out of home and in with her boyfriend in June. (She is currently on a course until then hence June)

They have moved her books over and today we proudly got photos in our family group WhatsApp chat.

Dh asked the question "at what point do we invite boyfriend to the family group chat?"

I found it a interesting question. I will admit it had not occurred to me to do but as dh said it I thought well yes at some point we will do so. Boyfriend is highly likely "the one" (as far as you can feel certain of that. No crystal ball obviously) so I suspect will be in our lives.

What have others done? Our group chat is active as our 4 children are spread around at different unis and courses so we use it as a catch up.

The children have their own separate group too (named by ds it is called I've got all my sisters with me) 😀

OP posts:
tuliplover · 24/04/2022 10:50

I have family group chat with my sisters, my children aren't on it. I don't have a family group chat with my kids at all - rarely do I need to address them at the same time snd my daughter doesn't have WhatsApp anyway.
Bit if I did have a more general one I don't think I'd ever include a partner unless they were well established (married, kids). So many of the family WhatsApp is about money and past family stuff that I don't need anyone else (including my kids) to know or worry about.

Taytocrisps · 24/04/2022 11:12

We have a family Whatsapp group. It consists of my Dad, the adult children, all of their spouses bar one and most of the adult grandchildren. One SIL never joined in and one nephew never joined either. They both steer clear of all social media. My sister is with her partner years but he never asked to join in (and she never asked on his behalf). My nephew is going out with a lovely girl (hoping for news of an engagement soon) and I suspect she will join in at the earliest opportunity. But she's very friendly and sociable. My niece is buying a house with her partner but he's not as long on the scene and would probably steer clear of the Whatsapp page as he doesn't know us as well. It's particularly useful at Christmas as we do kriskindle and everyone sticks up a wishlist. Other than that, it's mainly used for birthday wishes, the odd holiday snap (nobody puts up millions of photos - just one or two) and the odd bit of other news. Occasionally someone unearths an old family photo and posts it, much to the embarrassment of the subject(s).

My sister has also set up a group for siblings only - it's mostly my sister who posts in this chat and it's for things that she reckons only we would have an interest in. Like, news about the death of someone we knew as kids (can you tell I'm Irish Smile?)

And there's another group for me and my sisters because we sometimes organize a girls' weekend away.

But we mainly use the bigger, family chat.

Taytocrisps · 24/04/2022 11:14

Should add that Dad accidentally achived the group and was MIA for ages and nobody noticed. He said to me recently that he hadn't seen some message or photo recently, so I checked his phone and that's how it came to light.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Mrsjayy · 24/04/2022 11:19

We just have Dc and us no partners in fact I don't even have their phone numbers ! Fwiw I like them it's just not something I've thought about doing.

NoCureForLove · 24/04/2022 11:21

We have a number of group chats and that works well for us. Both parents and each dc, both parents and both dc, both parents, both dc plus partners...

Mrsjayy · 24/04/2022 11:26

I'd get confused with so many combos of group chats!

Chewbecca · 24/04/2022 11:28

DH isn’t on my family group chat (parents and siblings), nor are DC.

I did start one that included partners & children when we were meeting up but it hasn’t continued to be used. My mum didn’t like the name which mashed up our surnames 😂

ApolloandDaphne · 24/04/2022 11:31

We have one that is me DH and our DDs. We have another that is me, my DDs, my niece and my ex-SIL (who is like family). On my DHs side we have one that is all the family pretty much but it isn't used much.

L1ttledrummergirl · 24/04/2022 11:44

We have lots of different groups. I've told ds1 to add his girlfriend to the main family group whenever they feel ready.
I'm not convinced she wants to know all of our unimportant chit chat.

Horsemad · 24/04/2022 11:50

😳 We don't have any groups at all! I just phone/text any of them if I want to catch up with them.

seven201 · 24/04/2022 14:13

My husband of 8 years isn't on our family whatsapp, nor would he want to be! My husbands family have two - one with me (it is rarely used thankfully) and one without.

He's not going to want a remind that it Aunt Joan's birthday next week or whatever.

WalkingOnSonshine · 24/04/2022 14:19

My family group chat doesn’t include spouses. DH’s family group chat has me & SIL. We’ve been “in the family” for 12 and 16 years respectively so were just added when it was set up.

BIL’s ex was added when they were together for about 12 months and had met extended family etc. They split up last year after 3 years, and she left the group chat about a month after they split up.

Ops1 · 24/04/2022 14:19

We have so many chats on the go with different variables of whose added so create a new one maybe named after their new address so
‘Ladbroke grove chat’ then that’s a space for the boyfriend to be included?

FourChimneys · 24/04/2022 14:22

We have two. One is me and the DC, the other also includes their partners. DH isn't in either, by choice. The smaller one tends to be for more personal stuff, the wider one is mainly used for Wordle scores, photos of meals and other trivial stuff.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 24/04/2022 14:25

I have a family group chat with parents and siblings. None of my sibling’s partners are in the chat, including the long term ones married/ with kids etc. Don't think it’s ever occurred to any of us that they would need to be in there to be honest!

OddBoots · 24/04/2022 14:25

It sounds like you don't mind either way so I'd say that it would depend on DD, just let her know you happy for her to make that call. She may or may not want him there.

Louise0701 · 24/04/2022 14:28

Same as @EmergencyHammer I’m married with children but our family WhatsApp is me, my 3 siblings and our parents.
All 3 of us are married with children but our spouses aren’t in the chat.

My parents are very close to all our spouses too; dad goes to the pub most Fridays with my DH, DB & BIL.

Original poster
Enko · 25/04/2022 07:06

I find all these different solutions interesting. I suspect for us boyfriend will be added in due course. I will sound out dd1s siblings before we do so to hear their view. However boyfriend is well liked so I suspect they will say go for it.

We will wait until they are officially living together before we do anything.

Its been interesting to see the many replies. I love how different we operate as human beings

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page